1/26/23 smiling serving
I am Emerson chin
Maybe I need an anthem
To sing what I am good for
For people who never can find
The words to fit what I am championing for.
This is who I was meant to be
It is time for people to know
This is me
and you are apart of my “us”
I was ashamed
I was worthless
I try but don’t succeed
I felt stuck and no where to go
I was slow
I could not read
I could not write
I searched to do something
I was bullied
I joined the military
No one loved me like my mom
I had a place cause my mom believed
I didn’t die
I am someone loved
I am tough
I am meant to be heard
Look out I beat to a different drum
My unit died but I came back to hug mom and all the other moms
I promised to live for their sons
For I saw their faces in the darkness
I lived sad wanting to protect my sister
From harm and a legacy
of unspoken dysfunction
that veteran Families endure.
I wished I knew the signs of
My moms weak heart
But no one else should lose their mom
That's why I learned training
In SFNERT to save families
I didn’t know the way in the dark
If I fall o don’t blame anyone
Sometimes I wish I too was dead
Sometimes I wish god would tell me
Why someone
short and ugly
was left in this place
Seasons came and went
Why he let me survive to endure pain with a cane
Sometimes I come so close
but i feel like everyone is so faraway
But maybe I am here paying a price too much skateboarding
Maybe I am never resting so they can
live their lives
And so I am disconnected
Living but not feeling family
I am what I am reminded of
I wander and do not know
why I am alive
Maybe I am alive to live their dream
for all those I collected
I search for myself and I
Am trying to collect what I left behind—
connection and love.
I can’t choose family
And family didn’t choose to keep me
I am not who you see
I have no mom to love me
I have no wife my friend she died of throat cancer
I am lonely and have no children near,
I awaken
don’t know how Emerson is
Homeless and still alive
Heartbroken and ill
Working and keeping busy
Lonely but not settling
I see a thousand lights with families
But they are never enough to warm Me and I can’t get acclimated
I see homeless and I see me in their
Lost eyes and I offer food and shelter
Because it is not enough
to just toss A coin .
I was homeless and everything
Bites you
When I got on my feet
I paid to join families
Maybe there was a time to escape into
A new reality to eat with strangers
With more money than my wallet
And more loved ones to return home to ,
Who over time can be my friend
Who can enjoy my company
so I joined
Lions club
post 4618
Homeless connect
SFIC
Ymca pantry
Soup kitchens
Sf giants family
Boys scout
Boys and girls club
SF NERT
Salvation Army
I have the passion
I put in the sweat equity.
I realize I needed change
And I realized I came thru life with lots
Of scars, I am not tall or beautiful
But I changed my heart to fit the people
I can’t do it alone
You can’t do it alone
I joined a cooperative team
I serve and now the world just needs
To change its heart to humbly look
At people like me who survived
And serve
and are reaching out a hand
To be connected,
fist bump us back
To say you hear us .
I fall
I hold my course
That is the
Story of my life
Things happen In lifetime
To tell us to live it better
I now ask that i can
Smile , survive and serve .
God help , me, Emerson chin!
--God surround Emerson's
Bigger family of friends , prayer circle friends
with a hedge of protection
So those he loved live happy
And may Emerson’s hope fund is abundant so his funeral costs are paid
Thank you.
Ada