Eulogy

We are gathered here to celebrate the life of my loving father, Kenny Boyd. I want to thank everyone for coming to share in this celebration of the life and a final tribute before we go to bury his ashes in his final resting place, beside his mother, whom he loved and adored with all his heart. I do not know if he would have been surprised how many people showed up to celebrate his life, or if he would have smiled and said, “well..., I'm kind of well-liked” … and he was... he knew it, and it amused him.

My whole life, it has been, “Hey, aren’t you Kenny Boyd’s daughter?” I would proudly say, "Yes!" I never feared talking to strangers because I figured if they knew who my Dad was, then they also knew better than trying anything. Usually, it was women who approached me swearing their undying love for him. I often wondered how he had so many women that loved him so much. I also wondered if there were this many that loved him, that surely someone should have hated him... but I never met one that said that. I actually have met several that have said he either "saved" or "changed" their lives. I have met many men who said he is either their brother, uncle, best friend, and all-around good guy.

Anyone who has been around me in my Dad's presence knows I am and have always been a daddy's girl... I love him sooo much! Honestly though, it is because he loved me first and loved me unconditionally, and then he kept loving me unconditionally throughout life... It did not matter what I did, I could be the baddest kid and it did not change how he looked at me... like I was the apple of his eye.

Some people never experience the kind of love from a parent that they just know, no matter what, their dad will still love them... I will admit, I have raised his eyebrows though, with my outspokenness, and many passionate opinions. He has corrected me when he thinks I'm narrow-minded in my viewpoint. He tells people about me of course, and it is always funny when it comes back to my ears to hear what he says. Apparently, he warns them that I am a “firecracker,” but if I am, it is because he was "dynamite" because “the apple of his eye” did not fall far from the tree. I am always filled with joy in my heart when I hear the positive stories of how he touched so many people's lives in so many different ways... and everyone has a story to tell of their time with him...to know him was to love him...

Speaking of love, and he had many, but his first marriage was to my mother, Alison (McGuire back then). It was a young love, but out of that young love came his first daughter and his first son, me, and my brother Eric. As with any teenage parents, it was rough, they weren't ready and they agreed to part ways as friends.. Although they divorced, he once wrote me a letter back years when I asked him, "why they divorced and would they ever get back together?" In his letter, he explained to me that although he was no longer "in love" with my mom, he would always "love her" and he wishes nothing but the best for her. I appreciated that they never had anything ill to say of each other and even after they both remarried but remained friends.

When Dad remarried, it was to a woman named Brenda (Holtsclaw) Johnson. She had 2 young children from a previous marriage named Jay and Bethany. These became mine and Eric’s "bonus siblings." Shortly after that, my Dad and Brenda had 2 sons they named Alex and Nic. So now he was the father of 6 children, who he loved dearly, and they loved him back. One thing I personally noticed was he never, ever, ever not once used the term “step” in any of his relationships... and I feel the best way for me and anyone else to honor him is for no one to never, ever, ever refer to any of his family members with that reference. I remember when I first heard him call Bethany his "baby girl" ... I stopped, I looked, and then I had to accept it, that he had enough love for both of us to be his baby girl, plus I was 10 and she was 2... it was later as adults that I reflected back on it after I sat on the phone with him as he sobbed for the loss of his daughter Bethany... he hadn't seen her in years because not too many years later after Alex and Nic were born, Dad got what was considered a 3rd strike according to Missouri’s new habitual offender laws that gave an automatic sentence of 20 to life.

Up to this point his life had already had some turbulence, but this began the tailspin of his life, his marriage, and when his children would take the biggest loss of all being the loss of a loving dad, that adored them. The relationships suffered and a lot of pain from that loss of a father followed. He fought that case and sentence for the next decade before finally winning a reduction in sentencing. When he finally got parole, his young children were now grown now, and life had gone on without him, but each of them in adulthood did reunite with him, even though for most of them it had been many years since anyone had taken them to see him.

The reason I bring this up is because of course many fathers love their children, but not all fathers have the capacity of love that he had for his kids... when he was with us kids, he did to try to give us the best experience he could... He was the kind of Dad that would get down on the floor with us, wrestle & play, eat cereal, while watching WWF and Saturday morning cartoons. He would sneak his kids’ cookies for breakfast and a drink of his Pepsi. Even kids that were not his own kids loved him and many call him "Uncle Kenny". He is every one of his nieces and nephew’s favorite Uncle for sure. I believe it was because if you were in his presence, he made you feel heard, loved, understood, and special. When little kids approached him, he stopped and listened. They thought it was because what they had to say was important,, but really it was because they amused him. My favorite thing was if they were acting up, he would say, “Stop acting like a little kid.” It usually confused them enough to stop and stare at him wondering if he knew they actually were a little kid, which again amused him.

