For a short period of time as a little kid,  Ryan was my best friend.  While in the grand scheme of life, it was a short time, but it had such a lasting impact.  He would always walk with me past the big scary dogs on the way from the bus stop to his house. One really bad day they were right on our heels barking. He just walked beside and held my hand and talked to me. We were both pretty sure we were going to get eaten that day. Im sure it wasnt nearly as dramatic as it felt. 

The last time i saw Ryan was probably during a trip home from college when i stopped by edwards. He was in the parking lot and absolutely covered in filth from head to toe. He came into hug me and I didnt care. Getting to hug him after all those years was worth getting a little dirty. 

Times have been tough lately and Ive cried over Ryan many times. Mostly what I always think of is that day he walked beside me. On my worst days I just think of him and whisper to myself, just walk beside me and hold my hand and Ill be ok again. 

I wish I could go back and talk to those 2 kids. I wish I could change so many things about the way our lives played out. I know how much he meant to me and how much I miss him and cant imagine how hard it must be for everyone close to him. Im devastated for his family and his friends. Ginny, everytime I think of him, I think of you and I hope you can feel my great big hugs wherever you are.