Thinking about you today Nate. Love and miss you .❤️❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻 

Love to the Baker family ❤️

Have you ever yearned for something?   Maybe you remember that yearning you had early in your relationship with your spouse or a girlfriend/boyfriend?  When you wanted to spend every second of every day with that person.  Maybe you yearn for home and being with your family and to drive the streets you grew up on.  Maybe you yearn for the day you won’t have to work anymore and can retire. Or for recognition or a promotion at work. 

We all yearn for things from time to time.

I want to tell you that every yearning I have experienced in my life - they absolutely pale in comparison to the yearning I feel for Nate.  There are moments where it is instantaneous and so powerful that I gasp and tears flood my eyes in a split second.  There is no prepping for it. There is no anticipation.  Before I even realize it's there, a wave of yearning washes over me and my eyes are welled up.  Like the floor drops out.  It is hard to describe. I think it may be the single most powerful emotion I have felt in my entire life.  

I remember being overpowered with emotions when each of the kids were born.  I was amazed and filled with joy, wonder and love when Leslie brought each into this world.  Maybe even a little pride mixed in - proud of Leslie and what we had been blessed with (good pride if you know what I mean). The emotions when the kids succeed at something they have desired - a sport, a grade, a skill. They are powerful, wonderful emotions.  Again, they aren't as powerful as the yearning that crashes into me on random occasions now.  These are whole body experiences.  Like every nerve cries out and my heart aches and my head feels full.  It almost knocks me off my feet sometimes and I can’t breathe for a moment.

“A normal part of the grief journey” is what I have learned. Describing it as normal does not feel right. However, there are many things on this journey that don’t feel right.  They feel downright awful. They feel empty. They feel awkward, painful and disorienting. All normal unfortunately.

The strange part? Perhaps the most bizarre part is that they also feel cathartic. You may hear the descriptions and think how dreadful!  Well, I don’t know why but I don’t fear the moments of yearning at all. I don’t fear the crying or feeling of despair. I embrace them as best I can.  I let them happen and wash over me. The release can make me a little despondent for a few minutes after.  It’s like all my energy was just expended in those moments and there is nothing left. Is that what actually happens?  My emotional tank - which is normally large and full - completely empties in a few moments. 

Today, I may get several of these.  As I said, they are unpredictable.  It’s ok.  I’ll let them happen and I know those around me will give me grace.

Why? I will be around a lot of people who also loved our Nate.  That is a good place to be. They will be with us as we are unveil Nate's memorial bench in Strom Thurmond Wellness & Fitness center at USC at 3pm. It is in the building, immediately after the main entrance kiosks where kids scan their IDs.

I miss you everyday Nate.  I yearn to see you again.  Like others can only imagine. I yearn to give you a hug. A wonderful, long hug.

Nate was always a super sleuth, trying to solve mysteries and perform magic tricks when he was younger and as he grew older, the mysteries translated into solving other, more important problems: the broken down lawn mower needed in order to keep making money, the broken down janky golf cart needed for pandemic entertainment, and in general the problems and concerns in our community that he would over hear us adults talking about or see for himself once he joined the community facebook pages.

Recently, as I was looking through some old memories, I came across this one. I can't remember the exact timeline but it was close to the third or fourth grade given the style of Nate's hair. We had just gotten a new camcorder and Nate liked to record things. Sometimes it was gameshows he and Grant would make up with their stuffed animals, and other times it was for "real" purposes. 

Some years back there was a car that was going around neighborhoods trying to lure kids to their cars. I love our community because when this sort of thing happens, it's like a forcefield is created and everyone does their part to help "solve" the problem. As parents, we thought it was important that Grant and Nate knew about this because they were often standing at the bus stop, waiting. And so, as I began looking through this video it all came back to me. I laughed at the empowerment Nate got from operating the camcorder, especially when he flipped the camera to see his own smiling face. This video also reminded me of how Nate could move from humor to seriousness as any situation may require in split seconds.

We hope you this will give you a Happy New Year laugh! We love you Nate, and we miss your silly sounds, and your "sleuthfulness" to solving major problems. Happy New Year in heaven Nate Dawg! Miss you daily!

http://share.imemories.com/pu…

I know I have written a couple of stories about Nate’s truck. About the horn and the cherry bomb muffler for sure. Think I even wrote about the Rough Country Leveling Kit Nate asked for and received for Christmas. But I think I only told half the story.

