I'm not even sure where to start, here. This week has been a flood of emotions and memories and organizing things.

While mom dealt with lymphoma for over 4 years, and had a few rough patches where we weren't sure if she would make it, she always was in good spirits and thought she could "beat it". She never ever lived as if she would die soon. One of the last things that she said as we left for some sleep, the evening before she suddenly went downhill, was "Don't worry girls, I'll rally again! I can do it, just like before!", followed by, "Don't forget to put out the trash cans!" So, you can imagine how crushingly hard it was to find out the next morning, that she had gone very downhill through the night. She was SO with it until the end, that everything has been reeling! We knew she wouldn't live forever with lymphoma...but the sudden change in the end, has felt like a quick tragic turn of events. So, we are trying now to also see it as a gift, that she didn't wither away or lose her mental capacities or suffer in pain at all, she was always herself.

As you may know, our mom was both sweet and very strong. She raised 3 kids on her own for much of our lives. She was forever telling us what to do and helping us out, however she could & whenever needed. Two weeks before she passed, she drove to the airport for the millionth time, to pick us up as we traveled back from a trip. She used to cheerfully call herself my free airport LYFT driver...as she had made countless trips to pick me up or drop me off while traveling back and forth to Haiti or from Oregon, for work in the area.
I can never say enough, in gratitude, for the way that she provided emotional, spiritual and physical support for our family as we were living & working in Haiti as missionaries for nearly 10 years. She served as our "home base", received our mail, did banking, paid bills & did whatever other errands or tasks were needed during that time. She would even stock my little condo with groceries before I arrived to start work here at the hospital. She always encouraged us, rarely worried (or didn't show it) and gave words of encouragement. In fact, TEN years ago this very week, she even came to visit us there, to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary and to meet our youngest daughter in person, as she had just finally come into our custody a couple of months prior. It was the only international trip she ever took in her lifetime & she did it at 71 years of age!

There are just so very many things that I am ruminating on through the years. Perhaps, I'll add more when I'm ready.
I am grateful to have had her until this age. While adopting our kids from overseas, we particularly chose children who were being raised in orphanages. I often used to say..."every kid needs a mom, not just to raise them, not a perfect mom, but just someone to be their 'forever mom'" followed by... "I mean, look at me! I'm -- years old and a mom myself already, but I STILL need a mom. I still rely on her ALL the time even at this age." So, she was likely one of the many inspirations even for that life-changing philosophy that forever changed our family and brought us 6 of our 7 kids.

I hope you will share your memories here with all of us. I found this past week that I am still learning new and interesting details about our unique mama, who lived both fiercely and quietly most of the time.
Thank you for your love for her and our family during this time of grief & celebration.