Now, am I saying he did everything right? No, not at all, but did he do some things right? Absolutely! He gave non-judgmental, unconditional love to his children, to his family, and to many others he called his family. He was not the one that was ever going to judge anyone or make them feel bad about themselves, which is one of many reasons that he has so many people across many cities that call him their "best friend" that absolutely adore him for the positive impact he had on their life because he stopped,, took the time to listen and assist any way he could... this is why people often start their Kenny Boyd stories with, " I'll never forget when he..."

This was the magic he had about him, and he knew he had a gift. The longer he lived, the more he learned how to use it for good to help others that were going down the wrong path, and the better person he became by helping other avoid his mistakes. So many people love him to a measure that many others really may not quite understand... because if you really know him in heart and spirit, then you would also know that he was a very sensitive soul with a huge heart and capacity to care for others to the point he'd put himself on the line time and time again to help you if he called you his friend .

If you look at his record, but not know him as a person, then you would think he was a “bad apple,” but if you knew him personally, then you know that under all those bruises that there was the “sweetest apple.”

His mother and his brother knew his heart was good inspire of his choices.. . And they both stood by him through all his “times of trouble.” The friends he had from his youth, (that are still alive) are still his friends to this day. That says a lot for someone who lived a “life in the fast lane" because many will lose everyone they ever had, but he did not. It may be because although he could not seem to avoid trouble, he tried real hard to make sure he never brought trouble his loved ones way . Some believe that he stayed away from home to keep any trouble away and that it was his loyalty, love, and self-sacrifice. Others believe he should have just simply lived his life in a manner that did not have risks of trouble associated with it... but the end of the day, it is all just personal perspective, and may he that is without sin, cast the first stone, but let those that have also been given grace, mercy, and forgiveness, likewise give it in return.

The thing about him was, he did not care if you were the President of the United States or the homeless man on the corner, either way, he would have the same conversation with you, in the same tone of voice. It did not make any difference to him if you were rich or poor, what your title or your position of power was, he respected the person’s humanity, not their title or status. That is because he knew, that if he, a very highly intelligent man, could end up in prison, come out years later and be broke that anyone else could too, Anyone who knows him always comment how intelligent he was... and his vocabulary was impressive to say the least... he knew he was above average intelligence and this is why he always had a plan, he always had an Ace up his sleeve because life had already taught him at a young age that the best of plans don’t always come to fruition, but what kept him going, plan after plan, was because sometimes, just sometimes, things fall into place and his plans did come to fruition! Have you ever heard, "too smart for your own good?" This is my Dad...

As many of you know, during his last few weeks of life, he was very ill. He was in the hospital for 20 days before he passed of complications of Pneuemonia after also acquiring Covid while at the hospital. During his time in the hospital, many, many, people came to visit him. This past couple of weeks while on quarantine from my own Covid, I've been reflecting on these last visits I had with my father. One thing I found interesting, is that the nurses and respiratory therapists said his oxygen level would increase on its own when he had company! So this told me his being with others and visiting is what nurtured his health on an actual physical level. They also told me when I came in the room that his whole eyes and face would light up and he would get in a very good mood! More than one said they could tell he loved me a whole lot from the change in him when I came to visit. I replied to his respiratory therapist, “yes, we both love each other very much, you could even say its “gobs and bunches” and I looked at him and smiled... tears poured down his cheeks because he knew I remembered how he signed his letters to us kids when he was incarcerated when we were young. He tried to explain to the nurse why he was crying, but could not get his words out, so I said, he is crying because he was not always a good boy, but he is going to be one now and I gave him the sideways look raising my eyebrows. He laughed and cried at the same time. As I reflected, I do think we both enjoyed amusing the other...

When he later in the week went into the ICU, he was cut off liquids because of the initial pneumonia that put him in there was from aspiration. Several days into this, with no food or drinks, not even water, he told the nurse on duty that he would die for a cold Pepsi right now (and there happened to be a 12-pack sitting on the window that someone had brought for him), so she felt compassion and swabbed his mouth with some of that Pepsi. She thought he was going to tell on her to me, so panicking, she told on herself, not knowing he would never expose anyone for anything they did or did not do, as part of who he was, but I was perplexed. I looked at him and her and wondered how, no matter how old he got, for some reason, he could still get women to do what he wanted, even if they should not. It was baffling how much he could pull off, especially with women. It really was like some magic Kenny spell he cast on them. Again, he knew it because he would often tell me when I looked confused at what was occurring, “it’s like magic… only different.” It was a way of life for him though and it made him popular. His magic will have people sending their condolences for many years to come as they find out that he has passed on.

Today those of us here are going to honor him by eating his favorite foods, Mexican, (no sour cream), Hominy, Goulash, and the kids are going to enjoy his favorite desserts, cookies, and ice cream (no Mint) and in rememberence of him, we are going to drink a Pepsi for him.

I want to thank everyone for coming and welcome anyone to share their favorite stories or memories of him in this celebration of life.