Things Sandy Loved/What I Miss
Sandy took pleasure and joy at some simple things that she loved. Remembering seeing her reaction to and doing these things that she loved brings a smile to my face as well as tears to my eyes. I am hoping that by writing some of these down will reduce my tears and increase my smiles.
She loved to dance. It was March 7 1992 that I first saw Sandy at he Westlake Inn (a singles bar with dancing). She was dancing with this little wirery guy. She looked great with her red curly hair, blue eyes…. clearly a bonnie Irish lass. When her dance partner left to go to the rest room, I made my move, asked her to dance, she said YES, and we danced and talked ‘til the place closed down at 2 a.m. I got her phone number and we’ve been together from then until… Dancing is something we did regularly, she loved it, I miss it.
Sandy loved country music, so we went to the Longhorn Saloon in Canoga Park. There she would love to join in the line dances. I tried but am too uncoordinated to get it, always going in the wrong direction, so I mainly just watched her enjoying and having fun with that. (Speaking of always going the wrong way, I clearly have no sense of direction. When driving in an unfamiliar area, more often than not I’d make the wrong turn. It’s a bit ironic because my engineering work at Hughes was designing Guidance and Navigation systems for missiles…. God help US! Anyway, when driving, I learned to always go the direction Sandy said, because she was always right, even when she was wrong.) She did teach me the Two Step. That I could do and we both loved it. When we danced, she had a way of making me look like Fred Astaire. She made me look good, not that she led, but she could totally follow whatever I did.
When we moved to Maui, there was a break in country music. We didn’t hear much of it there. So, she got into hula dancing. She loved that too, and would break into hula dancing whenever a Hawaiian tune would come on and the spirit moved her. It was in Maui that Sandy fell in love with fused glass. It became a daily passion. Our garage became her studio. She joined the glass artist guild to participate in meetings with other Maui glass artists. She loved the yearly “Maui Opened Studio” weekend where we received glass art lovers in our studio and offered for sale pieces she created. I remember well her excitement the first time someone bought a large piece… it was a pattern bar platter in blues and white. She also joined the Lahaina Art Association and sold her work under the banyan tree. She sold her work at other venues and took pleasure in the process.
In the last year before she passed, she would play her country music and two step around the dining room as part of her exercise routine. She would dance even in the car, as a passenger, head bopping, body jiving and arms swaying. Even when she drove, she would bop and jive. I do miss seeing and being with her dancing.
Sandy loved her family and cherished whenever she got to see them, be they planned visits or impromptu. She loved it when Brian, or Jeff with Joia or one of the boys, would pop by to say hello. She loved gathering together for dinner, and would always make a speech on how pleased she was to have them all together. She would always choke up with tears of joy. She loved going over to their home and seeing all the work they’ve been going on their properties. She loved going to events where her grandchildren were performing. She so looked forward to seeing them grow up and blossom. She was not ready to leave! Besides her children and grandchildren, she was very close to her nephew Gary. They would speak on the phone almost daily, sometimes more than once. She looked forward to his calls, and would remark if a full day passed without hearing from him. She loved Gary. In the last year before passing, she also became very close to Andrea. She was so appreciative of Andrea’s help in researching her issue and how to deal with it. They too spoke almost daily. She loved Andrea. Family was very important to her. Even her fur-children as she called them. Sandy loved her dogs. They too were family. When we met there was Curly and Sidney. They have passed, Curley in Tucson and Sidney in Newburyport. In Maui, her son Brian got her Keo who moved with us here to Bend. He has also passed, and after a couple of years, we got Alfie, also with Brian’s help. Alfie is still with me. She loved all her dogs, but was particularly fond of Alfie. He helped us through COVID. She loved our walks with him in the Northwest Crossing area. He is a comfort to me now.
Of course, she loved shopping… favorite stores were Anthropology, Chico’s, and Eddie Bauer. She would always find me a chair or couch while she zoomed around the store to find treasures. She would always show me to get my opinion which usually counted, but not always. Shopping was certainly not my favorite thing, except to see her pleasure in finding something great. I never thought I would, but I do miss that.
She loved Christmas. I guess it was accentuated as adult because she didn’t have it as a kid. She loved Christmas carols, she loved Hallmark Christmas movies, even those in July. She loved giving gifts, and especially receiving them. It gave her much pleasure to give her grandchildren toys when they were young. As they got older, we switched to Amazon cards and then money. Not as much fun, but that’s what they wanted. She loved getting bobbles. I could never go wrong… well, I did once. I had given her diamond stud earrings…twice! She managed to lose them both. So, I took it as a sign, and got her CZs instead. Well, she never wore them, even once. I should have known better…. she did tell me when we first started going together that she was “high maintenance”. I should have known that CZs just would not do. But all other times, I hit homeruns!
Hallmark romance movies were definitely her favorite. She would have a whole slew of them recorded so she could see one anytime at will. That last year, I would be doing some glass fusion work to prepare for the summer fairs. I would be in the garage glass studio for maybe 45 minutes, and the phone would ring. It would be Sandy asking “Do you want to watch something?”. Of course, that “something” would be a Hallmark romance movie. And of course, I would join her. At the end of the movie, when the good guy gets the girl, she would clap. It made her happy. I miss sharing another of those with her.
Sandy loved to laugh. There were times that I would say something stupid that touched her funny bone. She would start laughing almost hysterically. It was infectious. That would get me laughing hard which would get us both laughing even harder, to the point of…. let me not say. I miss those times, those belly laughs with her.
Sandy loved soft shell crabs. When we lived in Massachusetts and occasionally visited my mother (Del) who lived in Hampton Bays on Long Island, Del would take us out for lunch at one of the local seafood restaurant. She and Sandy would always have soft shell crabs. Both would eat with gusto, thoroughly enjoying the delectable. It was nice to see them taking such pleasure.
After I retired, I became “Chief Cook”. Sandy remained “Chief Bottle Washer”. Fortunately, I enjoyed cooking. I guess I got that from my parents. Anyway, she enjoyed most things I cooked, but not all. She wouldn’t hesitate to tell me when she wasn’t fond of something I made. The things I got the strongest disapproval on were Ahi and pork chops. I seemed to overcook both more than not. But most other things she liked. even loved some. I do miss cooking for her.
There was one meal, besides pancakes which she really enjoyed making, that she absolutely loved to make. That was Thanksgiving dinner. Every Thanksgiving she would make or assign recipies that she got from her first husband’s mother, Elsa. She really enjoyed that full day of cooking, singing and dancing as she worked. It was important to her that whenever possible, her boys, their wives, and the grandchildren, came to dinner. To honor her love for the Thanksgiving meal, we will have that for lunch on April 10th, at her Celebration of Life.
Well, I have to stop this writing. There are many more things that she loved and I loved to see her take pleasure and joy in. Many simple things…like walking Alfie, holding hands, getting a cinnamon knot at Sparrows, drinking French roast coffee, chatting with her girlfriends, playing Mexican Train and Hand & Foot (but didn’t like losing), chatting with her girlfriends, cruising through World Market to find more decorative pillows, Valentine’s day, visiting Sedona,…. I miss doing those things with her. Dancing is one thing we both loved equally and which played such an important part in our life together. So, I am attaching a photo of us dancing at our wedding. I miss her so.
Her Loving Husband, “Bobby”, as she called me.
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