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In memory of

James Wei Huang

Oakton, VA
August 4, 2003 - July 18, 2020
Aug 4, 2003 - Jul 18, 2020
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October 25, 2020. Day Ninety-…
October 25, 2020. Day Ninety-nine. How about the sweet candies from this day in 2009? A Star Wars fan since little. That same year, you asked for the Star Wars Falcon Lego set, more than a thousand pieces. The packaging said it’s for nine-year old and up. And you were only six. But you insisted you wanted it. The next morning, you got up extra early, and stayed in your room the whole day. By the evening, you presented us the gigantic spaceship that you just built, which had been in your room ever since. I saw that you also made a teaser video for IBET Wars, styled after Star Wars, for your class in January 2018. And then I saw this picture, where you turned yourself into Luke Skywalker in early February 2018. Was it part of the IBET Wars? I guess you had real fun there. Have fun, Skywalker. Love you baby.
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October 22, 2006. Burke Lake.…
2006, Burke Lake, Virginia
October 22, 2006. Burke Lake. This day fourteen years ago. You were just three. So curious about everything. An explorer. A goer. A doer. However, always so cautious in the meantime. Unlike your little sister, you never left our sights when you were little. The basketball hoodie brought back vivid memories of how you were into basketball for a couple years. In the summer before your third grade, in New Canaan, Connecticut, one day you brought a pair of size 7 basketball shoes back home, after the basketball camp. We asked you what that was for. You told us how you beat everybody in the shootout contest of the eight- to twelve-year-old group. And those shoes were the prize for the winner. Certainly, the camp coaches didn’t prepare an appropriate prize for an eight-year old winner. A year later, you were in the basketball tournament with your fourth-grader team in Virginia. I was so thrilled at seeing you make the final two swishes and helped win the semifinal game. Three-pointers. Two in a row. That’s my James. Love you baby.
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October 18, 2018. This day tw…
2018, Springfield, VA, USA
October 18, 2018. This day two years ago. James in a cross country run. Photo shared by his friends . Dear friends: I am sorry if I upset you with my mourning earlier. I will try to mark this day with the memory from that day. Love you all.
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October 18, 2020. Three. Months.

About that twilight hour, Milo left my side of the bed, wandered off somewhere. And then he was back. Crawled up to me: time to wake up, time to wake up. Time to wake up from what, James?

For my whole life, I was so sure my brain was hardwired for reasons and logic, and short in imagination, creativity, and passion. But for 92 days already, I still have flashes in my mind that if I close my eyes, and open them again, I would wake up from a fucking nightmare. Every single day.

Would I ever imagine I would learn that skin can become allergic to tears a mere three months ago? Oh, my baby. How I miss you.

When you were a little baby, I couldn't stop myself from pecking on your chubby cheeks. But then it changed as you grew up. When you were just three-year old, you were still sleeping in the same room with us, even though on your little toddler bed. We tried to talk you into moving into your own room all the time. Then one night, it was already past 9 o'clock. We started the same conversation again. And you, suddenly, decided you wanted to move, right then and there. I asked you to do it the next day. You wouldn't have it. You decided that you need to move. So we took apart you bed and reassembled it in your room that night. James, I admired you for your resolve. You were a little giant to me that night.

Since when did I stop telling you I love you? Too early. And for too long. My little giant grew so big so fast, surpassing me on one thing after another. I had forgotten you were still just my little baby deep down. Should I have told you my love for you is unconditional? Unconditional. Give me another chance, I would say it a million times every day. But I just didn’t. What a fucking idiot I have been my whole life.

There were so many things that we did together. There were so many that I should have done to keep you. There are so many that I had been looking forward to doing with you for the rest of my life: sharing a real drink, shooting craps man to man, getting to know your future family, being an indulgent grandparent…..

James, together, we made a collection of a wide variety of original, sealed soft drink bottles. James, do you know I had stashed away a real bottle of drink that is ten years older than you? That drink had been saved for the moment when you are ready to open it with me, son and father, young man and old man. Oh my dear son.

Oh god. We were so close to my wishes, weren’t we?

