Scattering moms ashes into the carribbean sea. We hiked to a private 'natural pool', went snorkeling and took a moment to show mom how we doing. Right afterwards, a bunch of goats appeared
Deb painting done in DC, circa 1987. Was harking back to a sailboat trip from NYC to Domenica done several years prior. Now hanging in my cabin in norcal.
I remember the first time I met Mama Brown—it was at a clothing swap at Ayliffe’s house in West Oakland. She noticed that I was totally smitten with a crush (who happened to be at the party) and we talked about it for just a moment, but I could tell how giddy she was about young love from the way her face lit up. I think she also noticed that my crush was into me, and her glances for the rest of the night seemed to say “I’m rooting for you two!”
I never had the pleasure of meeting Deborah, but I feel like I got to know her and what a kind, thoughtful mother she was through my (almost daily) interaction with Ayliffe over the past 3 years. I can’t count the number of times I heard about a beautiful bouquet of flowers, some bottles of homemade limoncello, or any number of other care packages that showed up at Ayliffe’s door to brighten her day. It was crystal clear that this was a thoughtful and caring person who always wanted to let her daughter know that she was loved and thinking of her. What an amazing, supportive presence to have as a matriarch. Plus, her work as an organizer was instrumental in turning Georgia blue- what a badass! What a beautiful legacy.
In 1988, when I was 16 years old, my dad and I lived with Deborah for almost a year in Florida (long story). I was living the typical life of a teenager in high school without a care in the world. Deb helped me understand that the habits I was forming as a young person had the potential to follow me into adulthood. She invited me to attend an AA and NA meeting with her to help me gain perspective. I value that perspective to this day.
Later that year I was contemplating moving back to my hometown with my mom, who I had a falling out with the year prior. Deb literally sat down with me, a pen and paper. We sat and talked about my feelings toward my mom and how to communicate them on paper. I moved back with my mom and she kept that letter for years! Without Deb’s help that letter would never have happened.
I have kept in touch with Deb over the past 30+ years and we would always reminisce about my delinquent years in high school. Each time we spoke I thanked her for taking the time and caring enough to help me even when she hardly knew me. She is one of the kindest souls I have ever met. Thank you Deb, for being a positive influence in my life and so many others.