I'm so very deeply sorry to hear about the loss of Stefanie! I realize that this condolence is coming very late, but I just found out today! I rented a room in the same building in Sharpsburg as Stefanie. We became close and used to go out to eat together and chat in each other's rooms a lot! She was SO VERY KIND to me! She treated me with respect and true friendship! I moved out of that building in 2016 and I'm afraid that I haven't seen her since, but I will never forget her! I feel so ashamed that she has been gone now for over 5 years and I'm just finding out now! My heartfelt condolences to her brothers! My heart goes out to you! She was a very wonderful, kind, caring and warm person and a good friend! I was fortunate to have been her friend! I will miss her very much! RIP- Dearest Stefanie! You are loved! ❤️

We are so sorry for your loss. Love, Andy and Lala.

To my best friend Stefanie, you'll be greatly missed. Hope we will cross paths again. Much love, Jim

Your friendship was a treasure, Bender. You are so very loved, and so very missed, more than you’d give yourself an allowance to be. We will miss you and hold you in our hearts forever.

Stefanie was one of my oldest and closest friends. We met in fifth grade, went to high school together, visited each other in college, were in each other's weddings, and just recently got together to celebrate our friendship. Her passing has left a huge hole in my heart. Although her life was not always easy, Stef always was so vibrant and full of life. She was fun, silly, sarcastic, always positive, and a true friend. My deepest condolences to her brothers, family, and friends. Stef was so loved by so many. I hope she is feeling some peace at home in heaven with her dear mother and father.

Bender had a terrific laugh! Her life ended way way too early. She will forever be a part of my high school memories.

She was a shining spirit that saw all the little things that people take for granted! She brought the party! She hugged like she meant it! When I would hear her name mentioned I would smile! Kind, genuine, beautiful and LOVED!

Dear Rob and Jack,
I am so sorry to hear of Stef's passing and send my most heartfelt condolences to you both and to your loved ones. What can I say? A lot of hearts have been broken with the news that she is gone from our family.
I stayed with you in Forest Hills when your mom was carrying Stef during the bicentennial summer of 1976, and there were multiple visits after you'd moved to Shadyside. Stef would give up her room to Don and me and sleep in the tiny spare room, without a grumble ever.
Your parents loved you all so much and were so proud of your accomplishments. You Benders seemed to have so much fun as a family. You all had such terrific senses of humor, and laughter filled the apartment. You wore me out, trying to keep up. I loved to see you all together, cracking wise.
I remember so clearly Bob dancing with Stef at her wedding to "Daddy's Little Girl." I cried then, as I am crying now.
God bless you both. You've lost so much. Parents age and die, but baby sisters are supposed to live to be old women.
Take care of yourselves and live good lives, as Stef would have wanted. I am so sorry for your terrible loss.
Love always, dear cousins.
Dee

December, 1978: My parents and I moved into our new house in Forest Hills, where I would spend my childhood. Shortly thereafter, the little girl next door came over with her mom, knocked on the door, and said, "Play snow?" With that two-word request, a decades-long sisterhood was born. Born almost exactly two years apart, it was a match for the ages.

Our bedroom windows faced one another, and one summer her grandpa installed a pulley system between them. We spent years sending one another notes and nail polish clipped to the clothesline in plastic bags. We were equally terrified and enthralled by her outdoor cat, Jupiter. An animal lover, she had pets galore, including her cat Duchess who once got stuck in a tree and could not get down for days, prompting a neighborhood watch until she was rescued by Stef's dad.

In the mid-80s Stef moved away (only to Shadyside), but we stayed in touch, hanging out whenever we got the chance. She (still!) knew the names of all of my junior high and high school crushes, and all of the angst and agony that accompanied. There was an epic visit while I was at Penn State, and after we graduated college we both came back to PIttsburgh and spent many nights out together (Wednesdays at Doc's, forever and ever), often times having entire conversations consisting of inside jokes. Friends for so long, we could read each other's minds and moods.

We celebrated birthdays and graduations, weddings and babies. She stood beside me as my maid of honor when I married Michael. We supported one another in times of loss, as our grandparents passed away, and in more recent years, her mom and dad. We stayed in touch via text and silly posts on Facebook, always a touchstone for one another.

I have lost a spark of laughter, light, and love in this world, and an intrinsic part of my childhood. If you've read all the way through this post, I thank you for taking a moment to learn about my friend. I will miss her forever.