Hey kid! Neen awhile since i last posted. Man, there was some crazy flooding out.on west Texas a few dats back. The Guadalupe river overflowed its banks and the water rose over 27 feet i 45 minutes. Kerrville was pretty much underwater,  and a bunch of the campsites around the river were washed away. There were alot of people thatdied and wemt missing.  It was bad. We got alot of rain here as well, but we didnt flood. Any ways,  nuff bout that. Hope your cosmic journey is better than ever, cant wait to see you again so we can talk about it! I can only imagime the stuff you've seen.  Work is going ok, not much to say on that front.  Teddy is pretty mellow now,  he isnt as rambunctious as he was before so thats good.  He pretty much just hangs out and chills. Sometimes he gets the zoomies, but not all that frequently.  Ok, ive talked your ear off long enough. TTYL, and as always, love you forever, kiddo! Bye for now! 

Baby boy I miss you.  So much.  I feel so empty.  The only thing keeping me going is knowing moo needs me. If it wasn't for her I would have already given up. I love you son. Always.

Hey kid!  👋 HAPPY BIRTHDAY!  Hope wherever you are today, you are having a blast! We miss you so, so much! Anyway, I won't keep you long, just wanted to  talk to you on your b-day! Go enjoy whatever you're doing today, and see you later!  ❤️ Dad

Hey kid! 👋 it's been a little bit since I last checked in. Thought I'd stop by and say hi. Not alot going on right now,  work is super slow , but pretty normal for this time of year. Mom is working in Virginia right now on, of all things, O'Reilly's super hubs 😆 and from what she's saying busting her butt! She seems to really enjoy it,  whi h is good that she is in a job she likes (finally!) I'm so proud of her for making the move and finding a company that seems to take care of their employees. Not that she hasn't had drama at this new job, it seems to follow her no matter what bit nothing she can't handle. I think being away from Moo I kinda getting to her, but she'll be home for awhile next weekend so that's awesome!  It feels like we haven't seen her in forever, but she was home the first week of October so it's only been about a month, little bit more. I'm excited to see her for Thanksgiving though. I know she's going to need the downtime especially right now. This time of year has always been difficult for her because of her friend that passed away in November, and right around her birthday too. But on to a different subject. Moo is doing homeschooling this year, and now that we have everything lined out, she seems to enjoy it. She did get behind because she couldn't get on the school computer due to a clerical error on the school's side, but that's been resolved. She's been whipping out assignments left and right to get caught up,  and she's almost there, just a few more to do. She's currently working on a project for a class on creative writing,  and  has some pretty unique ideas. She has definitely taken after mom in the intelligence department for sure 🤣🤣! Not really sure what's going on with Kaitlyn and Joe, they haven't really been in touch alot recently.  I have to hope for the best, that they are doing OK and Andy is doing well.  Alright, kid. That's about all I have to catch you up on, so, as always, I hope you are setting the stars on fire and I will always always love you and miss you!! - Dad

Hey hey, kid! 👋 just dropping in on ya! Man, things been crazy around here lately!  😳  I've been repainting the house inside and pulling cabinets down 😆  and just generally making a mess, but once I'm finished it would have all been worth it.  Only thing that sucks is its taking way longer than I would have liked, but oh well.  Moo starts school Monday, hopefully she likes doing the online thing.  I really want it to work for her, and I'm positive she'll do great! Mom's been working her butt off at her new job, but she seems to enjoy it so that's good. Kinda funny she got hired to specifically set up O'Reilly's stores though 😆 🤣.  Hopefully we'll get to spend the first week of October with her, as she will have the week off before going to Virginia for the rest of the year 🙄. (MAYBE I'm being a little dramatic,  but eh...🤷) Anyway, just wanted to update ya on the happenings here in Woodville.  As always, I hope your cosmic journey is and always will be amazing! Love Dad

Hey kid! 👋  I miss you so so much-I really wish I could talk to you right now. You could always make me laugh when I needed it, and I need it today for sure. Feeling pretty low right now, but I'll deal with it, just like always. 😁 anyway, hope all is well and your cosmic adventures are amazing!  I see you in every sunset, so I tell you goodnight in my heart every day and I'll see you soon! But not TOO soon haha 😆 I want to text you some goofy jokes from time to time, but I know you most likely have already heard them. oh well. Teddy is doing fine, and he's just as loud as he's always been! He goes nuts outside and wraps himself around the lime tree in the front yard like a dummy, but most of the time he figures out how to untangle himself from the tree. What a goofball! Anyway, just wanted to update you even though I'm fairly certain that you already know 😉!  As always, I love you until the end of my days, kid- Dad