Forever, your last joke at my expense, is carved into my memory vault. At the July 4th party, the conversation turned to pets. You, standing behind me, tapping at my left shoulder with your right hand, told others about me spoiling our fostered dog, Gary: “The dog would sit right next to him at the dinner table, wanting our food. And this guy would always say ‘no more’. But there was always more.” James, my little baby, you knew me so much more than I knew you.

Oh god. What is the cruelest thing in life? When the clock stops. No. I don’t mean my own clock. That is no comparison to the cruelty of having a child's clock stopped.

Three months ago, I was so busy with our daily lives. So many things I was trying hard to handle. So busy that I failed to spend enough time with you. And I thought I was doing all those, and not doing all others that I should have done with you, for the good of our family. I thought. I thought. What use is “I thought”?

Three months later, I am pushing aside everything to pick up the pieces you left behind, no matter how tiny, how obscure, and how pointless.

What is important in life? What is meaningless, and what is meaningful, for us? Did I know it then? Do I know it now? James, I didn't know, and I still don't know. All I knew back then, sitting at the bottom of my heart, was that you were more important than any of the other things I was pretending to be busy with in my life. But I didn't tell you that. All I know now, at the bottom and top of my heart, was that anything and everything about you is so very important. But there is no way to tell you anymore.

My whole life I thought I was of the toughest sort mentally. Now I know I am not. I have cried enough for sixteen lifetimes. I told you a hundred times to learn to be mentally tough. And I am failing it myself, James. I taught you nothing. And I learned nothing myself. And I was so mean at saying I love you when you could actually hear it. I am sorry baby.

Love you baby.
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June 18, 2018. Virginia Beach…
2018, Virginia Beach, VA, USA
June 18, 2018. Virginia Beach. Footprints. The ones still there. And the ones not anymore. All leading to the perfect realm of dream? James. So many of your works that I had never seen before. I wish I had a tenth of your sense for beauty and life. Love you baby.
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August 15, 2010. On the sceni…
2010, Quebec, Canada
August 15, 2010. On the scenic road from Montreal to Quebec City, Canada. That wasn’t a photo stop we planned. And you weren’t really posing for what were in the picture. We pulled over on the side of the road because the car engine was suddenly smoking. We took that picture with the beautiful wildflowers because they were everywhere, and just came into the frame. The picture was to memorialize what were missing: all of your front teeth. Your four-year old sister just knocked away the last of them with a skillful kick a few nights before in an Ottawa hotel room. And it didn’t occur to us that we should take a picture of their “missing” until we were stranded on the side of the road, 100 miles to Quebec City, 70 miles back to Montreal. The Canadian police arrived to our rescue on a BMW motorcycle, and was amazed that we wanted a tow to Quebec City, instead of Montreal. Well, James, you got a ride of your life on a tow truck, for one hundred miles. And of course, all mechanic shops were close when bad things happened to your car. It was a Sunday in Canada anyway. We dropped the car off at the parking lot of the dealer service shop. The next morning, they called us: “Good news. Nothing is wrong. Your car just had too much engine oil. We took some out. And it is all fine now.” Hearing the update at the hotel room, just like when we saw your front tooth on the floor a few days before, we all burst into laughter. Because, the smart dad, actually took the car to a Valvoline shop for service the day before the road trip. So much for planning in life. Right, baby? Love you baby.
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October 10, 2020. Sitting at …
2010, Shelton, Connecticut, USA
October 10, 2020. Sitting at home, memory lane leads me back to October 10, 2010, apple-picking in Connecticut. You had a sweet mouth since little. But you had sweeter teeth. You liked your fair share of candies. However, you loved fruits so much more. Summertime, we would buy two giant watermelons a week. And you were the one responsible for at least a third of those. Maybe I should keep that a little family secret, James? Before you turned into a meat person in your teens, yelling for meat in each meal, you were kind of indiscriminate when it came to fruits. You probably did not remember it. When you were just over two-year old, your crazy dad came up with a genius strategy at the dinner table. I would lay a plate of grapes on the far side of the table, while pointing to your dinner plate right in front of you, with meat smartly hidden under the vegetables. I would say, “Finish that plate, and the grapes are all yours.” Yes. You liked veggies more than meat when little. I really don’t get how you would turn into that boring thirteen-, fourteen-, and fifteen-year old that only ordered steaks every single time we ate out. Love you baby.
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October 8, 2020. At the end o…
2020, Dolly Sods Wilderness, Dry Fork, WV, USA
October 8, 2020. At the end of our first long hike, without you, I found that we were chasing the sunset. For the first time, without you, James. Together, how many times had we chased the sunsets? So many that I had lost counts for so long. But, not nearly enough, James. December 22, 2019. Snowshoe, West Virginia. August 9, 2019. Venice Beach, Los Angeles. April 19, 2019. Cabo Da Roca, Lisbon, Portugal. April 15, 2019. Vltava River, Prague, Czech Republic. April 14, 2019. Spree River, Berlin, Germany. August 21, 2018. Han River, Seoul, South Korea. December 23, 2017. Grand Canyon National Park, Arizona. August 23, 2017. River Limmat, Zurich, Switzerland. January 22, 2017. Old San Juan, Puerto Rico. September 2, 2016. Victoria, British Columbia, Canada. August 26, 2016. Seattle, Washington. August 21, 2016. Yosemite National Park, California. August 13, 2016, Point Loma, San Diego. July 19, 2016. Bay Shore, Long Island, New York. January 20, 2016. Paradise Island, The Bahamas. James. Chasing the sun. You memorialized all our craziness with your camera, beautifully. I can only share with you my dumb phone photos. At the ten-mile mark of the hike yesterday, I was tired. But I did remember what we liked to say when we did that kind of trek together: “One foot in front of the other. Just keep doing it. ” Still, I am tired, baby. Love you baby.
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Morning turns to night. Summe…
2020, Dolly Sods Wilderness, Davis, WV, USA
Morning turns to night. Summer turns to fall. Time is cruel. Seasons are transient. Life is fragile. Memory is loyal. This twelve-mile track leads nowhere. Not to you. Love you baby.
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July 18 to August 4 is 17 days.

