Thomas J. Laffey, 81, of Allentown, PA passed away in the early hours of May 30, 2024. His death was the result of Alzheimer’s Disease which had been diagnosed in 2016. In the weeks leading up to his death he was surrounded by loved ones and caregivers. He always had many smiles and winks to anyone who visited, especially his four grandchildren. He was a devoted husband of 51 years to the late Joan M. Laffey. Born on December 2, 1942 in Pittsburgh, PA he was the son of the late Miles and Mary Laffey. Tom is survived by his daughter, Rebecca Laffey, mother to Madeline and Thomas Farrell and his son, Timothy Laffey, father to Myles and Camille Laffey, his sister, Adele Laffey (James Latiano) and his brother Jerry Laffey. He was predeceased by his older brother Myles Laffey (Nancy Budds).

One of the greatest joys in Tom’s life were his grandchildren who always made his face light up. He played a huge role in their lives, even retiring to help care for his first born grandchild and continuing to be a great source of support for all four of them throughout their lives. He would play with them for hours creating made up games and always making them laugh.

Throughout his life Tom was dedicated to improving the lives of others. From his work as a School Psychologist for over 30 years, his volunteering at soup kitchens, nursing homes, and with his church, to his many donations to charitable organizations he championed, Tom was a constant source of strength and support to all of those around him. His brother Jerry recalls Tom speaking many times of all the love and support that he received in his childhood and adolescent years from family and that certainly had a lasting impact. He received a Master’s Degree in School Psychology from Bryn Mawr University. Prior to that he attended the Seminary at St. Francis College, studying for the priesthood for many years, then working in prisons and a variety of youth centers.

 Tom was always an avid reader and writer. He and Joan kept journals all throughout their lives. Tom was so thoughtful and poetic when it came to writing notes to Joan throughout their years together. He was her rock and even in his later stages of Alzheimer’s he would still sit calmly with her on their patio enjoying a drink, usually Guinness. Tom met Joan when he moved to York, PA at the age of 15. They had an immediate connection and Joan often told of seeing him for the first time as he walked into class wearing a sport coat with books stuffed in both pockets. Even after going their separate ways for about 10 years, they remained close and after reuniting, they married in June, 1971. She truly was the love of his life.

Faith was always important to Tom. While a devout Catholic, he also read and became very knowledgeable about all religions worldwide. He and Joan were very involved in their church of many years, Notre Dame of Bethlehem. He was a lifelong learner (taking many classes even after hisAlzheimer’s diagnosis) and could talk for hours on many subjects, particularly religion, history, politics and of course sports, especially if it was a Pittsburgh or Philly team.

Everyday of Tom’s life included some kind of physical activity. He played football and basketball in high school and continued to play basketball throughout his life. He and Joan were formidable tennis partners, winning many tournaments over the years. He continued to play with his tennis buddies and with Joan a few times a week into his 70’s. Running was also very important to Tom. While he mostly ran for enjoyment and fitness, he did train and run the JFK 50 miler! As it became too difficult to run, he walked …and walked… and walked. Throughout his life you could always count on there being some kind of sport at family gatherings and parties. From football on the beach, baseball at the park, hours of tennis, racing his kids and then grandchildren on the beach or at the track, to hiking with Joan, he showed his love of physical activity.

Tom also loved the ocean and the Jersey shore, and he was instrumental in the family acquiring a second home in Ocean City, NJ. He and Joan took every opportunity to spend time there with family and friends, and especially the grandkids. Over the years there were numerous family gatherings there to celebrate Thanksgiving, March Madness, anniversaries, summer vacations, and just being together. Tom realized the importance of making memories that last a lifetime.

Tom had his quirks, which family and friends were fond of. He ordered a Wheaties bucket hat from a box of Wheaties and wore it for years and years. He had a unique fashion sense, often going for runs wearing his son’s crocheted Ernie (from Sesame Street) hat, not because he didn’t have his own hat but because, well, it was comfortable and most likely because he knew it would bring a smile to people’s faces.

For the last two years of his life he resided at Arden Courts, a memory care home in Allentown. When family and friends would visit they never knew exactly where they would find him as he loved to walk the halls and the courtyard interacting with staff and residents. In his last days there it was incredibly apparent how loved he was (despite being quite a handful at times!). Many stories were told about him handing out rocks that he had collected, all of the apples he could consume, and how he always loved to “share” the lunches and snacks the caregivers brought for their lunches. Even in his later stages of Alzheimer’s Tom touched many lives and his core personality never left him. When you visited Tom at Arden you always left with a full heart.

We love you and hold you in our hearts forever Tom, Dad, and Pop Pop.

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