I am so sorry for your loss. Death is unfair and an extremely difficult thing to confront. Soon Jehovah God will rid us of death and all the pain that comes with it. (Revelation 21:4) I hope that during this trialing time you find comfort and strength to endure till you can see William again.
Dad, I was up all night last night just trying to remember everything. Every significant memory I could think up. I don't want to forget anything. I thought of times we'd argued, horrible things I said to you. And that sent me into a spiral. But then I started thinking of the fun times, head banging to random 80s hair bands in the van, that trip to Disney just the two of us, that one time you took me school clothes shopping was the first time I was ever able to pick out what I WANTED to wear. Then I started trying to remember the earliest memory and that's where things got fuzzy. I'm not sure what came first. I remember waking up crying in the middle of the night and going to the hall closet and pulling out a picture of you and my grandma put me back to bed with the photo. That must have been while you were away at boot camp, so early 1990? I was barely 2. I also remember you taking me on a motorcycle ride around Meemaw and Papa's old neighborhood and we ran out of gas and you had to put me on your back and push that giant motorcycle all the way home. Not sure when that was. It doesn't matter which is the FIRST. I just can't believe that I also have a LAST. The last time I saw you, the last time your name popped up on my phone, the last time I heard your voice. Fuck. I can't believe it. What are we all gonna do without you?