Motorcycle adventures.

One of the adventures Nate and I went on riding motorcycles was mostly fun and some not so fun. Let me tell you about it.

I bought Nate his first motorcycle for his 15th birthday. We had been riding 4 wheelers a long time, but he wanted a motorcycle - and so did I - so I bought him one! It was a blue Yamaha TTR225 we bought off FaceBook marketplace used.  Many of you saw at the lake. Now - Two motorcycles are better than one, so a while later, I bought an old Suzuki DR350 for me so we could ride together. Riding at the lake is fairly limited, so we brought both motorcycles to Richmond to go ride at some places nearby.

One of those places is affectionately known as “Mud Mart” by locals. I learned about it from the guy I bought the DR350 from. It is off Forrest Hill Ave behind the Target and Publix right beside Chippenham. I think it is owned by CSX and people have been riding back there for many, many years. Lots of different terrain and some hill climbs and a LOT of mud in places - thus the nickname.

So Nate and I put the bikes in the back of his truck and head down there for a day of riding. We park by the Publix, unload the bikes and go to have fun. The DR350 is kick start only. (Nate's is electric start.) It is sometimes a hard starter. I learn very quickly that I have worn the wrong boots. They are more snow boots and the soles are soft. Not good for doing a lot of kickstarting!

We get the DR350 started and proceed to have an absolute blast for a lot of the ride. We get messy/muddy, we ride and explore and get stuck and then unstuck, climb some hills, do some jumps, fall over, get back up. We ride in sand and gravel and mud and hard pack dirt. We don’t see many people (it is bigger than you think back there!). I can still picture us with big, wide-eyed grins on our faces as we ride around and explore having a blast together.

The DR350 becomes a bit of a pain and my foot is killing me from the constant kickstarting and after a few hours, we are getting tired and heading back to the truck when the real adventure begins.

Nate’s motorcycle drops the chain (not unusual or a big deal) and the chain wedges itself between the sprocket and wheel. REALLY wedges itself. We can’t get it out after fiddling with it for 5-10 minutes.

Murphy’s law has us pretty far from the truck at this point with his bike immovable. The chain is wedged in a place where its preventing the rear wheel from turning.

Off I go to the truck on the DR350 to grab the tool kit. Back I ride to find Nate. I have to balance the tool kit in my lap (no lie – we didn’t even bring a backpack). I manage to only drop the tool kit once on the way back to Nate.

Back with Nate, we fiddle and pry and fiddle and pry and we can’t get the chain freed. We are tired, pissed off and a good way from the truck or any help. After debating for a few minutes about whether to leave the bike and come back with more help/more serious tools, whether to try to push the bike the mile or more to the truck (which included a stream crossing and a long uphill), we get the idea to “tow” it with the DR350. (Why not? Now, don’t ask silly questions about how we will do that with a wheel locked up. That was what our (admittedly maybe not thinking straight) brains full of ingenuity were for!)

Off I go back to the truck to get some rope and tow straps. Back I ride to Nate with this the stuff tucked into my shirt. Our idea is that if we tow the bike hard enough, the knobs on the tire will produce enough force to make the wheel turn despite the chain being wedged. We figured if we were lucky, it would even spit the chain out from where it was wedged. So, we tie the straps to the handlebars of Nate’s bike and…and…and realize there is not anywhere you can tie a tow rope to the back of my bike. So – we tie it to me. Low around my waist so my hips can take the strain (vs my gut). We have to go slow because Nate has to walk next to his bike to keep it upright.

We begin to tow the bike. Its working! The rear wheel is dragging but with the power of the DR350 and loose/muddy/dirt terrain, it just drags along. It’s all going ok until we get to where we have to go through a small ravine with a very small stream at the bottom of it. It is our last real obstacle before a slow, long uphill to the parking area. The ravine is probably 10 feet down on the way in and 10 feet up the other side. The opposite side of the bank of the stream is fairly steep. Much steeper than the way in. We stop and rest and talk and plan. “How the hell are we going to do this!?” I remember thinking to myself. Of course, I don’t say that to Nate – I knew it would be discouraging, and he was already surprised my plan was working to tow it this way. However, I am genuinely concerned we won’t be able to get up the bank on the other side of the stream.