17 days to your 17th birthday. James, is that just another coincidence, or one more riddle for me from your perfectionist mind?

I think I understand the astronomical twilight timing. But I really can't figure out what this "17 to 17" means.

Love you baby.
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October 3, 2020. A Saturday morning. Sitting at your desk, I thought I gained the courage to listen to your “Nostalgic Vibe” playlist again. I started with The Fray’s “You Found Me”. I managed through it. Then it was his “How To Save A Life”. Oh, James, you listened to it so much. Even once on July 14 and another time on July 15. What were you doing those days behind your locked doors? I could never know. You were so good at removing your digital footprints for those several days. Spotify is the only place where I can see when you were up, when you caught a nap, and what you were listening to.

But I know what you were dealing with. Behind the locked doors of your bedroom and your study, you were in pain. You were wishing to talk. But I, as your dad, failed to do just that. I waited. I thought I would wait until July 20, when we were going on a planned road trip to the beach, to talk. We would be on the road for hours, and on the beach all day long. We would have all the time in the world to talk. And that would have been your first road trip on the steering wheel.

Why did I wait? What did I get to lose to not wait? We had a three-hour talk, together with your sister, on June 24. Because we had a silent fight over your computers on June 22. I took away your computers while you were sleeping during the day. You took them back that evening. And then it was locked doors. On the 24th, I forced open the door to your study. Pulling in your sister, then we talked about life goals, college planning, social unrest, BLM, tearing down statutes, and so much more. For. Three. Hours. You showed me again you had a very rational and logical mind, and a very caring heart. You gave your sister advices on academic planning. You brought your sister water when she was nervous. And James, only after, I found that you googled “Father’s Day” at 5AM on the morning of June 22, the day I took away your computers, and the day after we had our Father’s Day dinner. Except that the father is a total idiot.

The days after that talk, we were a really happy bunch together, weren’t we? Then I saw the doors closed again suddenly. And the idiot in me waited. I waited. Why did I wait to talk to my son?



