Vivian J. Trethewey (née Golos)

(September 11, 1926 – February 7, 2026)

We mourn the loss of Vivian J. Trethewey, a devoted community leader and cherished family matriarch of Abbotsford. After a remarkable century, Vivian passed away peacefully on February 7, 2026, in Abbotsford, BC.

Born a twin beside her brother Ivan in the historic village of Clayburn, Vivian grew up in the Fraser Valley with a strong sense of place, work ethic, and generosity passed down from her parents, Mary, a Scottish immigrant, and Michael, a father whose early work at the Clayburn brick kiln shaped her enduring resilience. Her memories of Abbotsford’s early days and summers spent picking raspberries painted a portrait of a girl who would become a lifelong builder of community.

Vivian’s early years charted a path of leadership and connection. The badminton courts were where she formed enduring friendships and networks, and where she met her lifelong partner, Alan Trethewey. She pursued nursing at UBC, joined Gamma Phi Beta, and balanced a spectrum of roles with grace, from caregiver and ally to mentor. From modest beginnings, they forged a life that honored collaboration, hard work, and care for others.

A tireless advocate for others, Vivian co-founded the MSA Society and pursued many charitable initiatives. She was honored with the BC Achievement Community Award in 2019 for a lifetime of philanthropy and civic engagement, including founding gifts to the Abbotsford Foundation and major support for the Fraser Valley Health Care Foundation. Her generosity became part of the community’s fabric; she believed deeply in giving back and often offered help and resources to those in need. Her ability to see the humanity in every person made her a trusted friend, mentor, and ally to many.

Her kitchen nourished a growing family with abundant energy. Vibrant raspberry jam in hundred-jar batches, 20-pound + roasts, and supersized Yorkshire puddings fed five sons and their expanding families including 13 grandchildren and many great-grandchildren. She was always in motion, microwaving coffee to fuel the next task - never stationary long enough to drink it fresh and hot. Her hands were magic, able to hold the hottest pan, with fingers known to improve the taste of ice cream.

A lifelong learner, Vivian embraced new experiences with curiosity, even when she joked about not mastering every modern device. She rode a Harley and celebrated her 90th birthday by stepping out of an airplane, exclaiming that she could feel her wrinkles flapping in the wind - a small, luminous reminder of a life lived fully and fearlessly.

Vivian’s impact extended far beyond her immediate family. She was a pillar of Abbotsford, a leader who invited neighbors into her home, a steward of local heritage, and a mentor to countless volunteers. Her legacy includes not only a thriving family but also a community that grew stronger because of her presence, her contributions, and her unwavering commitment to helping those in need.

She was preceded in death by her husband, Alan; her sons Derek and Regan; her parents, Mary and Michael Golos; and her siblings, Ivan Golos and Janet Graham. She leaves behind her sons Bruce, Brig, and Will; and numerous grandchildren and great-grandchildren, who will carry on her raspberry-picking traditions. She also leaves behind countless friends and a community she helped to build.

In honor of a life so beautifully lived, a celebration will be held for Vivian at a place filled with love and laughter. Please join us on February 28, 2026, between 1:00 PM and 4:00 PM to share stories and raise a glass to her memory. This will be followed by a private gathering for immediate family. 

Please RSVP to viviantretheweymemorial@gmail…, and you may also send your sentiments to the same address for the family. The family will confirm receipt of your RSVP and share further details about the event location and program.

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