You see, a truck normally comes standard from the factory with the rear of the truck a little higher than the front. That’s because the truck bed is designed to be able to carry heavy stuff that compresses the rear suspension. So they have to make the rear suspension stiff and strong and that makes it ride high when nothing is in the truck - which is the vast majority of the time for trucks these days. A truck that runs around with the tail high/nose low? Nate didn’t like that, so he asked for a "leveling kit" for Christmas and - lo and behold - he got the one he asked for from a company called Rough Country (lucky boy!).

Nate tackled putting on the front leveling kit himself with the help of a friend in the garage (I think that story is in here somewhere!). Well, Nate's leveling kit doesn’t just level the truck, it actually raises the entire truck an inch or two. So now Nate has his truck with only the front portion of that kit on the truck. The result? His truck is now sitting a little nose high! It took them hours to put on the front kit (and there were some struggles I hear), so he was in no mood to tackle the rear portion of the leveling kit that day. His truck actually looked squatted a little bit and Nate decides to leave it for the time being and drives around his truck slightly squatted for the next several weeks. “Dad, It’s not quite a Carolina Squat” he tells me with a grin every time I tell him it looks kind of janky (Carolina Squat is a term I learned from Nate - look it up and you can learn too!). “The front was a pain in the butt, and I am dreading doing the rear" he tells me time and again.

After a few weeks (maybe several months even?) of looking at his truck, I had enough and convince him we are going to tackle finishing the leveling together. So that weekend, we move Leslie’s car out of the garage and pull in his truck and take on the challenge. We had done some research and concluded the rear was easier than the front - as long as you have an impact wrench to get the potentially rusted bolts off. Fortunately, we had one of those.

So there we were in the garage with the rear axle jacked up and resting on jack stands and the leaf springs unbolted and the blocks from the kit put in under the axle U bolts (the ones that raise the rear 1.5-2 inches to match the already raised front). As we are manipulating stuff trying to get some things to line up and back together, it seems the rear axle is moving rearward ever so slightly. I think out loud "Uh oh, not sure why that is" and I get an instant of anxiety as I worry the rear axle alignment is going to get messed up. Then I get full on panic as I realize it isn’t just the axle moving - it is the entire truck moving backwards! “Nate we didn’t block it!” I shout as we both jump up to grab wheel chocks. We forgot to block the front wheels! We scurry to block them immediately.

There we are staring at each other wide eyed and hearts racing. You see, with the rear axle in the air, the parking brake does nothing to hold the truck still. You want to talk about a rookie mistake? You always block the wheels when you are going to jack any part of a car up in the air - ALWAYS! Turns out as we were pushing and pulling on stuff to get things aligned for bolting back together, we were literally moving the whole truck a tiny bit at a time. That could have ended badly and we both knew it.

Now with our moods shifted from light-hearted fun, we finished the job with a “holy cow, what idiots we were!” Feeling and talking about how dumb that was to forget that.

We bolted everything back up and then went about adjusting the front torsion bars to perfect the leveling. Then and only then, we sat back and admired our work of Nate’s 2002 Chevy Silverado 1500 perfectly leveled. Nate smiling that smile and me feeling proud and excited that we had tackled it together and liked the result.

So we didn’t learn a lesson the hard way this time. However, I can tell you that I won’t forget the panic I felt when I realized we hadn’t blocked the tires! Let’s call it a “Learn it the scary way” for this one.

We still have Nate’s truck. I think I will have it forever - at least until the frame brakes in half! It still looks awesome and is parked in front of the house. Nate turned it into such a nice truck that a guy stopped by the house over the summer as I was working outside. He asked me if he could buy it! I didn’t tell him why but I told him I would likely never sell the truck.

Another tidbit for you - Leslie drove the truck to a line dancing evening the other day. She met the ladies from her tap dance class for a night of line dancing. You can’t put a price on that…

Nate, I love you and miss you every day. Hope you have a nice truck up there riding around in some mud and woods. Rather, I bet you are tooling through some neighborhoods helping random people you find - "Friends you haven’t met yet” people.

Prankster. That is one of the words I would use to describe Nate on occasion. Let me tell you about one of his best early pranks.

The year was 2014. Nate was 10 and Grant was 12. Young boys. It is holiday season and that means decorations at the Baker house! Leslie always does an incredible job decorating the interior of our house and I normally handle the outside.