After some discussion, we form our plan. We would start at the top of the ravine, we would go down it and through the stream as fast as we could with the hopes that momentum would carry me and Nate’s bike in tow up the other side. We decide that if Nate can’t keep up and has to let go, the worst that would happen is his bike falls over and jerks me off my bike. Not the end of the world at the speed I would be going – I have fallen off a dirt bike many times (fortunately almost all of them at slow speeds) and had already fallen many times this day.

I’m at the top of the ravine. Nate’s ready about 6-8 feet behind me. I’m ready. Let’s Go!

Down I go, through the stream, and start up the other side. I can only hear the motorcycle, my breathing, and Nate’s boots clomping down the trail behind me. I hear the splash through the stream and now I am on the way up and really juicing the throttle as I am towing a 200+ pound motorcycle with a rear wheel jammed and not turning. I come up out of the ravine much easier than I expected and stop immediately because Nate’s motorcycle indeed falls over as it comes to the top of the ravine without Nate beside it to balance it.

Turns out two things happened: 1) Nate lost his footing in the stream and fell over immediately after the stream and 2) somewhere between the top of the other side and the stream, the chain broke and allowed the rear wheel of Nate’s bike to begin spinning again!

As Nate crawled up out of the ravine, he was grinning again! We were both giddy that it had worked and we got through the ravine/stream. “YES Dad!” he yelled.

YES NATE! My crazy adventure buddy. We had so many more adventures to go on…

I miss you Nate Baker! Even though you would be at school right now and we wouldn’t talk every day. I miss you. Every. Single. Day.

When I think of Nate, a lot of stories about Lake Anna come to mind, because that’s one of the places where I first started making memories with Nate. I just wanted to share some simple things from that. 

Wakesurfing. I was not good at wakesurfing, and even though I could/can manage, I still was/am not the best. It would really frustrate me trying to learn it, because I wanted to pick it up easily, although I recognized it was fun no matter how good I was at the same time. After times of struggling to get up on the board when the boat would take off, I’d often look into the boat and, just like I would hear and see from his dad who was driving the boat, I would get words of encouragement and see smiles from Nate. He just wanted to see me succeed! Just little things I think about that mattered a whole lot in the moment. This moment for me is representative of how Nate was in his relationships… wanting to see the best out of his friends/family as possible. I think Nate would made not a bad motivational speaker, as well 😂.

While we’re on the topic of the Lake, something that also comes to mind is “Krispy Krunchy Chicken”. This would be served at the gas station nearest the Baker’s Lake Anna house. They would serve a whole platter of gas station fried chicken or chicken strips that, somehow, ended up being the best chicken you’ve ever had. I just remember how random it seemed to me that we were leaving the house on a nice lake day, driving 10 min to a gas station to pick up gas station chicken, and making a big deal about it being the best thing ever. But I would come to find the whole thing awesome. And I’m bringing this up because I know how much Nate loved getting that chicken from that gas station. He was the one to drive there, pick it up, bring it down to everyone. That Krispy Krunchy Chicken made his heart happy, fueled the soul 😂. If you’re buddies with Nate and have been to Lake Anna with him, I’m sure you’ve had Krispy Krunchy Chicken at least once — and can relate.

Mullet Boy. Any of you think of that as a compliment?

We were at the lake one weekend several years ago. We were doing our normal thing of going out in the boat to tube and surf and float and just generally have a wonderful time. As part of that, we go in and out of our cove several times a day. Our cove is long and it’s all “no wake” so we just idle along, talk and wave to our neighbors in the cove as we go. It is really hard to not be in a good mood on the lake (or any water IMO). So everyone waves back and says hello. Everyone is smiling and happy in general. So basically, Nate attitude is prevalent.

So we do this several times a day over the weekend. You do the same thing on the jet ski and Nate loves to ride it and takes several rides during the weekend. Almost anytime we do this on the boat, Nate is helping get stuff ready - tubes, ropes, boards, etc. He’s standing up and moving around the boat getting stuff ready as I idle us out of the cove and make sure swimmers know we are coming and move out of the way and keep us on track. Nate loves helping and he is doing the work he loves on the boat.