Hey kid! 👋  haven't been on here recently,  thirty days today actually 🤣! Been really busy lately,  apologies for not dropping a line but any ways hope all is well wherever you are today! So check this out- mom started her new job last month with merchco, and she seems to be enjoying it so far. Funny thing is, she is working at setting up new O'Reilly's stores. How ironic right?? 😅. She's in Greenville,  SC currently setting up a  new super hub. Moo has decided she wants to do homeschooling this year and  I  have been trying to get all the paperwork done and everything, and got most of her stuff turned in just need to get proof of residency uploaded. 🤣. Haven't heard from Kaitlyn recently,  but last time I spoke to her she was doing well.  Anyway, just wanted to take a minute to say hi and keep you up to date(like you didn't already know all that 🤣🤣) Until next time, and as always I love you and miss you!  ❤️  💔- Always, Dad

I knew Kyle sense high school I remember his first day at spring creek and when I went and talked to him we stayed close ever sense then. He crashed with me in Florida once when he was passing through in the truck with teddy.  I remember taking him out to the gun range here that me and handle full of the guys I worked with went and let  him sling some lead and relax. Getting hang out and help get teddy trained up so he would behave. 

It all seems like it was yesterday me calling and telling him how Alaska was the greatest place in the world to be and how it cool it is to work on one of the most advanced fighter jets in the world. And him telling me about all the stuff going on with him. 

Family isn't always blood. It the people that take care of you no matter what. And would stop their world to make sure you are taken care of . 

I miss you so much brother! Wish I could have been there to help more man. I know your in better place and a lot happier. Hope you having a good time up their buddy! Stay safe and save some hood rat stuff for us to do when I get their alright. 

Hey kid! 👋  Well, haven't been on here for a while, but what's up? I have some exciting news- Mom started a new job on Monday. I'm really excited for her and I know she'll do great! Only thing that sucks is it's in South Carolina.  Anyway, no more Dollar tree for her! Finally she got out of that place. You already knew all that though! 😄  Moo is starting her sophomore year in high-school already- can you believe that??  Haven't really had alot of Contact with Kaitlyn, she periodically texts or calls, but not alot. Nothing much going on here, but I am going to start working on the kitchen and getting rid of those crappy brown cabinets and eventually get that nasty fake wood vinyl off the floor. Those are the minor projects I'm going to be doing, the major project I have is pulling that junk door out of the kitchen and putting a wall in. Wish me luck on that as I have never done anything like that before! Luckily,  my buddy JJ has done it and has all the tools to do it right so he offered to give me a hand when I get started on it,  its just too damn hot out right now. That's really all I wanted to tell you, so until next time! I miss you, and love you son-Dad

Hi baby boy. I know I haven't gotten on here much. The truth is it's hard for me to come here and say anything.  Nothing fixes you not being here. Today is the 1 year mark since you left. I still struggle with being here without you.  Every day I am reminded you're gone, and even when I try to pretend life is okay, it's really not.  I am really struggling to keep going. If it wasn't for Moo I am sure I would give up.   I'm still really angry too. Her family never tried to reach out to me and that is the thing I am most pissed off about. I feel like they used you and how dare they do that.  Well I am rambling.  I love you so much son. I hope wherever you are you know my love is always with you.  -Mom

Hey kid! 👋- Today is the right day so HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! 😊  (Yess! Got it right for once, but only after a reminder from mom lol!) Teddy seems to be ok, he's super hyper.....man can that dog JUMP! He's like a spring more than a dog! I don't know how you kept him calm in the truck with you. I hope you are out there somewhere having the time of your life and just being good old goofy you. 🤪 if you can hear my thoughts,  have an amazing day today- it's yours for the taking! After all, it IS your day! Lol! - love you kid! -Dad

Sorry kid!  Got your birthday mixed up again! Lol!Mom let me know I was a little early on the happy birthday,  but oh well- just said it a little earlier than I should have. I always got your birthday and my Gramps' backwards even when you were little.  Mom would always get frustrated with me because I SWORE yours was the 6th and apparently still do!  (as if she didn't know when you were born) 😆 love you! -Dad

Hey kid!👋 Just wanted to say happy birthday,  and wish I could tell you in person. I can't believe that you are 25 today! I hope you are ok and still having a blast on your cosmic adventure,  and I also wanted to say thank you for coming and visiting mom to let her know you are ok, it means the world to her. We miss you so much, son. Can't believe you have been gone almost a year now, 😢.  It's been really difficult to  accept,  and I still find myself reaching for the phone to try and send you a text, then I have to stop myself once I realize there won't be an answer. Today is a very heavy day, and I am trying to not be so sad but failing miserably.  I can only imagine how mom feels. Love you kid, always and forever.-Dad