This particular holiday is Halloween. We put out all kinds of decorations - lights, webbing with spiders, “ghosts” around our trees (that Leslie designed using dowel rods, styrofoam globes and sheets!), and finally, some skeleton bones complete with headstone grave markers. I must say, I think we do a pretty good job.

Well, one day our friend Mia comes into the house laughing hysterically and she says: “Your skeletons are killing me! Somebody’s got a b*ner in your front yard!”

Whaaa?

We go out to investigate (all of us giggling now) to find that Nate and Grant had re-arranged some skeleton bones to make the skeletons look like what can only be described as - “excited”!

I kid you not. Take a look at the photo I pasted below - have good look. Zoom in if you dare - assuming you aren’t offended by 10 year old boy pranks! (If you are offended - I am sorry. Sorry to offend you and sorry you don’t have a sense of humor that allows you to laugh out loud at things like this!!) The boys had re-arranged some of the bones and even gathered some leaves to make it clear they were male skeletons. No girl skeletons at the Bakers house apparently!

After Leslie got over her initial laughter (and embarrassment), I convinced her to leave the skeletons alone - exactly as the boys had designed them! It made me giggle for the next couple days every time I came in and out of the driveway.  I am giggling now writing this!

I wonder who Nate is pranking now? We have had more than one thing happen over the past sever months that I wouldn’t put past Nate having a hand in.

I love you and miss you every day Nate Baker. Please keep making people laugh!

It's Halloween! The Bakers have always loved Halloween and getting dressed up, especially when the kids were smaller. From decorating the house to preparing for trick-or-treaters, Halloween has always been a time of year when we know they'll be lots of activity, lots of candy, and lots of memories.

While I have many fond memories of Nate from Halloween, I specifically recall the year he was in late elementary school and requested a fog machine for our family to really spook the trick or treaters! Seeing the eerie impact of the fog as the princesses and sponge bobs rang our doorbell is something Dan and I won't forget, we were always the ones giving out the candy.

As Nate, Grant and EG have gotten older some of our Halloween traditions have remained the same. Dressing up is still embraced. Nate was never afraid of a costume and even this morning, EG headed off as Patrick from SpongeBob and Grant headed out as one of the 3 Blind Mice. I love their spirit...And we still have the fog machine! We'll hook it up this evening and see if the impacts remain the same!

Thank you Nate for always adding another level of excitement, fun, and energy to our family traditions and our unforgettable memories. We'll keep doing our best to carry those traditions on in a way that makes you laugh and smile!

Love you forever!! Mom

Pictures are Below...Happy Halloween everyone!!

With the recent 6 months to date of Nate's passing, I have spent much time reflecting...reflecting on the people Nate loved and those who loved him back. The absence of Nate's voice, laughter, and physical presence here on earth is something that is definitely taking some time to get accustomed to. Nate would be proud of us, all of us who are moving forward and carrying his honor in all that we do. 

I'm sharing my Columbia and Richmond eulogies to have them all captured in one place. We love you forever Nate. 

Columbia:  Today is a special day. Special days can be hard. Our first time together on this altar in Rutledge Chapel was to celebrate the beginning of our history of the Baker family, the happiest day of my life. To return today is special, sad and hard under these circumstances but oh so special to be here.

Wednesday, April 2nd was undoubtedly the saddest day of my life. No parent wants to get the news that there was nothing more doctors could do. As we made our way up I-95 processing that our PRTYof5 was changed by number, there was silence, bursts of tears, and the sadness of grief that I have never ever felt before. We were so happy to arrive at 1203 Woodrow, Nate’s house. All I wanted to do was be there and hug everyone in the house, yard, and all around. Ironic though, because while I love hugs, I’ve never been a very big hugger.

It was simply amazing to see the darkness of grief morph into some of the most precious moments I have experienced with such special people who love our Nate! Hugging Sam and Cade on the front porch with Ryan and Carmen, seeing tears in eyes and drinks in hand, I was already feeling Nate. Seeing Duncan jump into action finding memories in pictures that would be sitting in our spaces for the next few days, again Nate is here. The friends, family, and food- this was grief and I could see everyone processing it as their hearts directed.