One of the houses on the way out of our cove is a rental house. It holds several families so groups are there a lot. This particular weekend, there is a group in it and they have five or six young girls in the group.  They are probably between Emily Grace and Nate’s age the best I can guess. Hard to tell but let’s go with that. So we do our normal thing of smiling and waving as we go by - and they smile and wave back pretty much all the time. I mean, you have to pay attention to the boats coming by because the cove isn’t super wide there and everyone pays attention once they know a boat is coming by.

“Normal” lake weekend - thank you Lord for our many blessings! On our way out for the weekend, we grab the mail out of the mailbox. It’s only junk mail up there and we empty the mailbox most times we go up. Well this time, it’s normal junk mail and then something not junk mail. There is a neatly folded up piece of paper - like from a notebook or something. Leslie unfolds it. It is a handwritten note. A handwritten note that says something to the effect:

“Hey Mullet Boy. We were watching you all weekend and I would love to see you some more. Hit me up and follow me - my Insta is xyz”.

We just about fell out of the car laughing as we roared! I remember looking at Nate and he has a smirk on his face as he isn’t sure whether Leslie is messing with him or not. He’s smiling and saying “Wait what?! Are you kidding me mom?! Those girls were like 10! No way!” (Can you hear him? I can!)

Mullet Boy. Nate was and always will be our Mullet Boy. I was Nate’s barber for most of his mullet cuts. I can’t even begin to explain how much I would love to have Nate in a chair here with me to give him another mullet trim.

God I miss you Nate. I love you now and forever.

Swimming Pool. Who doesn't love a nice cool swimming pool on a hot summer day?

It was a hot day in June, 2021. Nate and his buddies wanted to hang out at someone's pool, but they also wanted to cruise around and see friends. What are they to do? It's hard to do everything you want in a day sometimes. Well, Nate and his buddies combined the two!

Nate purchased a mini pool that would fit in the back of a truck. I don't recall if it was purpose built for a truck bed or if that is how they used it but Nate and his buddies put a mini swimming pool in the back of his truck. I say his truck. I am not sure whether it was his truck or Scott's truck but that's only part of the story. (Update: It was Scott's truck!)

The boys then filled it with water and proceeded to ride around the short pump area IN the pool, IN the back of the truck. They even went to Chic-Fil-A and went through the drive through. Of course they did! Why wouldn't you do that? Gave those drive through workers something to laugh and talk about. As part of the fun, Nate even wore a snorkel mask at times because...because...because I don't know why! I can only assume it's because he thought that would make people smile and laugh as they passed by.

Rumor has it they pulled up next to a police man at a traffic light. When that happened, they all ducked down low and laid in the pool hoping the cop wouldn't see them.  However, the cop rolled down his window and said to the boys with a smile: "Keep off the highway and go slow boys!". I don't know how things like this happened for Nate.  I am quite sure I would have been pulled over and arrested as a teen for doing something like this but Nate? He gets a smile and a "be careful" from the police.

So these knucklehead high-schoolers, drove around visiting friends laughing and hanging out in the pool in the bed of a truck. I can't say that I even know who all was involved.  I have photo evidence of Nate, Gage and I talked to Scott - I think he drove the truck. I believe Logan was picked up at some point too.

We had that pool in our Richmond garage for years afterward. I think it was only used that one time. I am pretty sure I made Nate take the pool to USC with him else I was going to throw it away. Maybe its at the house in Columbia? Any of you Columbia Fiji's have that pool?

I only have one photo from that event and will post it. Any other friends have pics of that fine day?

Hope you have a gigantic, cool, truck bed swimming pool visiting all your friends and relatives up there Nate!

I love you and miss you Nate Baker!

Cherry Bomb. What does that elicit in your mind's eye? Well, for Nate, I bet it was different, and I can tell you why.

