2024, Baker Beach, San Francisco, CA, USA
Family Gathering for Memorial for Stephen
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2024, Baker Beach, San Francisco, CA, USA
Family Gathering for Memorial for Stephen
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Finally, a question about Steve that I can answer. I was thinking about Steve the other day and my thoughts about him were this: he was one of the least judgmental people I've ever known. He was open- minded and open-hearted about people, all people, and befriended many whom I considered down and outers and even unsavory. All his judgments were about food, drink, literature, and many other non- human things, but not about people. That is so rare and I miss him and his stories about the various people in his life.
Another rare quality that Steve had was his loyalty to family and friends. We were friends during the two years of high school that we spent together and lost touch for a few years after college. But Steve began writing to me (his usual rambling long letters on high quality paper) during the 80s I think, and we continued corresponding via snail mail until finally he switched to emails. He and I both kept our letters in boxes, although he might have tossed them at some point. I did finally, though I think that perhaps I should have kept them. Steve maintained friendships with many of our high school classmates and I'm sure they miss him as much as I do. Of course, his siblings know how loyal he was ...
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Condolences to the Carolan family. I gonna miss Steve so much
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Steve - we miss you so much. Thanks for all you did to keep Bob going. You were our rock and I always could depend on your loyalty and love for him. You certainly loved life, Steve. It's time for a cup of coffee! Talk to you later Steve! Bob's cousins Cathy, Fay, and Jimmy
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2021, Art Institute of Chicago, South Michigan Avenue, Chicago, IL, USA
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2022, Rye Hills Park, Rye Brook, NY
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I loved seeing Uncle Steve at the holidays — he always had a joke and a big smile ready. Such a smart, generous, and fun human — and a great uncle to my best friend <3 Sending so much love to all of you.
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Steve was a gentleman and a scholar as well as one of my best friends. He was kind, generous and an engaging conversationalist. During the two months that we travelled the world together we met many interesting people and created memories that live on. But the most memorable thing I learned was "Everybody Loves Stephen!"
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Tim Wardner, one of Steve’s friends in North Beach, wrote this beautiful recollection:
I read the notice of Steve’s death a few hours ago. I feel sick with sadness. First to you and your siblings, my sympathetic concern. I’d never seen photos of Steve as a boy and realize that your lifetimes of memories would make for great sadness and emotion. He looked like the perfect brother. In the 15 years I lived in SF Steve was the only person I considered a true friend, that I planned to see in th future. A couple of months ago he visited me at my new house in San Luis Obispo area. After a day together I took him and his longtime woman friend from Woodland Hills days to dinner. It was nice. As we parted in the parking lot I said; ‘Oh Steve, I really do love you’. That’s not something I say often and to another man. But I meant it and I’m glad I said it.
Steve was special, and a very high level mentality. A friendly man with a high spirit and intellectual curiosity. I never saw Steve angry or mean. A better person than myself which made him someone I wanted to know. Thinking back, it was Mark who introduced me to Steve. I think I ran across those two on the Embarcadero and it was one of the best meetings of my life. Steve was great to be around. He would sometimes read me his daily ’Statement’, short writings on a topic of his interest on that day. He had the highest skill of language, ideas and construction. I remember going with him one day to visit his father. I could not communicate with his dad, but I observed Steve’s love toward him. Steve was a kind man. Also very sensitive. He was a major person in my life for nearly 10 years. Knowing a person like Steve makes life worthwhile. - Tim W.
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I'm so very, very sorry. Steve was a remarkable guy— the very model of the generous, playful curiosity that should be a model to us all-- always an education; always a joy. I’m one of the many who miss him, even as we remember him oh-so-fondly.
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I was really sorry to hear about his death. One of my favorite parts of my San Francisco visits was seeing Stephen. Greg, Cathy and I would visit him then I would see him on my nightly walks around North Beach. The best part was that he and I had the same conversation every time, which suited both our memories and our dispositions. He did not have a mean bone in his body and this was contagious. My trips to San Francisco will now be less fun, less compelling, and less fulfilling.
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