My heart told me to stay in Nate’s room that night, to be near him, feel his presence and to chat like we always did. As everyone left the house heading to go to the Fiji vigil, it became more clear. This is real… Knowing that I needed sleep I went upstairs to Nate’s room. Ha sleep, yeah right. I sat at Nate's desk and began writing my thoughts, I knew I would speak whenever we celebrated. I have a lot to say. So I wrote, and then threw it away, and I started over…yeah that doesn’t sound right either. Third time is a charm…nope, nope it isn’t. Stuck. I can’t do this… I moved to Nate’s bed and sat, closing my eyes to think of him. And in that moment it’s like our conversation began. “Mommie” as Nate jokingly called me, “It’s not that deep. I’ll help. It’s all about communication. Mom, let me give you the words.” And so I went back to his desk, sat down and Nate told me exactly what to say. Every. Single. Word.

“Ok Mom you ready?” Yep…

I listened and wrote.

To Mom and Dad:  Holy crap you two, you’ve been married for 28 years! Thank you for that! Thank you for the gift of our family. Me, Grant, and EG knew you loved us more than anything in the world. Thank you for creating special memories we’ll hold forever and loving who we loved.

Dad, I will always be with you in the garage working on cars, fixing whatever was broken, and riding bikes. I love you so much dad. You taught me everything I know and I have used it for good (and maybe a little bad too, not gonna lie.) Look for me dad. I am with you.

Mom, You and I will forever share weekly walks, talks, gym workouts and the best times on the dance floor. Thank you for teaching me the value of helping others in all that you do and being loyal as a friend! I talked to you about everything and you always said, “Oh Nate, you’ll figure it out.” We will still talk everyday mom and now I do have it all figured out… “I’m in the promised land!” Look for me mom, I will be with you. And to you both, thank you for my Grant and EG, I love them so much!

To Grant:  I have always admired you GBake. Whether it was dancing as toddlers in our underwear during a Baker dance party or sharing our love for sports, you set a standard for me and were my lead. And I gotta be honest, batting after you during T-ball was not easy. You would hit the homeruns earning the nickname GRANT SLAM, and then when it was my turn, I would strike out. Oh well. Neither of us ended up playing baseball anyways so it didn’t matter. But when it came to lacrosse, there was something special about spending a little time on the same end of the field with you, especially during that state's game. Being behind you in the cage was a good feeling because you were a machine in the middle. We never never really fought other than the occasional throwing ping pong paddles and you always let me hang out with you and your buddies. We did give each other the silent treatment when we were really mad a time or two and I remember mom saying “Boys, you can fight it out, talk it out, or hug it out. But we don’t pretend we don’t exist. The Bakers aren’t invisible. I love you Grant. I will be with you every night during family dinners, on the boat at the lake, or on the wonderful vacations the PTYOF5 takes together. Look for me GBake, I will be with you.

To Emily Grace:  EG, the day you were born was a very exciting day for me! I couldn’t wait to take you for a real, live show and tell at my preschool. It was so fun helping take care of you and I loved making you laugh. We had lots of time together while G was at school. Often mom would put me in charge. When she did my favorite thing was to bounce you so hard that you almost flipped right out of that bouncy seat. You and I thought that was funny, mom…not so much! But she kept putting me in charge. I always wanted to make you happy. From sleeping next to you when you were little so the nightmares go away to seeing you grow into the sister you have become. You have accomplished so many things in high school and you are going to be great at college. You are so smart and mature and I am so proud of you and inspired by your courage. Taking up a new sport as a high school junior is not something many people do. Good luck on the track! EG you can talk to me anytime, I always enjoyed our conversations and sharing advice. Even if you didn’t want it. Thanks for setting up those Rico nights out with me and GBake. Special times! Keep being you, focused, smart, kind, thoughtful but most of all honest. Your honesty is such a gift, even when people don’t want to hear it. I will be with you EG in class, in your car on the way to school, on the track field, everywhere you go. Look for me.

To My Family:

Uncle Steve, Aunt Sam, Uncle Marky, Aunt Kelly, Amy, Molly- God bless Bammy and Bampy for starting our traditions, beach vacations, Christmas and thanksgiving gatherings, I’ll never forget them. (Bammy and Bampy say hi by the way. They were waiting for me and sooooo happy to see me when I got here.) Don’t ever forget the water balloon fights (especially ganging up on Uncle Steve when he was two feet away), tye dying t-shirts, So fun being goofy together. Especially striking my model pose when I squeezed my fat butt into EG’s mermaid tail and perched by the pool and then there’s the one of our family with Dixie Belle photobombing by taking a poop in the background. (Mom- why didn’t you put that one on the Christmas card??)