Everyone who knew Nate, knew he loved his truck. Heck, I love his truck, and I can't wait to get it back home to sit in, drive and feel connected to him in it. Anyway, he had all kinds of things he did to it to make it "perfect". One of the things he wanted to do early on was to cut out the muffler and put a "cherry bomb" muffler on it. If you haven't heard of them, you need to look them up! Their tag line is "Disturbing the peace since 1968." How cool is that!? You might know them as glasspack also. Any way you look at them, they are a louder than stock muffler that makes a V8 sound sweet!

Well, Nate was an aficionado of truck exhaust sounds, and he wanted to put a cherry bomb on his truck. Being that I love the sound of a good V8 myself, I was all in. I just had to convince Leslie it wouldn't be obnoxiously loud. I think I told her it would be beautifully loud! Not quiet, but not "stupid annoying the neighbors will hate him" loud. She bought it.

Christmas was coming up I bought Nate a cherry bomb muffler. He was excited and it couldn't have been a week, and he was begging me to help him install it. So out to the garage we went. We brought the truck in the garage, crawled under it, measured to make sure we cut in the right place and proceeded to cut out the stock muffler with a grinding wheel. We were both excited as sparks flew everywhere (we were wearing protective gear and goggles) as we cut out the old muffler. Before we put in the Cherry Bomb, we had to start up the truck and rev it with no muffler and straight piped. "Shit eating grin". If you look up the definition of that, I think that is what we both looked like as he revved the engine with no muffler. I was so loud that it was hardly even pleasant, but we did it anyway and grinned the whole time.

After a minute of that mischief (Leslie may or may not have come into the garage and asked us to stop), we installed the Cherry Bomb.

Then we started it up again and listened with anticipation. It sounded sweet! A good low rumble at idle and just a little bite when you revved it a little. I think it's quite close to perfect and so did Nate.

From that day forward, we could always identify Nate was home as he drove in front of our house due to the distinct low rumble. I will look forward to that rumble every time I start his truck now!

Nate, now your rumble will have to be the thunder of storms. We will keep the cherry bomb making its delightful rumble for you down here!

I love you and miss you Nate!

Backboard. Many have heard the backboard story but we have never written it down and it is worthy of bring written.

Nate made the volleyball team his junior year at Deep Run. Leslie and I were at the parent meeting in the library with the head coach and all the other parents. We were getting the normal run down of expectations, rules, etc. We had been through it several years already as Grant played volleyball for the same team for several years.

In walks the JV coach and goes up to Head Coach Kevin Pond and talks very quietly to him for a few seconds and Pond’s face goes to frustration as he drops his head. “Uh Oh, what happened?” asks a parent. “Nothing, just kids being stupid.” Is his comment. Wise Dan says “Oh I feel sorry for that kid tonight!” Or some comment similar to that. Leslie was embarrassed I opened my mouth.

We finish the meeting and all head home as coach heads back to practice. Nate comes home a couple hours later after practice and he is acting weird. He finally opens up and tells us, “There is something I need to tell you. I tossed a pebble at the basket at practice and it broke the backboard.”

Leslie and I were puzzled and asked him to share more as we were confused. As it turns out, the wrestling or football team had left a rock in the auxiliary gym. A rock half the size of a golf ball maybe. Nate picked it up and tossed it underhand at the basketball rim to try to “make a shot”. The rock hit the backboard in the perfect location/angle so as to cause the entire thing to shatter. Fortunately, no glass fell on anyone or anything. It all just stayed put, but it was ruined and cracks permeated all through it like a glass spiderweb. (The AD told me a week later that he had watched the film of it from the gym camera. He had to in order to make sure it wasn’t malicious. He told me Nate tossed the rock gently underhand and when it hit the backboard, it simply shattered. He said Nate froze with his tossing hand in the air still and his shoulders dropped a little as he saw what happened.)

You can’t just go buy a new backboard and put it up. At least not one for a high school gym. They had to close down the gym for fear of glass falling on people/kids. Then they had to take down all the old glass - a not fun job the janitors were tasked with. Nate asked to help them but they couldn't allow that due to liability. Then they had to put up a new backboard. Come to find out, very few companies are qualified to do that. We told the school we would pay for the new backboard.  Total Cost including installation by that qualified company: ~$2.5k as I recall.  It wasn’t cheap.

