I’m sorry to hear about Paula’s passing.

Respectfully yours, 

Eric L. Girven 

Good evening,

Paula and I learned that we were cousins through Ancestry.com. I've been a member of Ancestry.com  forever and was surprised when she reached out to me and asked if I would be willing to explore how we are related. I couldn't believe that some long lost family member had finally contacted me. After several emails and or text messages, we finally made arrangments to talk on January 4, 2019 if I recall correctly. 

 Talking with Paula was like catching up with a friend that I have always known but just had not spoken to in a while. I enjoyed our conversation and looked forward to meeting her in person to learn more about the relatives she and I shared. I was looking forward to visiting her in person and getting some personal training as well as her advice on caring for my bad shoulder. Our conversation motivated me to keep on searching for our shared ancestors.  We ended our conversation with me declaring that the next time we spoke, I would have identified exactly how we were related. With that goal in mind, and wanting to make good on my promise, I hesitated to call her until I had more details. None of the names of any of my relatives that I inquired about were familiar to her. 

 As time went on, I came to realize that their names were not familiar to Paula because they were all from my maternal/mother's side of the family. I had no names from my paternal/father's side to suggest to Paula. When I realized that Paula and I are actually related through my father's side of the family, I was ecstatic to finally make that call to her.  I can't remember how I learned that the cell number was no longer her number, I just remember that I decided to Google her name. I was stunned to learn of her death. This was a cousin relationship and a possible friendship that I was so looking forward to. Paula turned out to be the first and only family member I have ever known and ever had a conversation with from my father's side of the family. What a cousin! What a cousin! Being a cousin was important enough to her to reach out and want to know me. I cherish her taking the time to reach out to me and will always cherish her memory.

A message from PaulaGirven:

Greetings Funmilayo! *I feel like I am stumbling through this Ancestry process. I get so tied- up with work (I am a personal trainer for a private Women-only studio & our clients are all older...late 40’s, 50s, 60s, 70s & 80s! And I am constantly doing continuing education. I help clients with knee & hip replacement, bad knees, bad backs, rotator cuff issues, plantar fasciitis, etc. Clients on diabetic & high blood pressure meds come off medication because we have a nutritionist on staff.