Uncle Ryan, Aunt Carmen, Cousin Chase and Nicole- Our concert in Charlotte to see Morgan , the trips to Lake Wylie to celebrate New Year’s, Gamecock tailgates and football games, and of course playing the ACE mascot. Good luck with the store Uncle Ryan. I’ll never forget the fun. Chase- you started my love for hunting and I hope you will always remember that.

“Bud, I’m getting sleepy are we almost done??” “Cmon Mom we gotta lock in!”

Ok, ok bud…keep talking…

To My Bella: Bella- it’s ok to be sad but I want you to know how much you mean to me, and not just me but my whole family! Mom and dad loved who we loved and EG saw you as a big sis. Though the debate remains who was playing hard to get in the beginning, you know I have seen your beauty both inside and out since we met. I love all the memories we share together. Keep them close to your heart; Memories of Mountain weekends, Fraternity lots, hanging out at Jakes, 4th of July at Lake Anna and no way to forget the fun fraternity formals. You always looked so beautiful and tbh a bit out of my league.. You will always be my diamond girl!! I love you Bella. I will be with you on campus, at 1203 Woodrow when you come back to just sit on my bed and do homework or if you’re hanging in your apartment petting the cats (do they have names yet??) Look for me Bella, I am with you.

To My Fiji Brothers: Y’all are the best group of friends I could ever have. Sam and Duncan, best roommates ever who would give me the shirts off their backs (literally) Sam thanks bud for letting me raid your closet like we were sisters or something. Duncan you were always the best at keeping us on schedule when our folks came in for parents weekend. I know boys, we hated giving up our beds but I wouldn’t have traded our late night couch sleepovers in the den for anything. Thank GOD no one has to sleep on the couch anymore. It was like fitting a 20foot ladder in the back of a truck bed. Teddy and Tyler I got you boys! Fiji brothers, the brotherhood we share is something special that I was hesitant to do at first. I actually called mom to talk about it one night at 2am and she said follow your heart bud, you’ll figure it out and I did. Thank you Caeden, Cole and Carter for encouraging me. Boys I love you more than you’ll ever know. I will be with you at Strom while your working out the muscles, I will be with you at Darla while you are studying and figuring out the next steps of projects, and I will be with you in Five Points, especially Touchdowns. Look for me, I will be with you fellas!

Nate “Bud, I’m getting sleepy are we almost done??” “Cmon Mom we gotta lock in!

Ok, ok bud…keep talking.

To Mr Cruz: My family and I know this was an accident. We are praying for you.

To All the Baker Friends supporting my family today:

I love you all so much! I know you’re sad but don’t be. You know I like a good time and I will do anything to make you happy. I will always be in your hearts, memories, words and laughter. Be good to people and let others see your good. We all have it… I know my family will be ok, Bakers bend, we don’t break, but check in on them. I lived a great life and am thankful for all that it gave me.

I’m exactly where I want to be… The Promised Land.

Richmond:  Family- What a gift. A gift that forever holds a place in our hearts. Today as I look around this room I am in awe. We are surrounded by family: Kin Folk Family, Friend Family, Church Family, High School Family, College Family, Work Family, Community Family. Well you get the picture…

March 19th, 2004- Nathaniel Guy “Nate” Baker entered our little family world. Grant became a big brother. Dan and I became parents of two kids, not just one. Grant, now, had not only a little brother, but a playmate too. I saw our family beginning to shape. As I watched the bond between Grant and Nate grow, my heart experienced a love it never knew before. God was nurturing it through the gift of children.

Quickly Grant became a 2-year-old caregiver, entertaining his little brother. Grant would sit next to Nate in the crib, flipping through the pages of books “reading” to his little brother as best a two-year-old can. And Nate, with his big, inquisitive, bright brown eyes, listened. These moments were priceless for me because Nate would NEVER let anyone else other than me hold him and without Grant’s toddler entertainment and caregiving, showers and daily chores were nearly impossible. As the boys grew, time spent in the playroom together often meant playing matchbox cars on the hot wheels track, watching Thomas the Tank Engine, and building Legos (Nate loved Legos). Seeing the boys together as their brotherly friendship blossomed, I quickly began to realize that family means much more than simply brother, mom or dad. It means having lifelong relationships that can stand the test of time as they weave threads through our hearts.