Leslie (the wise and incredible mom she is) made Nate write letters of apology to all the janitorial staff and had him help her bake some cookies that Nate brought to them. Of course this made Nate become friends with the janitors - he would wave and say hi to them every time he saw them.

Funny sidetrack: I played basketball at DRHS every Sunday for years. One time the main gym was closed due to prepping it for a big event Monday. In our group text, one of the guys asked if we could play in the aux gym since the main gym was closed. “Some stupid kid broke the backboard” was the response from the lead of the group! I had to tell them all that said “stupid kid” was my son, Nate!!

Fortunately for us, the high school treated our payment as a donation so at least we got the tax write off for purchasing and having a new backboard installed! Ha ha

Keep taking those shots up there Nate!

We love you and miss you!

Hunting. Nate loved hunting. Those that know me know that I don’t hunt. So how did Nate learn to hunt you ask?

The answer, some people Leslie and I trust a great deal taught him! His cousin Chase, Chase’s grandfather (Carmen’s father) and Jeremy (and his son Gage) Gunderson are some of the people we trusted to teach Nate how to hunt safely and properly. I had been to shoot guns with Nate and made sure we focused heavily on safety and he learned how to handle them properly, but I am not a hunter.

One of the first times Nate went hunting was with cousin Chase and Chase’s grandfather at a hunting club outside Charlotte, NC.  We were visiting Ryan, Carmen and Chase and Chase was going hunting with his grandfather. They invited Nate to come with them and Nate was EXCITED to go. So they got up before sunrise and headed out to the hunting club.

At the hunting club, Nate met some of the other folks. All different shapes, sizes and accents as I recall (Nate telling about them was pure entertainment. You know Nate, he met most of them and talked them up to learn about them. He loved every minute of getting to know them.) On this day, they were hunting with dogs. I think it was Nate’s first time with dogs.

Well, during the course of the hunt, one of the dogs had gone way off track and was basically lost. They all have collars on that allow them to be tracked for this very reason. So off Nate and Chase went after this dog. Well, the dog has somehow in the middle of a swamp.  As Chase and Nate tracked it, they were wading through shin and knee deep muck and water. They were wading through pricker bushes. they even had to use their guns to whack and clear a path through the prickers at some point. They were basically bushwhacking through a swamp to get to the dog. They were tired, uncomfortable and a mess. The dog was barking and making a racket as they got closer to it. Little did they know, it had cornered a wild boar. As they got closer and realized there was a large wild boar, it turned and charged straight at Chase. Panic. I think what Nate felt was panic! As the boar charged Chase, he raised his shotgun and shot it! The boar dropped dead. Chase and Nate had to restart their hearts and gather the dog. It was all enough to give Nate a migraine. Yep, a migraine hit him while in the swamp trying to find a dog while a wild boar charged at Chase.

They trudged back to the meeting point/truck with dog in tow. Unfortunately, with the swamp and terrain, they could not bring out the boar.  Nate was throwing up by the time they got into the truck to ride home.

So for one of his very first hunting adventures, that didn’t sound like a lot of fun to Leslie and I. However, for Nate, that was excitement and joy and he wanted to do it again - despite finishing it off with a migraine that hurts so bad it causes vomiting!

Nate - he was pretty difficult to hold back from an adventure and often times he was the one leading it.

Nate - I hope your adventure up there is more fun and more exciting and more full of joy than any of us can possibly imagine!

We love and miss you terribly down here.

How many of you know that Nate was a duly ordained minister of the American Marriage Ministries!!??

Here’s the story Leslie and I know.

Nate calls us up one day and he is excited about an upcoming Fiji party.  As I recall, it was a mixer with a sorority and the theme was something to do with weddings. (I would love a Fiji brother to put a comment with the event name or what was being planned to happen!).

Anyway, Nate is excited about the party and as part of the celebration or showcase of it all, people were going to get pretend married. Forgive me but the details are a little fuzzy/shady as there were constant Fraternity events and they don’t all stick out.  Nate was always telling us about events coming up that he was looking forward too. Well this event, there was going to be “fake” weddings.

