Tong was my beloved 表哥, an effortlessly cool and handsome older cousin and big brother figure who was always up for any kind of fun.

In childhood, I once took a peek into his teenage room in Taipei and saw a skull sitting on his bookshelf, telling me this room belonged to someone bold and unafraid. I remember him patiently helping me construct and fill an album for my then-burgeoning stamp collection, showing me how to use a razor blade to make precision cuts. Another time, he thrillingly zoomed through a yellow light on our way to the movies and then tried to convince me with a wink that it was good luck to do so when tapping on a rain-splattered windshield, as he was doing. It was always a thrill when 表哥 came to visit.

Throughout the years, whenever we were able to get together, Tong brought that same spirit: enthusiastically guiding me through a highlights tour of Chicago with Selina; during family reunions, diving in to provide an extra pair of hands or dig into the feast in a rental house kitchen or to be the first to brave its hot tub (or deal with a snake underneath its pullout couch!).

Tong wasn’t afraid to have big feelings, either. I recall his tearful embrace of support at our doorstep when he flew in for my mother’s funeral and also his tears of joy as he beamed with pride at Selina and Yanni’s (and many other family members’) life milestones. I will treasure our memories together forever, and hope that they can provide some solace for everyone whom he touched.

9/26/1955 - 1/21/2026

No one prepares you for this. It isn’t fair that we were robbed of the father we knew for the past seven years. Almost immediately after you passed, I stopped thinking about who you had become and remembered you for who you were before the stroke changed everything. That is how I choose to remember you.

We will remember you as “Candy” Shu Shu , whose favorite store was Menards. You were the dad who took us to the library to rent movies every week, chauffeured us around listening to Spice Girls and the dad who always called to check in, and left annoying voicemails, which I’m so grateful for now.

Thank you for giving us the life we have, for working relentlessly to provide and set us up for success. You were frugal and resourceful, keeping things long past their usefulness and even bringing things home others had thrown away. Some might have called you a hoarder, but you didn’t want to things to go to waste.

Thank you for your patience, whether you were helping us through math homework, putting that engineering masters degree to good use or teaching us how to drive. You gave us your time, your effort, whenever you could.

Thank you for believing in us and holding us to high standards. From our annual New Year’s recap and resolution presentations to the everyday pride you taught us to take in our home and belongings, you showed us what responsibility, care, and commitment look like.

Thank you for your strength as the patriarch of this family. You’ve taught us all to keep our heads held high and hope to move onward and upward.

Most importantly, thank you for always being there. You would always answer the phone whenever we called, which is why you’re still my number one contact in my favorites. You were always there if I had car issues or if something else needed to be fixed and if I needed advice. You also never hesitated to drive me to school and back home that same day. I wish I never took you for granted.

We’ll miss your whistling, off beat hip shakes, the smell of Folgers, handwriting and voice. I will miss listening to music together, sharing food and driving around with you as you take in the scenery. I am so grateful for the memories we had together.

I am glad that you are no longer in pain and suffering in this world. I promise to take care of Mom and Yanni and to make sure Greysen grows up knowing his Ye ye and the kind of man you were. One day, I’ll take him and Ryan to visit you in Taiwan. Love you forever and always. Cheers. 

I loved my cousin Tong very much and am glad to be able to share a few memories of him here.  My earliest recollections are from the 1980s - we visited his bachelor accommodations and there was a poster of some old guy on his wall - and that's how I first learned about Albert Einstein.   One afternoon when I was 7 or 8 and he was a handsome young guy in his 20s he let us tackle him to the ground and he lay there patiently while we applied gobs of makeup to his face.   Lots of giggling and laughter.   I really wish someone had taken a photo, but cameras weren't as ubiquitous then as now.   

I remember Tong and Hui's wedding in Chicago - even as a kid I was touched by the beauty of the moment and the incredible love that surrounded that day.   We watched him become a proud husband and an even prouder father to Selina and Yanni, and as the years rolled on I saw him at weddings and reunions and he was always a lover of life, full of joy, bursting with pride about his family and always up for a good time.   He liked to hang out with the "kids" at the reunions and hear what we were up to; he was always up for a drink and a story.  He absolutely wore his heart on his sleeve.   We had fun.  In 2013 at John's wedding we were at the hotel, in between events, and he tried to get a hotel manager to serve us a drink.  They explained they could only do that at the bar.   Tong said, let's go to the bar.  They explained they had no bar staff (it was 4:30).  Tong said, no problem, i can be the bar staff.  We all went to open up the bar but it turned out everything was locked up and there was no key.  Defeated, we crossed the parking lot to Chili's and had a great time drinking margaritas and eating nachos.  

He was very close to my mom, and I'll always remember that when we lost her to cancer in 2015 he flew out from Chicago for the day to make sure he could attend her service and bid her farewell before flying back home that night to work his evening shift.   Later that year we were in Taiwan together, and he guessed I was pregnant before anyone else knew.  (No margaritas, I suppose).  I'm so glad we saw him in 2021 at Selina and Ryan's wedding.  When he met my little girls there - aged 3 and 5 - he cried, and I think I did too.

I last saw him in Taiwan in December.  He was in the hospital, and it was only a few minutes, but I tried to tell him everything I could and make sure he knew how much he was loved, and how we will pull together and take care of Hui, Yanni, Selina, Ryan and Greysen.   I'll love you always, Tong.