Every day this pain is harder to manage. This truly is the hardest pain a person will know...the loss of their child.
So, my tears fall, I wake up in the middle of the night from the hurt in my soul, I try to tell myself a funny memory ...but even those memories do not comfort the crushing of my heart. In time in time...I tell myself in time my tears will not fall everyday.
I wonder with tears how this is possible. I listen to the memories we all hold with pride. I know you lived life you truly loved. You loved so deeply. I held your hand as you left us wondering how this could be and being proud to be your mom. My brain froze on changing your diapers which was a crazy thing to think of, but as we ride to see you for the last time I realize I was thinking of diapers because you are my baby my son. I love you my love....my beautiful wild son. Let your mind rest in peace. I love you Billy.