He told us as part of the fun, he had applied online to be a minister. “A what?!” Leslie and I asked. “A minister.” Nate answered. I remember Leslie and I looking at each other with serious skepticism on our faces.  I think I said something to the effect “Nate, you can’t just apply to become a minister and become one.” His answer was that was kind of funny because he had already done it online.

Online? Minister?  Nate, I think you just got taken. Check your bank account for fraudulent charges.  I will check the credit card. This is ridiculous. I think that is what I told him. I could see his smile through the phone as we bantered and he told me it was legit and he had applied and it was going to be fun.

Fast forward a few days and we get a text from Nate. It’s a photo.  It is a photo of a piece of paper with a big gold seal on it. Lo and behold, it’s his “ordained minister of marriage” certificate! Leslie and I laughed right out loud.  It seemed absurd but right there was a gen-u-wine certificate.

We called him immediately and had a great laugh and discussion. We had no idea this was possible. We started brainstorming and laughing and came to a couple conclusions with him on the phone:

1) He definitely should not “fake marry” anyone!  Now that he was a genuine, certified, minister of marriage, there was no pretending!

2) I thought he should start advertising to be the minister in extreme weddings!! We discussed it

- You want to get married while scuba diving? Nate is your minister to call!

- You want to get married while skydiving? Call Nate!

- You want to get married at the top of Grand Teton? Nate is your guy!

- You want to get married surfing and catching a wave? Hang loose with Nate!

We thought of all kind of fun scenarios Nate could travel too. He would charge a pittance for his services - all you had to do is pay to get him there on the adventure. We even thought of some names: Nate’s Adventure Weddings, Adrenaline junky weddings by Nate, The Minister of Adrenaline Nate Baker.

We laughed and talked and had a great time thinking of a bunch of wacky ideas. The conversation around the certificate was great fun like most ideas coming from Nate.

Lest you think I am kidding, I have attached the photo he sent of his certificate.  We will definitely be looking for it in his room when we return to Columbia!

I miss you and Love you Nate Baker! You should do a “re-marry” ceremony with Bammy and Bampy up there!

Learning. Nate loved learning - learning about how stuff worked, how to fix things but also he liked learning new skills.

Once Nate learned to fix small engines and had his business rolling mowing lawns and repairing small engines, he didn’t like to sit still. So as fall and winter of 2021 rolled around and there were no lawns to mow and no engines to fix, Nate turned his attention to something new.

I remember him telling me one day that he wanted a welder. “It would be so cool to be able to weld stuff and fix things that need to be welded!” He told me. Now, as a mechanical engineer, I knew how to fix a lot of stuff and taught him a lot about engines. However, I do not know how to weld. My experience with welding is from my senior year project at USC when we built a 4 wheel drive amphibious dune buggy. We did have to weld the frame together for that project but we did that with heavy supervision and it wasn’t a lot of welding and it was 30 years ago! That was literally my only experience. (I remember you had to wear long sleeves as part of the protective gear else it would give you terrible sun burn!).

I was a little intimidated by welding. You can hurt yourself and/or set stuff on fire by accident! You know who was not intimidated? NATE! He wanted to learn, it was winter and we had my side of the garage largely empty since few small engines need repair in the winter. After some discussion and convincing from him, I told him if he bought the safety gear, I would buy a welder (or maybe it was the other way around but the safety gear was a must). Off we went to Harbor Freight and back home we came with a portable welder, apron, welding helmet, welding gloves and an extra spool of welding wire. After clearing out some space on the work bench and shielding some stuff nearby to ensure we didn’t start a fire, Nate was ready to go.

Welding is not a 2 person job nor a spectator sport. Given the intense light that can burn your retinas and cause permanent damage, you don’t want to be around someone welding unless you are also in a welders helmet. A welders helmet has a visor so dark that in normal light, it appears opaque - you can’t see anything until the intense light of the arc starts up. That and the fact that sparks of molten metal occasionally fly means you don’t want to be near a person welding. Well, Nate had watched some YouTube videos and prepped himself. So I asked a few questions, made sure he had his safety gear on, made sure he knew what to do if something went wrong - and I went inside the house. I must say I was a little anxious but Nate had figured out a lot of stuff and he was very excited about trying welding.