The brother roles shifted for the boys when Emily Grace was born into the Baker family. Grant was still the oldest brother, but Nate was no longer the youngest. Nate had moved into the role of taking care of his little sister now that Grant was off to kindergarten. And Nate had learned very well from Grant how to be a big brother! He would bounce EG in the bouncy seat, just as Grant had bounced him, with a propulsion that I thought would spin her into orbit. They would laugh and laugh. And some mornings I would find Nate sitting with EG in her pack n play, just as Grant used to sit with him, playing and taking turns tossing her pink Ellie back and forth. Our family…growing. The pieces of our family puzzle were fitting together and the picture it created warmed my mama heart.

Throughout middle and high school Nate’s world continued to flourish. There were multiple friend groups for going to the movies, going to Friday night football games, spending time together at Lake Anna or just hanging in the third floor playing ping pong. There were many sports teams with someone readily available at any given moment to go shoot hoops or go fishing. Nate’s mastery of balance between work and play always amazed me. Since he was old enough to ride a bike, he was finding ways to make money. Whether it was creating a makeshift bike trailer out of a toddler pull along to get his mower around the neighborhood or convincing buddies to help him shovel driveways during snowstorms, Nate was always looking for ways to make a dollar. Recently, he began sharing his dreams of becoming a salesman. That sounded spot on!

College opened many new doors for Nate. New friends, new adventures, new opportunities, and new love. Being Nate’s mom, I was blessed to have a front row seat watching his heart take shape and seeing the young man he was becoming. As the years have passed, it has been easy to see his goodness. Nate’s jovial attitude and funny charisma like magnets that attracted everyone. Watching him with family I saw love and gratefulness. Seeing Nate with friends and teammates I saw loyalty and respect. And observing Nate with strangers, I witnessed a heart of kindness, service, and caring. Such precious memories and I’ll hold them in my heart forever.

When the Baker boys went off to college, and EG moved into high school I renamed my group chat with them: “Mama’s hearts.” My little platform to send encouraging texts, funny TikToks, and silly Instagram reels about babies and animals to my kids. My most recent message to Mama’s Heart group chat was to tell the Baker kids: “Happiness is when you realize your children have turned out to be good people.” Yes, that sums it up.

We are lucky. We got to experience 21 impactful years with our Nate. Years full of love, faith, hope, service, laughter, and compassion. Looking back on Nate’s life, I realize that every interaction, every friendship, every act of kindness or service is an opportunity to learn from him. Hold your babies, chores can wait. Love with a boundless heart. Take care of others and make people feel special. Learn from mistakes. Recently, I discovered that Nate had been growing in his faith, reading and studying the scripture, taking notes, and learning more about the Bible. Hearing this it became clear to me that Nate’s heart was ready to be welcomed home, to the Promised Land. As I ponder the days, weeks, months and years ahead, I know our family will be ok. Our hearts will heal. It will not always be easy and simple, but I know that we will see Nate in all his radiance again someday and that God will continue to nurture my heart! As I often write notes to my kids include poems sending them off to the first day of school or other memorable moment, I wrote this poem today to share as we gather in Nate's honor and memory.

The Glass HeartThe glass heart is transparent, Allowing us to see right throughTo understand the heart of others, Displayed by all that we do.

The glass heart is built through grace and compassion,  It’s memories ever present and clear.                       And as our hearts grow for those that we treasure, Our relationships become more true and dear.

The glass heart is sparkling, With radiating beams of lightAnd as we recall our memories of love Forever we’ll hold them tight.

The glass heart is a servant’s heart, Looking for ways to help others.                                                                   Whether spending time or giving grace To a friend, stranger, or brother.

My heart continues to heal through my Faith and the memories I have with Nate. And in the face of this tragedy, I am seeing hope. If losing Nate’s physical presence here on earth inspires us to share more love, give more grace, and exemplify more compassion, that’s the best outcome The Baker Family, could ask for. Whether you knew Nate as Baby Nate, Naterbug, Curly Fry, Nate Dog, Shake N Bake, or simply Nate, my hope for us all is that our glass hearts will continue to be a light shining on those around us, an example of all that Nate represented.

Nate, keep shining your light from the Promised Land, we will be looking for it in all that we do. Love you bud!

