Today is another day that I cannot manage. My chest hurts...it feels like my chest is burning into my ears. I cannot concentrate because no matter what I try to focus on I know I know I know nothing is ok. This every second the noise in my head is asking why and how and why and it's not fear and it's not ok and I will never be ok and who am I know. I hurt a hurt I cannot find the words for or moreso I don't want to put words to my new nows. Just never thought one of my kids would leave. Now I know I am not special I do not get to escape that heartbroken daily way of life. Billy you loved me so much...the biggest badass momma's boy...and I use to smile knowing you loved your momma.
Billy I will miss ur goofy faces n crazy Facebook posts ..it sucks we lived Soo far away I would hve loved to of seen u again cuz all of u. rest easy we will see each other again .watch over the family love u cuz