When I first met the Smith family in the late 80s, I remember that when the family gathered for a birthday or holiday meal they would first stand in a circle, hold hands, and close their eyes. Then Tom would lead a prayer.

He would begin with "Heavenly Father" and proceed. I wasn't at all into a patriarchal definition of an omnipotent anything, so I would keep my eyes open and think my own thoughts.

As the years passed, Tom began to change his language into more inclusive words: “All-knowing, All-loving Spirit....” Sometimes the words were slow to come, as he’d struggle to avoid the conventional words and concepts. There'd be a pause as he tried hard to find the very best words to bring us together in love, thankfulness, and respect for one another. I would watch the faces of the grandchildren and imagine the impact on their budding souls, to hear Tom’s intentional words.

As time went on Tom seemed increasingly radical and urgent in his message – caring for and respecting our planet became a fundamental part. Tom's environmental concerns were clear. He certainly had the reduce/reuse/recycle down as part of his own daily life! Tom could make a measuring cup out of a used water bottle, or fashion a walking stick from a fallen tree limb. And he had dozens of uses for old shoe laces and twistie ties.

Sometime in the past however many years, Tom stopped doing the before-a-meal message, and I thought to ask him about that many, many times. I really wish I had asked him.