As six months without Nate approaches, I keep thinking of the moments where he and I sat around and did nothing. Even if there wasn't much to be said, I loved being in his presence. Nate was always bound to throw in a comment that would make me laugh, and I miss his voice every day.

Nate and I always had a deal with each other: if you got bored or tired on the road, call the other person. A couple weeks before losing Nate, I had to pick up a suit for my sister's wedding. Unfortunately, the closest Joseph A. Bank was an hour away from me. Knowing I would be bored on the drive, as soon as I hit the road, I called Nate. He was always great at answering his phone and picked up right away. Once he answered, I asked him if he was busy, to which he replied that he was just relaxing for a bit in between classes. Not wanting to bother him, I told him that I would let him relax and could put on some music. He insisted that I stay on the phone and talked to me the whole way. While I don't remember the entire conversation, I will always remember the feeling that I got from this interaction. Nate always had a way of making time for others, and this was a prime example. The hour car ride felt like five minutes. 

While this may not be the funniest story of Nate, I believe simple moments like this highlight Nate as a person. Even if Nate had a million things going on in his life, he always made time for other people. He was always there for you if you needed him, and he would not stop until there was a smile on your face.

I miss you so much, Nate. Thank you for picking up the phone every time I had a long car ride ahead of me. You saved me from a lotttt of boredom.

The day Nate almost sank the jet ski...buckle up!

One of the things Nate loved at the lake was riding the jet ski. He and friends would tube behind it, joy ride around the lake, and even have some escapades that involved jumping off some bridges (so I am told! I also just read it is illegal so consider everyone who reads this warned!). The entire Baker family loves the lake. We always invite friends to come with us to share the fun and joy.

We were at the lake one weekend in summer of 2022 and we had some of the Mancuso family with us - Sal, Michelle, Michael and Melissa. We were having a fantastic time on this hot day and, in the afternoon, we headed to “The Cool Cove” to relax and float for a while. (We call it “The Cool Cove" because it is the coolest water on the private side/warm side of Lake Anna. Cool is relative in this case. In the middle of summer, the water is still in the low 90’s in “The Cool Cove”.) As usual, Nate and his good friend Michael rode the jet ski and met us in the cove after they took a joy ride around for a while.

There we were, with the boat anchored in the cove and all of us hanging out in the water, enjoying some music and laughter for a couple hours. There were probably 10 or more boats all around the cove on this fine day. Nate and Michael had tied the jet ski off to the boat when they arrived. This kept the ski from floating away as we all hung out and relaxed.

Fast forward a couple hours and Nate, Michael and I are making our way onto the boat to untie the ski so they can head back to the house for dinner. We planned to be right behind them in the boat. Well - as Nate pulls the jet ski closer to the boat to hop on it, we both say out loud “Is the jet ski sitting low in the water?”.

As Nate hops on it to try to start it, two things happen: 1) The engine turns over for a split second and then goes silent and 2) the rear of the ski sinks and it goes nose up as Nate is dumped into the water! When I say it goes nose up, I mean - it is pointing straight at the sky. The ski is oriented like a rocket and not like boat. However, it is NOT going to blast off. Quite the opposite - half the ski is underwater, and it’s getting ready to go straight to the bottom.

My and Nate’s heart rate instantly spikes! I’m talking just about full-on panic. We have to get the ski to shallow water or it’s going to be unrecoverable! At this point we have no idea how all the water got in it but we can tell it’s getting worse. I start barking orders and Nate immediately starts helping. (I think he is more scared of losing the ski to the depths than I am - He LOVES riding it!) I’m yelling at everyone to get away from the boat so we can quickly tow the ski to shore while Nate is tying a line to the front of the ski so we can tow it over toward shore before it sinks.

(Sidenote: Michael reminded me that one of the other boats in the cove was like a college party boat with loud music, loud laughter and antics and people chugging beers. I think we even watched a couple of guys shotgun beers. Picture that juxtaposition of them celebrating and partying while we are eyes wide open panicked trying to save the jet ski from the bottom of the cove! If you aren’t giggling right now, I am doing a poor job with my description.)

We tow the still sinking ski as shallow as I dare with the boat (lest I ruin the boat prop on the bottom and have 2 broken boats) and Nate hops out and pulls it shallower until it grinds to a halt - hard on the bottom. The first wave of slight relief hits us - we saved it from deep water! Then Nate pops the seat off to look in the engine compartment and discovers that water is most the way covering the engine (NOT GOOD!). It has so much water in it that half the ski is underwater as it sits there on the bottom. We are still a little unsure how it didn’t go to the bottom right when he first jumped on it but I am not complaining!