Hey kid!👋 Just stopping by to say hi!  Not alot going on right now, really. Went to our friend's house a few nights ago to hang out and BBQ, had a good time. Mom and moo were there this time, so it was even better! Just had a good time hanging out and cutting up with everyone and just being general goofballs. Our friend Jamie was working on her van and broke her big toe a few days ago- ouch! She said it hurts like he'll all the way up to her knee, I know that has got to suck! She has to keep it elevated for a few days-luckily She has some PTO to use. Mom and moo are doing basically OK, I don't remember if i told you that moo has a bf named Dakota but hes a good kid. Mom Stull trying to break away from DT, but nothing from that place she went earlier. Here's to hoping she'll get some news soon! Kaitlyn finally talked to me (I don't remember if I already told you about it or not) but she said they are doing good, they have their own apartment and Joe has FINALLY seemed to have found a job he can stick with. I'm kinda getting worn out at Tejas, been looking around for something else, not much around here though. 😅  Anyway, that's it for this time around- as always, thanks for listening to the old man. I love you son, forever. -Dad

Hey kid! 👋  You probably already know,  but I've got BIG news! Mom went to an interview today at Parker timber consultants and KILLED IT! She had an amazing interview and (fingers crossed) got the job, more or less. I'm so excited and happy for her! She only has to take a test to check her proficiency in office applications- you know, like word, power point, excel the usual business software- but she knows those like the back of her hand, so yeah- PRETTY sure she's got it. I'm barely able to contain my excitement! I really hope all goes well, she really really needs to get away from Dollar Tree and all the dregs of Woodville society. She was so nervous this morning, but I told her she's got this. No question. She told me that the lady that interviewed her already took her around to meet everyone that works there, and in my work experience employers don't generally do that unless they are going to hire the person that they ate introducing. God, I can't express how happy I am for her! She deserves a decent job for once in her life! Listen to me, going on as if you didn't already know- you probably knew the outcome before she even went in! 😆😆 it's awesome! Anyway, just thought I'd share with you and say hi since it's been a few days since I talked to you (via text, anyway) As always, thanks for listening and I love you forever- Dad

Hey, kid! It's me again- sorry for disturbing you yet again, but please bear with me.... I just wanted to let you know I saw an old pic of us on the carousel in San Diego at Seaport Villiage when we all went down for vacation.  You were three, I think 🤔,  at least in that age range 😆- you were sitting on a white horse and you looked like you loved it!  I don't know if you remember that or not, but I couldn't pass up telling you about it because it's a pic I haven't seen in a long time. Anyway, thanks for listening to this old man- Love you, and I will talk to you later! 👋-Dad

Hey kid! 👋 I just wanted to say hi and to say I had a pretty good time last night.  I went to a BBQ at some friend's house and it was combined with their pup's birthday-smoked sausages and food for days!😅 it was pretty fun,  the only part that was pretty lame was mom wasn't able to attend. ☹️ Well, here we are at 10 months and 5 days- I really miss you,  son. I hate that I can't just call you and see what's up or how it's going or anything like that again, which really really sucks 😕- I know we didn't speak all the time, but I loved each and every time we did. I know we didnt always see eye to eye and that's perfectly okay,  I mean father and son having a different opinion about things? Who would've thought?!?! 😆  but I still loved you with all my soul and I always will. You had such a big impact on my life, it's feels like part of me has been ripped out and sent somewhere that it will never return from and that part of me is you. I hope I can find you again someday, I just wish it wasn't  forced on us like it was- you shouldn't have to be found, you should be here with us! We both miss you so much and I feel like I'm adrift in this stream called "life"- trying to move forward but feeling like I'm not doing enough and at the same time doing too much and not feeling I can find the way- it's exhausting to be honest. I ask myself if I did something wrong or if I missed something or if I could have done more?  Why didn't you try to call first? Why didn't I call you?  Why? Why? Why? The why and what is are killing me kid, they really are. I know I probably couldn't have changed the outcome,  but as a parent I will ALWAYS blame myself- I should have been more aware,  I should have been more involved,  I should have, I should have,  I should have........ I am working on trying to forgive myself, as logically I know it's not my fault, but mentally it's not that simple-any way, I think that's enough of the pity train, you don't need to hear that! But thanks for letting me vent all the same- love you forever, kid! Until next time- Dad

