Buttercup "Butters" Belle Rouhani, left this earth on November 2, 2024. Since 2010, she brought love into our lives in an immeasurable way. Butters may have been a small Lhasa Apso, but embodied the presence of a lion in the highest mountain-top with a roar that echoed across villages. She was a part of many of our milestones, from breakups, graduations, weddings, losses, moving across the country, pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and most recently being the best big sister. She was our best friend, and as we go through this pain of reconciling with the loss of 15 years of joy we are reminded that the pain we feel today was worth the love of having a dog in our family. 

Is it the warmth you create for me when I go to bed?

the heavy secure feeling holding you, touching you brings?

the softness when you rub your body against mine?

the pitter patter of paws breaking the quiet stillness of human solitude?

the secure gaze from across the room, reminding me I'm safe, I'm not alone.

the search for joy of you when I wake up?

the search for solace of you before going to bed?

the sigh, the snore, the bark, the squeaking toy, the floor scratch, the joy you brought me every time I opened the door of our home?

half of my life of this.

consistency, stability, loyalty, love.

now everything is different.

you are gone.

i am me because of you. 

you taught me a love I never knew and that I cannot replicate.

i love you forever, butters, you know that?

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