The Fray – How To Save A Life

Step one, you say we need to talk
He walks, you say sit down, it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left, and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
'Cause after all, you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And I pray to God he hears you

And where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life
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October 1, 2020. Mid-Autumn D…
2020, Your Resting Place
October 1, 2020. Mid-Autumn Day. Or the Mooncake Day as you liked to call it. A day for family reunion. James, Milo and Felix visited you for the first time. Milo couldn’t stop meowing. He had so much to talk to you about. He loves you. We all love you, baby.
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This was near the beginning o…
2019, Bus
This was near the beginning of junior year on the bus and James had brought his camera to school that day. He showed me how focus the camera and take photos. After messing around with it taking selfies together, I took a candid photo. In that moment, I had no idea how much those pictures would mean now. I wish I had more chances to take more photos of James instead of the other way around.
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WHY Do You Want to Become a Memory, James?

"When I was 16, my father said, 'You can do anything you want with your life. You just have to be willing to work hard to get it.' That's when I decided, when I die, I want to be remembered for the life I lived—not the money I made." - Avicii. The opening monologue for his song “The Nights”.

James. You loved Chester Bennington’s Linkin Park so much. You loved Avicii’s “The Nights” so much more. Listening to your Spotify songs, why do I find that I like so many of them so much too? And why do they have to hurt so much too?

Love you baby.

Avicii – The Nights

Hey, once upon a younger year
When all our shadows disappeared
The animals inside came out to play
Hey, when face to face with all our fears
Learned our lessons through the tears
Made memories we knew would never fade

One day my father—he told me,
"Son, don't let it slip away"
He took me in his arms, I heard him say,

"When you get older
Your wild life will live for younger days
Think of me if ever you're afraid."

He said, "One day you'll leave this world behind
So live a life you will remember."
My father told me when I was just a child
These are the nights that never die
My father told me

When thunder clouds start pouring down
Light a fire they can't put out
Carve your name into those shinning stars
He said, "Go venture far beyond the shores.
Don't forsake this life of yours.
I'll guide you home no matter where you are."

One day my father—he told me,
"Son, don't let it slip away."
When I was just a kid I heard him say,

"When you get older
Your wild life will live for younger days
Think of me if ever you're afraid."

He said, "One day you'll leave this world behind
So live a life you will remember."
My father told me when I was just a child
These are the nights that never die
My father told me

These are the nights that never die
My father told me
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June 2016. You were twelve-year old. One day, you announced to us you just created your little Napkin Studios on YouTube, and posted your first video. And I was so pleasantly surprised, but couldn't help wondering "where did that come from".

This morning, I tried to search for them, but couldn't find anything on YouTube. With some more learning and digging, I saw that you dropped that brand and made all the published videos private in early 2017.

Why you did that will probably be another mystery to me forever. I never asked. There were so many things that I should have asked when I had all the time in the world. But I just didn't.

James, those videos are amazing. For a blossoming photographer and filmmaker, these videos are almost the only ones that have you in front of, instead of behind, the camera.

James, I am making them public again. A tribute to Napkin Studios, and the twelve and thirteen-year-old you. The year you went from shoe size eight to ten and a half. The year you grew from my little buddy to almost a head over me. And I was never happier looking up.

Love you baby
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September 22, 2020. Home.
Astronomical Twilight. I woke up in that darkest moment again. In the deepest depth of quiet and darkness, I pulled up my phone, and looked up the sunrise time of that fateful day. And I found the start of astronomical twilight for that day at 5:15 AM. Oh James. You are always such a perfectionist. You are too smart for your idiotic dad.

Was it because of the sunrise to follow?

Grandma, who we are still keeping in the dark until we can travel there and tell them all in person, sent me an innocent video. It is a new three-quarter mile long tunnel through the mountain, for pedestrians and bicycles only, beautiful and full of modern technological marvels in display, in my hometown. Right next to it, are the two conventional automobile tunnels built 30 years ago. In the video, a song from 30 years ago is playing.

