He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
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Tom came to visit us in Coeur d' Alene during Expo 74. I was fifteen and this was the first time I had met my uncle. Over the following decades, I would see Tom on only a hand full of occasions. When I did see him, it was always in the confines of a family gathering which made meaningful conversation difficult. My limited impression of Tom was that of a reserved, dignified, albeit enigmatic figure. This distance always bothered me, and I tended to blame him for it.
As I grew older and learned more about temperament, personality, and family dynamics, I came to realize this was a foolish attitude. I accepted Tom for who he was. But, this meant I was going to have to take the initiative. In May of 21 I traveled to Sarasota and had a lovely time getting to know my uncle on one-to-one basis. I discovered a kind, helpful and polite gentleman. The kind of man our society could use a lot more of.
He was sick and so there were limitations on what he was up for. But, we managed. One day. he showed off the community garden he labored in. His resemblance to my grandfather in this setting was striking.
I suspected this was the last time I would see my uncle but closure was so important. It was time and money well spent.
Paul Decker
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Thinking about and missing my dear Tom today. Three years!
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2022, Bushnell National Cemetery Ceremonial Assembly Area, Bushnell, FL, USA
Box of Tom’s ashes, decoupaged with photos and memorabilia.
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2022, Bushnell National Cemetery Ceremonial Assembly Area, Bushnell, FL, USA
Box containing Tom’s ashes.
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2023, National Cemetery, Bushnell, FL
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2023, National Cemetery Bushnell, FL
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March 17th, 2023. Gone one year and terribly missed. Not one day has gone by that he hasn’t been remembered. 💙
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Judy, I am sorry to hear of Tom’s passing. I regret that I never got to meet him; he sounded like a kind, interesting and humorous person- a great match for you. The next weeks and months may be difficult but please remember we are all here for you, even if our digital presence is less than ideal. Take care of yourself too as you did so well for Tom.
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Judy, we loved Tom at the garden, not because he was so smart, could diagnose and fix anything, and taught us his craft with patience, but because he did it with his friendly smile, and such dedication and diligence that he earned instant respect. Even his stories of traveling were inspirational and again, educational. I will still expect him to ride up on his bike, with tool bag attached, to fix or improve something at the garden. We will miss our wonderful garden friend immensely.
Carol Russell Co-manager Culverhouse Community Garden
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