We make a plan: I will take the rest of our crew back to the house in the boat and grab some tools and rope while Nate, Micheal and Sal stay with the ski. When I drop off everyone at the house, I make Grant come  back to the cove with me to help - I am not sure how we are going to get the water out of it and we may need a lot of strength to lift or tip it (the ski weighs 700+ pounds without all the water in it).

As Grant and I arrive back at the cove where the ski is, Nate yells out “Guys - Grant’s here! We are saved!”. I am in no mood for humor, but Nate and Michael crack up laughing as Grant and I anchor the boat and wade over to assess the situation. I can still hear their laughter!

Nate, Michael and Sal had managed to pull the ski most the way up onto shore and the water was draining out the way it had come in. (As it turns out, the cable to the reverse bucket had a seal that had broken - which basically put a hole the size of my thumb in the bottom of the ski. Nate says: “Dad, I wondered why when I put it in reverse it went so easy! That must be when it broke the seal. I know exactly when it happened!”.) While they were riding around on plane, no/little water entered the ski. However, when he stopped and tied it to the boat, the flooding began.) We continued to let it drain and pulled it further onto shore until it was just about high and dry. As we are working to do this (moving a 700+ pound ski up onto dry land without a trailer is not fun or easy), Michael is throwing rocks in the water and making silly comments like “Look! A fish!”. I am so frustrated and irritated that I am not finding it amusing. Sal’s telling him to knock it off and, as Michael tells it, I turn to him and say: “Michael - You need to develop some situational awareness”. I didn’t yell it - I just stated it calmly and matter of fact. Michael received the message well and we all laugh hysterically about it every time we are together - still to this day!

So now we have a large, heavy jet ski pulled onto shore with no road or trailer access and no engine to propel it. (I forgot the engine issue detail: when Nate tried to start the ski, it sucked water into the internals of the engine and it was now hydrolocked. Meaning the cylinders were slam full of water. The same cylinders that are supposed to have gas burning in them to propel the ski. If it isn’t obvious, that is very low on the good scale.) What to do?

Nate and I devise a plan: I will get the boat ready to head out. He gets the ski ready to be towed with a good, strong rope that is the right length to pull it about 15 feet behind us. We are going to hook the rope to the boat and tow it straight back to the house - and cross our fingers that it doesn’t take on water fast enough to become a large anchor dragging off the back of the boat. If we can tow it fast enough, it will plane up on top of the water and the hole in the ski won’t be underwater - so it won’t even take on more water...Until we get to no wake zones at least. Gulp! We figure it took the ski an hour or more to take on the water it did, it should make it the 5-10 min through the no wake zones - assuming we can tow it fast enough...

I will say it was not the most fun towing experience I have had. Towing people on a tube or for a handle sport is fun. Towing a broken-down boat or ski - not so much fun.

We make it up onto plane, the ski is not very happy - it’s occasionally snapping back and forth on the wake crest right behind the boat. It could get ugly if the line snaps! We deal with the risk by moving everyone away from the rope in case it snaps. Nate is ready with another rope in case it does snap and we need to re-rescue it. Did I mention this isn’t very fun?

We make it back to the house fairly uneventfully. We pull the ski on the lift and Nate proceeds to help me with “de-watering” the cylinders. It’s quite amazing: We pull the spark plugs, run the starter motor a few seconds, water from the cylinders shoots 10-15 feet in the air out the plug hole, put the plugs back in and try to start it. We do this about 10 times because there is still a bunch of water in the intake manifold and every time we try to start it, it sucks more water into the cylinders and re-hydrolocks.

After many cycles of this, it finally stumbles to life. We run it on the lift for a few mins to heat everything up good and burn off any residual water in the engine. Nate sprays down the exterior of the engine with a protectant (like WD-40).

Thanks to the help of Grant, Sal, Michael and Nate, catastrophe is averted, and we all have another adventure we get to keep talking about and laughing about every time we are together. We still ride the ski every weekend we are at the lake!

You know Nate is up there helping somebody fix something. He is always ready to dive in, help, learn - and make the most out of a crazy situation!

I love you and miss you every day Nate Baker!