Dearest Sturg,

I think of you and miss you everyday. I hope you are resting comfortably. 

I will always love you.

DAD

Dear Dr. & Mrs. Karban, I am heartbroken in just learning this devastating news. Words will fall short of adequately reflecting the sorrow and my deep sympathies for you, Stephanie and your grand children's just devastating loss.

 Not sure if you remember I was Sturge's proctor his freshman year at DA but in those 9 short months he left indelible lifelong memories and in just the first week we were fast friends. Not a night went by without groundbreaking(ish) conversations or laughs in my or his room. The day I got into Brown, Sturge erupted in that signature high wattage smile gave me a huge hug and said "Brown!! That's great, almost ivy league!!" It was a funny joyful moment that like so many things with him I will never forget. He was 4 years younger and yet I was awestruck by his kind acute intelligence and a sense of humor seasoned far beyond his years. I was an immediate fan and admirer, tho regrettably from afar for now too many years. I truly thought the world of your son as every post here communicates, he brought such light that I know will be so missed. I am deeply sorry for your loss and so grateful the universe saw fit to put us across the hall from each other and the time sturges and I spent together, now almost 30 years ago. Thank you for sharing him! Humbly, gratefully and mournfully, Zac Cherry '97

To the Family of Sturges Karban:

I am profoundly sorry for your loss. The world is a little dimmer without Sturge. He was always full of surprises -- how could one guy be so talented across so many disciplines? I also remember the way Sturge interacted with our teachers and professors -- it was as though he was one of them;  more confident and bright and mature than the rest. Yet, he was relatable and fun to chat with. Sturge was truly an inspiration and an unforgettable classmate.

I am remembering Sturges with tremendous fondness and sending you comfort at this difficult time. 

To the Karban family, I'm sorry beyond all words for your loss. Sturge was an extraordinary human being and this world is a far smaller place without him in it. He was kind and gracious, and I shall forever miss his rapier wit. 

I know that there are no words to fill the holes in your hearts and souls, but I fervently hope that your memories carry you through the tough times ahead.

I'll think of him and smile every time I watch Murder by Death. 

Kindest regards,

Kristin Fox

Dearest Jonnie and Dr. Karban,

With tears in my eyes this is perhaps the worst, most painful news I have received yet. I am sure many of my classmates feel the heaviness on their hearts as well. Sturges was The Deerfield Cup Winner. He was our Leader for four great years. All the four-year DA class can recall what an impression and impact Sturges made on our small but tight knit 9th grade. We then moved on to sophomore year and Sturges pulled off an extraordinary speech to win his Presidency of our class. I remember that speech like it was yesterday. He stood in front of us in a large room in Johnson-Doubleday, he had us all stand up, looking at him then he turned around and said, now look who is leading...you all are. He was dramatic, poised, could have been so many different careers -- a lawyer, a statesman, a politician, a movie star, a producer, a speechwriter, a professor, a CIA guy..the list goes on and on.

We debated together for four years at DA and served on student council together. Mostly we argued over everything and nothing. Often folks teased our tough dynamic and called us “Hill & Bill.” When it was time for A Few Good Men….he got the part, I didn’t. We wanted all the same things in life and were driven by passion and hot-headedness.

He was more charismatic at 15 than most people are in their entire lives. Sturges, Andy, Ayr and I travelled to Victoria BC when we were just 16 years old with Mr. Gorski. Prior to that trip he and I spent the summer at Loomis-Chafee together with the best Debate/Public Speaking Coach, a former shark of a lawyer from St. Paul’s School, Mr. Katzenbach. While most of the students were being students of public speaking, somehow Sturges was teaching, again at only 16 alongside Mr. Katzenbach.

If there was a Doogie Houser at DA it was Sturges. We loved him. And if he knew how much we all loved him. At every Reunion the first question people would inevitably ask is, “Where is Sturges? How is he? What is he doing?”

I fortunately had a chance to see him a few times since our DA graduation 28 years ago. I saw him in Cambridge when he was at Harvard. I remember when, right out of undergrad he got his apartment on Appleton Street in Boston's South End, the best street at the time. Then our paths didn't cross again for a decade later randomly at the Burbank Airport on August 2, 2007. When there are moments in life when you feel there is an angel that pops into your life at just the right time...this was one of those moments. We talked for a very long time, shared stories about similar heartbreaks, cried, laughed. It was Sturges away from DA and vulnerable when we were no longer competitive with one another. I just wish I had more of those opportunities with Sturges. I reached out to him in 2009 to help judge the Internationals Public Speaking tournament being hosted at Deerfield but he was in London. I never thought that would be the last time I would see him. I wish I could have told him how immensely talented he was at just about everything he did. We were always waiting to see him again to tell him just that. For your family, you were his whole world. You were so important to him during his Deerfield Days.