Hey, kid! Just dropping in. I wish I could ask you how you're doing,  but I know I will not receive an answer- but how you doing? Things are a little crazy here right now,  but it can only get better hopefully 🙏.  Mom and I have both been in a pretty dark place since you left,  and I still can't  fathom how long you've been gone.  9 months tomorrow 😔. Ironically enough,  it's your sister's birthday tomorrow.  How crazy is that?  We miss you so terribly that day to day  tasks feel like a heavy burden that can't be accomplished but we find a way through it all and do it all over again the next day. You will always have a spot in my heart and soul ,that will never ever change. No matter what happens in the future,  not a day will go by that I don't think about you and what I could have done differently or better. If you are out there and can hear my thoughts, I know we weren't the best parents when you were growing up,  please forgive us. Truth is, we were just kids ourselves, and didn't have any idea about how to raise kids too. We didn't have an instruction manual or anything like that,  but we did the best we could with what we knew at the time- maybe it wasn't good enough or the right way, but we loved all of you equally and still do. I have one really big request of you if you can hear me-please please think about coming to see mom in her dreams and let her know that you love her- she is lost within herself because she feels that you have forgiven every one but her. She isn't perfect, she is human after all and yes, she made mistakes with you just as I did. You need to know that she was never ever the bad guy, she ALWAYS went to bat for you but she didn't want you to be unhappy so she allowed herself to be the bad guy because she didn't want you to be angry with anyone else.  I hope you understand that now and can find your way to her. She so desperately wants to see you somewhere,  and maybe the dream idea won't be to difficult.  Again, if you can hear my thoughts PLEASE try or at least think about it? If you're not up for it you can always come see me and give me a message just please don't hold hate for her, she's getting beat up enough right now. No expectations or pressure,  just think about it ok? I love you kid! Until we meet again, I will talk to you through here as well as my thoughts!  See you later!

Hey kid.  👋  just thinking about you alot recently and how you're not here any more....This will never get any easier, but maybe with time it won't hurt as much as it does now. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you felt so alone, I feel like I failed you as a father😔. As a matter of fact, right now I just feel like a failure in general, but whatever-nothing new there. I miss you and your awesome goofiness so much, almost ten months since you passed and I still hope I am going to get one of your videos or jokes in my inbox, then reality hits me like a ton of bricks that I won't ever see them again. I don't know if your spirit continued on as no one really knows I'd there is another side, but I like to think that you are having a great time wherever you are, and I hope with all my soul that you have found peace. I miss you more than words will ever tell. I love you, son and I will always remember you in my heart and memories. I guess that's it for now, but I will talk to you again. Count on it!

Oh son. Here it is March and I can't fathom the idea you've been gone almost 10 months. I'm trying so hard to live life to the fullest but it's been a struggle. I miss you so much every single day.  Breathing still hurts from time to time. Will losing you ever get easier?

Hey, kid. Wow- 7 months now you've been gone and it seems like it was yesterday.  I miss you so much and I am trying to cope with you never coming back, just really really hard to accept 😔.  

 

Hi, kid. Just wanted to say hi, haven't talked to you recently and I apologize,  just been really busy now that I'm working 2 jobs. Anyway, it's really been hard th8s week, Christmas is Sunday and you won't be calling to say anything this year and it breaks my heart.  I have come to the realization that you are never coming back and I ask myself why couldn't it be me in you're position.  I would GLADLY lay down my life to have you back but that's not how it works and that sucks. I miss you so much, I try to be ok for mom and moo, but I'm a wreck inside. When you died I had no idea what to do-it felt like a pit opened up under me and I started falling and haven't stopped since. There is no up or down any more and I can't  seem to find any solid ground to stand on. I don't know how to explain it, but that's the best I can do. I hope you are at peace and are resting now. I love you son and I always will, I will see you again someday, but until then have an awesome cosmic journey🥲🥲

.

6 months today you left and it still feels like it just happened yesterday.  I am pretending to be okay by smiling and laughing and being goofy. The truth is I am so, so far from okay.  Losing you shattered me into a million pieces, destroying any good I had left in me. I am hollow, void, nothing more than just a mask of happy so the people around me don't notice.  I miss your voice, your laugh, and even the mean jokes.  I just miss you son. So much. I love you. 

It's been almost 6 months since you've been gone and it still feels just as raw as the night I got the knock on the door.  My heart is shattered and it will never be the same.  My only solace is knowing you're not suffering the pain of life. I love you always son. 

Hey, kid. Just wanted to drop you a line. It's been awhile, for sure. So much is going on right now, it's crazy. Today you have been gone 5 months and it still seems like I saw you yesterday. I still look for your texts telling me a goofy joke or a video that made you laugh and you shared but I'm slowly coming to the realization you won't be sending me anything ever again, and I am not ok with that, nor will I ever be. I miss you so much-i can't describe the feeling. Anyway, just wanted to say we miss you terribly each and every day all day. This time of year is especially hard for mom and me knowing you aren't going to be calling to say happy Thanksgiving or coming home for Christmas this year. 😔.

I LOvE YOU, KYLE! And I will always miss you for the rest of my days. Thank you for choosing me to be your dad for as long as you were alive, I'm am grateful for the opportunity even though I didn't deserve you as my son. I hope that no matter where you are out there in the cosmos you are having a great adventure, but call me selfish when I say I would much rather you be here just a phone call away. You will be eternally missed until my dying breath, then maybe we can see each other again.💗💔