I remember a few of the nights the first few days. He was in the garage almost every night messing around welding things. I would come into the garage and he would be over with his shield down with the intense light from the welder shining on him and sparks flying around. Some of the sparks were large enough pieces of molten metal that they melted holes in the dense foam flooring I had right in front of the bench!

On the workbench where we had the welder, there was also a huge tray of miscellaneous bolts, nuts, screws, washers and other assorted small metal parts. It was Bampy’s and when he passed away, I grabbed it because it reminded me of him because I was in the garage with him a lot and that’s the tray we would grab the odd bolt or nut out of to fix things. Nate was messing around welding screws and nuts and bolts together from that tray. He was honing his ability to do it well and with some precision.

Then he started getting serious about welding pieces and parts together. He started creating pieces of art. Incredible pieces of art! Some of the things he made are so cool! Butterfly, motorcycle, helicopter, a L-O-V-E piece of art and the list went on. He even made a really cool rose out of a ton of washers that he carefully arranged as he welded. Bella has that in Columbia as I type this. Some of it was amazing and all of it was creative. He was just “messing around” learning a new thing.

He even told us at one point that he wanted to be an “Under water welder” as a career. He thought that would be so cool and pay well. I always reminded him it pays well due to the extreme risk but if that’s what he really wanted to pursue, he needs to find out a lot more about it and how to get trained.

That was our Nate. He didn’t want to sit inside and watch TV or read. He wanted to learn and do things.

I will post a photo of some of his welded art. I love you and miss you Nate Baker!

Today I wanted to share my eulogy from the Columbia memorial service. I wrote it as I reflected on the stories and memories all the people around us were telling us in those first couple of really raw days. I think all of us were in shock and Leslie and I were helped so much by being around so many people that loved Nate. A bunch of his Fiji fraternity brothers, his “Bates Boys” from freshmen year that he had developed strong friendships with, even some high school friends and close parents that made the trip to Columbia despite knowing we would do another celebration in Richmond. The healing began immediately around that group and I tried to capture Nate’s spirit and what I was hearing and seeing around us.

I will remind us all: There is hope! Nate’s light is all around us and carried by you and me!

Here is my eulogy from Rutledge Chapel at USC:

Nate could walk into a room with 10 people and spend 15 minutes in there. When he left, they would all have a story to tell about a guy they met that day. 4 would think he’s an entrepreneur 2 would think he’s a welder, 2 would think he’s a hunting & fishing guide and 2 would think that he’s a mechanic. Every one of them would have enjoyed the conversation and taken something away from meeting him. Every one of them would want to spend more time around him.

Think about some of the things they would say and how their sentences would start.

Every one of them would tell someone “I met this guy today…”.

- full of passion for…

- Full of love for…

- Offered to help me with…

- He wanted to learn all about

- He told me about a mistake he made that he had to take accountability for (somehow he made it humorous)…

- He asked for my advice about..

- He wouldn’t stop smiling and it made me smile…

- He had the best attitude…

Nate was a special soul for sure but think about those phrases. Repeat them.

We can all emulate those things. They aren’t secrets or hidden.

I like to think that they all would know he had a family that loved him dearly and taught him to love others just as dearly.

They would probably know he had a mom that never rested and raised him right.

Nate had figured out a lot of things in life already. A couple small examples: he had learned that helping others and acts of kindness can fill your soul and have impacts that last a lifetime. He had learned that you can’t control events around you but you can control your attitude about them and what you chose to focus on. I think he even figured out he could give his entire heart to someone yet still have room to love his friends and family. He was caring, kind and supportive. Even to people he just met. He didn’t know what a stranger was. He had learned that humor could heal and soften a soul.

He was a son most would dream of having and I can’t believe that Leslie and I managed to make Grant and Emily Grace too. We somehow got 3 dream kids.

