Hi Anh Bi & Anh Ly,

The first time I met Bac Mat I was 11 or 12. We went to Vietnam the year after Ba Ngoai passed away b/c Ba Me were worried that Ong Ngoai might never get a chance to meet me, seeing that I was the only grandkid born after they had fled Vietnam. I don’t know if I really understood what going to Vietnam would be like, I literally had spent my entire life in America up to that point. But your dad is actually very much the reason I loved Vietnam.

Because I was still a kid, I got to sit on the front of Bac Mat’s Vespa when he was driving around. I recognize now as an adult that probably wasn’t very safe but omg, it was sooooo much fun sitting up front in between his legs and I loved it when he’d drive us around town and point out landmarks in Saigon and look for nuoc mia and keo keo for me. I don’t know if Me appreciated how much or how often he spoiled my dinner but if there was a treat I looked even a little interested in, he made sure I had it. Over the years, as I got bigger, sitting at the front of his Vespa wasn’t a possibility anymore and I remember being a little sad when I had to move to sitting behind him because he wouldn’t be able to bend down and whisper jokes I didn’t always get in my ear as he was showing me around town.

I still remember really fondly how excited he was when I got married. He changed his suit twice and his tie 3 times because he wanted to look good for my wedding. He changed outfits more than I did 😂 it was adorable. In the following years before I had the kids I would still see him from time to time, and as his memory was starting to fade, he couldn’t remember Chris’ name. It didn’t stop him from asking though, he just substituted whatever American guy name he could remember and would ask “how’s Mark?” Or “How’s Peter?” Or “how’s John?” I wasn’t at all offended but Me and your mom would frequently remind him that my husband’s name was Chris and he’d respond “I know, he’s the 1st one!” As if I had been married a dozen times 🤣

Your dad made me feel so loved and that I didn’t need to do anything to earn that, he just liked me for me. I know that he wasn’t a perfect man and had his shortcomings, but for me, he was always quite lovely and I wanted you to know what his life meant to me.

Thinking of you all and sending huge hugs

Love,

Tâm