My aim is to get an award at Deerfield in his name. A speakers award. If policy doesn’t allow, I will make sure there is an appropriate award named in Sturges honor on the Independent School circuit. If there is anything I can do for the Kaban family at this time and in the future, please reach out.  I have many photos of your son in all his greatness at the Internationals Public Speaking Tournament in British Columbia, I will share them soon. With love. Please know you are in my prayers.

Seeing Dana's photos from Middle School (posted just previous) makes 1990-1992 seem so immediate and makes it more inconceivable that Sturges is gone. Along with Dana, I met Sturges in 7th grade -- and everyone else from PDS that I've shared the news with has recalled similar memories of his charm, his energy to connect and get to know you, and the way he brought a maturity beyond his years. As one PDS classmate said, "Sturges was the first boy ever to give me a compliment" at a middle school dance -- and to that middle school girl, it meant the world that someone would do that.

After a high school hiatus, we crossed paths again at college, and even shared a 6-person sophomore year American history and literature tutorial. Both an old PDS teacher and our 1997 Hist-and-Lit tutor remembered him clearly when I told them of this tragedy: Smart, personable, engaged.

To his parents -- I haven't seen you since 8th grade graduation, probably, and I can't imagine how inconsolable this moment is. I remember how proud you were of him—and still remember a line from his middle school graduation speech—and know how much hope you poured into him. Though it's been a few decades, the testimonials here show how much he embodied those dreams and how much he gave of himself in the limited years he had.

My love to his whole family. The pictures of him as Uncle Sturge are truly magical.

Dear Karban Family,

I am deeply saddened to learn of Sturge's passing.  A brilliant mind and an even more grounded individual, Sturge was an incredible inspiration.  He stood up for what was right, pushed us all to think beyond what we could see, competed with grace and tenacity and was a genuine friend.  From Day 1 as a Deerfield freshman, he made his mark and you knew he was destined for greatness.  I am honored to have shared our formative years together at Deerfield and will hold his memory in my heart.  Sending so much love and healing to the Karban family during this heartbreaking time.

Dear Karban family,

Very recently, before knowing of your loss, I shared with my children a memory of a boy I once knew from Deerfield named Sturges who was brilliant and humble. He was laser sharp yet warm and kind. And he wasn't afraid to be himself.  I remember being in awe of his tie collection in 9th grade, and how proud he was to show a group of young kids new to boarding school his closet organization skills--he made a forever impression on me.  And though we did not stay in touch since Deerfield,  I'm so struck that I had JUST been thinking of him as my children navigate their identities and pressures from their peers.   I am so sorry for your loss and hope these words of his impact on kids from another time and place who never met him resonate and bring comfort. 

Warmly,

 Paige Kaptuch 

Dear Karban Family,

Sturges was in my class at Deerfield, I was on the debate team with him (he was truly amazing!) and in my Chemisty class and probably others.  I was shocked to hear this tragic news. My heart and prayers and love extend to you during this very difficult time. I will never forget just how intelligent, kind, witty, inspiring, and awesome he was. I always admired him so much. He was a gift to Deerfield and to the world. So sad to hear his life has been cut short, but during the time he was here he clearly made a huge positive impact on many peoples lives, and one of the best things one can do on this Earth. So sorry for your loss. Even though we did not keep in touch after Deerfield, he was an incredible human being I will never forget.

Hollin 

Dear Jonnie and Dr Karban,  you may not remember but Sturges and I were debate partners at Deerfield (he was a year younger, and infinitely more mature, at the same time). We went to Montreal and BC together and by that time he had surpassed me and went to Cyprus by himself (or possibly with Les, my memory escapes). At DA, he was the most unique,  wonderful guy I had ever met - and remains a foundational person of my time there. We didn’t keep in great touch  after (actually think we had that in common - but we also moved to different continents) but we were  always warm when we did.  Despite that, years later, he has been a person from my (now distant) past that I told my wife about, that I tell my kids about. That’s a legacy.  

Andrew Rearick