Bruce was a wonderful husband, father, brother, son and friend. His passing leaves a void in my heart and soul only he could fill. I miss being blessed with his gentle and loving presence in my life each day. I’m so grateful he is no longer suffering, but I miss him more than you can imagine, and hate the thought of living without him by my side. Our lives were deeply entwined because when we married, God made us one, and his impact on my heart and life goes to the core of my being.

Bruce loved people like no one I’ve ever met. His ability to make everyone feel comfortable, secure and loved were some of his greatest strengths. His love was crafted from his incredible faith in God. He reflected the grace and love God calls all of us to show, as Christlike as possible in our humanness. He was incredibly intelligent, and yet he humbly responded to others with acceptance, graciously lifting them up to allow them to feel accepted and included, regardless of their background, point of view, or agenda. He had a gift of making people feel at ease, included, and heard, and for speaking truth and sharing wisdom in a gentle and compassionate manner. He was generous with his time, wisdom, heart and energy. Bruce embraced life purposely and took pleasure in living a full and rewarding life. Conversation came easily for him and he was so good at nurturing many lasting friendships. I loved his passion for his faith, his willingness to openly share his faith when asked, and even more importantly, live his faith through all these years. He humbly and gently loved people where they were and in accepting them, provided an opportunity for them to learn who Jesus is from him. I love him for the amazing person he was.

Bruce knew how to cherish a childlike spirit. I can’t tell you how many times he said it’s ok to have fun and be a kid again. He loved going to Disney World, riding rollercoasters, and dressing in something that will make people stop and notice – and perhaps smile. He asked me to sew him a pair of bright orange overalls in our first year of marriage. Now these were almost florescent orange. He wanted to demonstrate to the young people in our first church where he was the pastor that “Nothing can snatch you out of God’s hands,” based on John 10: 25-30:

Jesus answered, “I told you, but you don’t believe. Everything I have done has been authorized by my Father, actions that speak louder than words. You don’t believe because you’re not my sheep. My sheep recognize my voice. I know them, and they follow me. I give them real and eternal life. They are protected from the Destroyer for good. No one can steal them from out of my hand. The Father who put them under my care is so much greater than the Destroyer and Thief. No one could ever get them away from him. I and the Father are one heart and mind.”

You see, many of the young people grew up in a hell, fire and brimstone atmosphere at church. Several shared with Bruce they felt like they stood out like a sore thumb and could never fit in or be good enough for the God they grew up to know. Bruce took off his black preacher’s robe and stood in the pulpit in his obnoxious overalls to not only demonstrate to them in a very relatable way how being “different” is not only okay, but God creates each of us as unique and individual as a fingerprint. His message was about how much God loves us and cherishes each one and calls us to be His sheep and follow Him and He will protect and care for them. This message reached the hearts of many that day and may have even saved some. Bruce loved to share the love of God.

He loved his stuffed animals: koala bears we collected in our early married years, and a special bunny I gave him one Easter – followed by a couple more later. His bunny went to Rome with him when he got to sing with the Holy Redeemer Catholic Church Choir, including singing for Pope John Paul II.

He loved Snoopy and the Peanuts gang. We got him several stuffed and animated Snoopy’s over the years. Last Christmas, I centered our Christmas decorations around a Snoopy theme. We had the Peanuts gang lit up to welcome guests coming to the door, as well as a wreath, tree skirt, ornaments, and blinking lighted garland that played Snoopy themed Christmas songs.

I remember midnight runs to Swenson’s in Washington DC just because we loved doing it, driving right past the White House and all the historic buildings, telling each other how very beautiful it was. We made spontaneous trips to Orlando just to have Giordano’s Pizza. We could make the trip out and back in a day before Bruce got sick, and we were blessed to be able to plan an overnight stay a few times when that much travel at once became too much.

One of our favorite things was having annual passes to Disney. When we were young and before Alana came into our lives, we used them often, sometimes just to go walk around a park at night after work and spend some time together. We loved to host family and friends and share days at the parks with them. For several years, it was our pleasure to spend the day with friends taking lots of pictures and creating a memory book for them to take home with them. When we were blessed with Alana, we loved taking her and introducing her to all the rides, sights and sounds, characters and events. It was especially wonderful at Christmas and going to Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party was something we did every chance we could. It became our favorite tradition for celebrating our wedding anniversary and Alana’s Adoption Day. We celebrated our last Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party together with Mark and Amy, Bruce’s brother and sister-in-law, making what I hoped would be something special we could look back on in the future when my heart ached to be with him again.

Music was a big part of our marriage. When we first met, it was because Bruce went to help sing at the Saturday night Mass our group sang at while we were at Oral Roberts University. We had about 20 songs in our wedding, a bunch played while guests entered the church and were seated, and then throughout the ceremony. Some of those songs we continued to sing throughout our lives. Bruce played guitar and piano and he played Beginning Today, the Wedding Prayer and the Wedding Song on many occasions. We had many songs at Alana’s baptism ceremony. Alana grew up singing and dancing with Bruce. When she was little she would twirl in circles for hours while Bruce played piano for her. She joined choirs and choruses and loved to have Bruce help her warmup by playing scales on the piano. Bruce was part of the Holy Redeemer Church Choir and was able to travel to Rome with them to sing for the Pope. Even silly songs were a big part, especially with Bruce’s family. He and his brothers sang Those Magnificent Men and Their Flying Machines with and for their Dad at lots of family gatherings, as well as The Spearmint Song, Christmas Carols, and of course many hymns and contemporary Christian music songs. When we traveled on long road trips we loved to sing together. When Bruce’s Mom was in the hospital dying, everyone in the family gathered in her hospital room and sang her favorite hymns right up to the time she entered heaven’s throne room.

Bruce’s final gift was his earthly body. He donated his brain through the Brain Support Network to Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, FL not only so we could get a firm diagnosis of what stole his life from us, but also to share his journey through Lewy so others following behind might benefit if something could be learned to help diagnose and hopefully cure the disease. The rest of him was donated to Science Care to participate in an average of six different medical research and training programs. These programs support the development of advanced surgical procedures, techniques, instrumentation and treatment options for disease, injury and illness of all kinds.

The measure of a life, after all, is not its duration but its donation.
~Corrie ten Boom

When we lose someone we love, we don’t learn to live without them, but how to live with the love they left behind.