We don’t know why god wanted Nate so soon. Maybe his moped or stereo needed someone to fix it? Maybe he was running short on smiles to light up a room? Maybe things were getting boring in heaven and he wanted someone to liven it up. We won’t know until our last day.

Now I ask all of us to help fill in for Nate. Be kind, be helpful, be loving, be supportive, learn and try new things.

I love you Nate Baker!  I miss you every day!

Creativity. 

Nate's creativity started really early.  For him it was building things from his imagination. He LOVED legos and built all kinds of stuff with those (another story) but nothing prepped us for his creativity that came in May of 2009.

Neither Leslie nor I remember exactly what the spark was - a school project, show and tell or him just wanting to show off. However, he started asking us for toilet paper roll tubes, paper towel tubes, cereal boxes, tape and aluminum foil.  Aluminum foil?! Most of those things are not unusual for school age kids as they do use those things in art class and for various things like that. But the aluminum foil was a new one for us.  What did he want aluminum foil for?

Nate wanted those things to build a "Nate Robot". No kidding.  Nate was 6 years old and he wanted to build a robot. I don't think he modeled after anything he had seen.  Back then, nobody had a phone and access to all the imagery on the internet like we have today.  Maybe he saw one on a TV show or cartoon he watched.  Whatever the spark was, his imagination created the vision and he built.

So he gathered those things and built one. How much help did he have from us? None. The robot was as big as him.  Literally.  Take a look at the photos and you can see for yourself.  I am still amazed to this day. He would carry it around the house to show it off.  He did take it to school one day also. Maybe some of his classmates can enlighten us whether it was for show and tell or a project or something at school.  I don't think the other kids at school built one but who knows?

We had the robot for a long time - I think it was under his bed. The tape eventually gave up and it started falling apart.  He was older and didn't care about it anymore so we threw it all away eventually. However, we have the pics and there is home video of it too!

Nate's creativity didn't end there.  I have other stories about legos, welding, and more!

I hope God has some good scraps up there Nate! I am sure you are building something cool with them!

I love you and miss you Nate Baker!

Skiing. Nate loved being on the snow! I want to tell you the story about the day Nate learned to ski.

I have been skiing since I was five years old. I learned early and grew up skiing with my dad, Bampy, and my brother, Steve and we have dozens of incredible trips and stories from skiing together. I wanted to create the same thing with my kids!

I decided it was time in the winter of 2008. We were fortunate in that Bampy lived in Charlottesville and skied at Wintergreen all the time. So I made reservations - lift tickets, a lesson for the boys, and rental equipment for the big day - March 17th 2008. Nate was only 3 (he would turn 4 two days later) and grant was 5! I think we spent the night at Bammy and Bampy's house in Charlottesville and headed to the slopes in the morning. Regardless we all arrived and went through the rental gear process. Fitting boots on three and five year olds is a lot of fun – ha ha! When we were set with gear off we went to the slopes and the lesson.

I remember two things from the lesson: “French Fries” and “Pizza Wedge”. After all, what kid doesn't love those things! French fries was putting your skis parallel to go, and pizza wedge was making a wedge with them to slow down or stop. I wonder if Grant remembers anything else from that lesson? Having my dad there was really special. We only got to have 3 generations of Baker’s on the slopes at the same time for a short period as he got sick with dementia/Alzheimer’s soon after that.

We spent the rest of the morning going down the bunny hill. Sliding down the hill on the snow and riding the lift up. I think Nate may have liked the lift ride better than skiing at the time. It was like magic - being up in the air with a bird’s eye view and being whisked back up the hill to start again. My goal for the day: get Nate and Grant on skis and enjoying it so they wanted to do it more.

Mission Accomplished!

Since that day I think I've skied with the boys more than 40 days over the years we have skied at so many places – Wintergreen, Homestead (yes they have a ski hill!), Snowshoe, Timberline several trips to Utah – Solitude, Snowbird, Brighton, Park City, The Canyons (now part of Park City)! Incredible memories.

Most of those, Nate wasn’t actually skiing. It wasn’t long after learning to ski that Nate wanted to try snowboarding. Of course, we had to do that! Another story.

I hope the snow is light and deep up there Nate! I miss you and love you!