When the automobile tunnels were still in construction, I rode a bike through them, over the muddy surfaces and under dripping water, with no fear in the world. Yes, I was 16 back then, exactly your age, James. And yes, I was listening to that same song so much. I loved that song. It is so full of energy, so uplifting：

“Destiny can be a torment. Destiny can be bizarre. Fate may be always taunting you. It may feel like no fun to live. Shed no tears. Never give up…...I had spent my life spiraling in circles, seeing no future. I had been lost, squatting in a lonely corner, helplessly……Back then the younger me. How many times I had fallen and wept in rainy nights……But one day you came to me. Like the fire of the bright red sun, ignited the real me. With you by my side, scaling a thousand treacherous mountains…..The evening breeze touched us gently. With it the fragrance of flowers like blessing us. The night stars blinking. Spattering me with your wishes like ocean waves……”

Yes. That song’s name is Red Sun. You never heard of it. But it is so like the song in your playlist: CHASING THE SUN. But they are so different. When I was 16, I had to go out with my friends, literally and physically fooling around, to have fun. I felt like invincible. I didn’t want to listen to anybody either. But there was no computer with a headset for me to sit in front of all day. There was no Airpods to shut myself in everywhere I went. I had to talk to the few people I could physically reach. And they were the real people who I could trust. Even the song’s lyric was more anchored to the real and physical world we lived in.

The sun is out now. Are we seeing the same one, my baby?

Love you baby.
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A masterpiece. From a 13-year…
2016, Alaska, USA
A masterpiece. From a 13-year old you, James. The mystic peaks. Behind the veils of clouds. Close enough to reach in your lens. But, they are so too far, my baby...... Love you baby.
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September 18, 2020. Two months. Two months of tsunami waves, sweeping on me relentlessly and incessantly, from the inside out. Today, they started earlier, at 2 o'clock in the morning. And they have gotten even more ferocious, and strike ever more ruthlessly. James, are you soaring safe above the vicious waves?

James, for almost seventeen years, I thought I was doing all I could to keep you safe and healthy. Was I? Remembered we once talked about muscular dystrophy diseases, which are genetic and only impact boys, with their muscles wasting away gradually, resulting in deaths for most before they even reach adulthood? For so many times, when I thought of the children with various disabling diseases, I always felt empathy for their parents, and counted my blessings for having you and your sister in such great health and shape. Did I? James, what a failure I had been. I failed to keep you safe and well. I failed to make sure you grow up to enjoy a long life. I failed to be your guardian. I failed in the only thing that really mattered. James, I am sorry I am such a failure as your dad.

What have I done today? Nothing that mattered. What will I do today? Probably nothing that will matter. What did I do two months ago today? Your sister and I gave Milo and Felix their first baths. The two kittens struggled. They tried to escape from the shower. We managed to hold them down. We got some laughs. And we had two freshly shampooed fluffy balls by mid morning.

Later, I went ahead and made your and your sister's favorite pizza, with lots of pineapple, for lunch. You and your sister didn't have much in commmon when it came to food. You loved cheesecakes. She hated cheesecakes. She loves shrimp. And you hated shrimp unless it's made into tempura, because-in your own words-it doesn't taste like shrimp anymore. But the two of you did share one favorite pie, the pineapple pizza. That morning, for some reason, I overloaded the pie with almost twice the usual amount of mozzarella cheese. And that, James, had you tried a bite of the pizza, you would know it was for you. I knew you wouldn't be up in time to eat the pizza at noon that day. But I was so sure that you would get up and eat it with satisfaction sometime later. Wouldn't you, James?

What did that pizza taste like? I don't know any more. Did you, James? Was it also god's mysterious way of telling me something? Why made me make your favorite pizza that you wouldn't eat?

Oh, pineapple pizza. On a fateful day. Why do I even think of pineapple pizza, of all things, on this day? I realized I haven't made any pizza ever since. And probably won't again. I had made my last pineapple pizza, for you, James.

Love you, baby.
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September 13, 2019. This exa…
2019, TJ Homecoming Night
September 13, 2019. This exact day one year ago. TJ Homecoming night. Got this precious photo from your friends. The two of us talked about life being unfair to you, in some aspects, some time ago. And that's so true when it comes to photos. James, you have taken so many photos of others. But I have been struggling to find enough of yours, my beautiful boy. Love you baby.
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September 8, 2020. First day of school. Without you, James. I woke up and told myself this is not a day to cry. Told mom we need to focus on making our lives happier from today on. Got a very kind message early morning from a father who had been through this day before. Got a message from your school principal. I thought I could make it through this day, James.

