I was sworn to secrecy but I suppose I can share without undue embarrassment.
I wish I recalled the year and how we ended up in a game arcade.
Dina spied put this driving simulation game. She called me over and said with a conspiratorial tone, ‘hey, help me try driving that car…’
The set up had a steering wheel, gas & break as well as a shift. She was able to drive her scooter close and turn the seat towards the game. She could reach the breaks/gas and steering wheel. She couldn’t reach the gear shift so I was in charge of that.
She was ready to roll, as usual but in the game, the roll slowed and crashed. Oops!! Had to try again and very little improvement. We laughed and laughed at the intersection of dependence and independent driving her arcade game into manifesting driving a car.
I knew she had read about the adaptive driving simulator program available at Sharp memorial extensive rehabilitation center.
The game wasn’t real but for Dina, it was a step towards her desire. It all crashed literally and figuratively, however, we laughed unabashedly.
Then she made me promise to not ever tell her family!!
This experience left me with many thoughts about the things she hid inside about her debilitating disability.
I recall her mom being so happy that Dina and I became close friends and she said that Dina avoids close friendships with others who have autoimmune arthritis & she felt driven to fit in among the majority. For whatever reason, she allowed me into some of her hidden places including the ‘game’ simulation to inner dreams.
I feel honored that she saw me as safe to be close with and perhaps allowed herself to befriend someone with juvenile arthritis too.
I’m glad that I was a large part of Dina’s life from age 17 to our UCSD graduation in 2006.
Unfortunately due to various reasons, we grew distant. I’m sad about the lost years, however I’m filled with many memories including some hidden vulnerabilities she found me safe to express.
I’m so grateful that we had a long ride together but unfortunately the road less traveled was detoured to a unexpected dead end.
I won’t forget our travels, detours, forks and taking the scenic route.
Thankfully Dina drove her scooter (her ride from age 12). Years Latter, I was with her as she upgraded to the corvette powerchair. Dina always traveled at full forward throttle and rarely hit the brakes for potholes and speed bumps…
I loved you then and still love you now now despite our divergent paths