Dear Zachary,

For the last 17 years we’ve spent so many of them trying to save each other from ourselves. When things went a way for me I never thought possible , the entire way you were there encouraging me however you could to make my way home to our baby girl. You held my place and made it look effortless. You were born to be her father. She will never forget all the things she’s learned from you, and I wouldn’t wish it any other way. All I see is you in her now. I saw so much of you before , now she beams it. It’s heartbreaking and beautiful all at the same time. You were my first true meaning of love. You gave me the gift of love at first heart beat and a purpose to never give up and always fight for. If not for you and your mama, I don’t know where my place would be with our baby. If not for you I don’t know where I’d even be right now.. Every single road both of us took led us to where we are now. It physically hurts that where you are isn’t HERE. You should be here and as long as I’m breathing I’ll always feel that way. You were selfless is every sense. You were also stubborn in every sense too. Those two things mixed didn’t make for a good combination all the time. It eats at me that I couldn’t help you the way you’ve helped me to be here right now with our baby. We still needed you. We still wanted you. We always will. You weren’t just her dad. We were sandbox babies and you were my best fucking friend. So many people have left before you and I’ve never felt a pain so bad. The deflection only last so long. The facade can only stay on for so long too. It doesn’t matter. Whether I’m in auto pilot , survival, crying until I can’t breathe, or sitting in deafening silence , the pain is just beginning. I told you so many times I can’t imagine a world without you in it and now I’m living it and I can’t accept this even though it’s all happened right before my eyes. You promise me , you promise us… That’s my own selfishness wishing you kept it, yet knowing wherever you are has to be far greater than here. 

No more pain, no more sadness, no more sleepless nights of emptiness and despair.. Your blood still runs in bodies here on earth and as long as our hearts our beating you will never truly die. 

I love you forever Zachary Nader Al-Zayer

Keep us all safe here. Until we meet again.

Love Always, Catherine. 

My dear brother,

Writing this is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I can't imagine a life without you! this pain is overwhelming…. I miss you deeply, more than words can express.

Though we didn't grow up together, from the moment we met, it felt like you had always been a part of my life. I love you more than you could ever know. You always made sure we all were happy and safe!

I know you wanted to be with your Mom, but for us, it feels way too soon. I longed for more memories with you, and I know they will never be enough. It's truly touching to see the love from everyone around you🥹! You deserve to be loved and remembered till infinity.

Please forgive me for the distance that kept us apart. I wish I could have been there with you in your final days. You will forever hold a place in my heart. Till we meet again …I love you❤️.

Dear brother,

Your passing destroyed us in ways we cannot describe. I’m sorry, I didn’t get the chance to say that I love you and to say that I’ll miss you. It hurts, I never said goodbye.Though we only spent a few days together I’ll forever hold onto the memories we had, and will always cherish the moments we shared. I will always be grateful for the times you supported me when I was at my lowest.I hoped to have you longer and I was looking forward to seeing you again, but that wasn’t meant to be.Your presence may be gone, but your impact will never fade away. We think about you always; you have never been forgotten and never will be. I know in my soul you are in a place with no pain, anxiety, or worry.You’re in a better place and I know that you’re happy there. I wish for you to come back, but I don’t want you to suffer again. We hold you close in our hearts, and there you will remain.

My dear brother,

Words can’t describe the sadness we feel after you passed. We only met each other once and I wish we could’ve spent more time together. You were kind and passionate about what you like, a talented cook, and you always made us laugh. I learned from you that being the older brother has a lot of responsibilities and making sacrifices to take care of your family no matter what obstacles comes in the way. You took good care of your daughter Aameira and you did a great job raising her the way she became a smart, kind, and strong person that she is. You were always there for us, helped us, and guided us when we needed you, and I wish we could’ve been always together. I’ll never forget the great moments we had together, when we stayed late at night describing our childhoods growing up and having deep talks full of joy, laughter, and cries. I’ll never forget the time when I overslept and you elbow dropped me to wake me up, I still didn’t get the chance to have my revenge. I’m glad you grew up with great people who love you and cherish your memories. We’ll never forget you brother and we love you. Go on your journey now, where you’ll be in a forever peace with your mother and the people you love. Thank you for everything you taught us, the uplifting, and the love you gave us ❤️.