James. You had never been the type of student I was. You enjoyed figuring things out yourself. You liked to teach yourself. Building lego. Building robots. Then out of nowhere, you developed you interest in photography and filming. By 12, that interest got more serious. You taught yourselves all the techniques, doing your own research, spending hours on end practicing shooting and editing. You even started your little Napkin Studio on YouTube, sharing your work with others.

You always had your own ideas. You liked to make your own decisions. You wanted to go your own way. I am sorry I had been in your way, James.

Love you baby.
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September 6, 2020. Labor Day. We used to be such an outdoorsy family. We wouldn't have let this day, and the long weekend, go wasted without something to make us sweaty and exhausted.

Now, sitting at your desktop computer, at your same desk, but now in your bedroom, it's just another quiet morning. Is morning short for mourning? Oh James, two mornings ago, I had to return a video call from grandma I ignored once again the night before.

The grandparents from both sides only have one grandson and one granddaughter. Her name is Cynthia. And his name was James. James, our last video call with grandpa and grandma, together, was on the morning of July 5, starting at 8:53, lasting thirteen minutes and twenty-eight seconds. They saw your handsome and happy face. And you told them about the party at a family friend's house the night before. You drove us there. And you drove mom and Cynthia home after the party because you said: "I need to practice driving at night."

The morning after, seeing you up so early was a big surprise. And that was why we had the call with grandma and grandpa. We used to call grandma and grandpa every other weekend. Sometimes with you and your sister, when you were available to talk. But no more since then. I managed to send some random photos and messages on and off, ignoring all calls from them. Until August 22, the night we just arrived at the Smoky Mountains. Grandma, after her call being ignored one more time, sent me a message, "why don't you pick up calls anymore? Are you hiding anything from us?" I could only reply with "we just came to the mountains with some friends. Bad connection”. Right away, grandma messaged back: "Great. Xiaoyang (you) and Xiaoyu (Cynthia) must be very happy".

Oh James, at the call two mornings ago, I had to flip the camera to the kittens for basically the whole time. I had to tell them that they couldn't see you because you and your sister were always sleeping in late and staying in your rooms. I had to tell them even I didn't get to see you. A teenager thing. Always so loving of their only grandchildren, they seemed to be ok with the excuses. The only thing that was more than half-true I told them that morning was: "we will all go visit you soon when the virus thing is over." God. James, you will be with us for that visit, will you not?

Love you baby.
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Seven weeks. Forty-nine days.…
2020, Home
Seven weeks. Forty-nine days. James. Every seventh day since, mom has been putting out your favorite cheesecake. Lighting up the candles. For you. Born in the US, you wouldn’t even know this ritual. But mom always has you in her heart. Every single second. Mom would even give you varieties of food and drinks every week, even the flavor of the cheesecakes. Wherever you are, James, we have a place set for you. Love you baby.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch…

James, found this song on your computer a while ago. Just got around to listen to it. You edited it for your sister's dance solo, on February 29. But she didn't get to use it for the dance competition because of the virus shutdown.

A beautiful song, even though it was not on your Spotify playlist. But like so many things, did the lyric add to what you were feeling?

James, how I have wished I had found a way into your world much earlier. Always knew you were smart, and thought you were just careless. How can I redeem myself?

Love you baby.
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Today is September 1. A new m…
2016, Pacific Coast Highway
Today is September 1. A new month. Waking up early morning, I was thinking: can this be the start of a new month we can miss you without turning into tears? The photo gallery delivered me pictures of you by the stream in ketchikan, Alaska, on September 1, 2016, by the hundreds of salmon swimming upstream, oftentimes jumping over little cliffs. The fish is born in the mountains of Alaska. They then swim down, via the same stream, into the ocean, spending their lifetime in the Pacific, reaching Japan and Hawaii. When the time comes, they would swim back up the same stream, to the exact birth spots in the mountains, to die. Their skin turn from silver, to black, to orange, and then to shining red at the end. Circle of life. Circle of the universe? Memory is cruel..... I flipped on. And saw this bird. You took the picture on the Pacific Coast Highway, on August 13, 2016, at the beginning of that same trip, when we drove from San Diego to Seattle, and then hopped on the ship to Alaska. James, fly on. Soar on. Love you baby.
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