Oct 1, 2025

Molly has joined Silas in a sudden journey to who knows where! They were the best of us and one feels such lonely places where before there was intense animation! These two could communicate without saying a word! Wishing things were different but so grateful even for what's left behind!! LOVE

I remember when Silas was a newborn. He was as cute as a button. What I miss is his handsome face. He had an eagerness about him and how his mom Emily always fiercely supported him. His rosey cheeks and blue eyes. I feel him like a hand on my shoulder or the sensation of someone at the end of my bed. I wish I could of swallowed his pain. He was an always present soul in our family and always warm. He is so missed.

There’s not a single day that I don’t think about Silas. His laugh echoes in my mind and I like to think that every time certain songs pop up on shuffle it’s him saying hi or telling me what I need to hear. Lately I put extra barbecue sauce on everything and I watch a lot of Great British Baking Show like how we used to do when the weather got cold. I think of him when I’m chopping herbs (he taught me how to do it the right way haha) and when I eat ice cream and cinnamon rolls and all his favorite treats. Almost every night, we’d talk on the phone while I packed my lunch and got ready for bed. I miss that nighttime routine. The random memories too, they stick with me. Once, Silas sprained his ankle playing basketball after a cross country sleepover. We bussed home together and I remember trying to give him a piggy back ride from the bus stop on MLK all the way to my house. It didn’t work but I still laugh about it every time I remember. And in college he used to bus to Corvallis to come visit me. I was always so stressed about homework and I would complain that I had to write an essay instead of getting to spend time with him. He was so encouraging and told me he enjoyed just being in the same room with me while I worked on my computer. We would make a deal that if I finished my essays before DQ closed we would walk over and get blizzards and have a movie night or Game of Thrones marathon. Those days were my favorite of all time.

When Silas was there for me, he was really there. On walks or in blanket forts, he’d be present with his full heart and tell me exactly what I needed to hear. He listened with so much care. He was gentle and kind. I learned so much about how to be a kinder human through him as our friendship grew through each hardship and stayed strong and loving through our mistakes. I couldn’t have asked for a better best friend to grow into adulthood with. I’m trying to find comfort now in the pain of growing without him that I am still learning from him through our memories together.

To me, this day is not just about remembering Silas but remembering how we lost him and recognizing the complexity of that pain. Silas struggled with addiction for years. He never stopped fighting for his recovery and I’m incredibly proud of his resilience and his strength. I’m grateful for the many more memories I have with him because he never gave up. It was brutally painful, though, to witness and to experience the in-between of his recovery journey. I know Emily and I spent many hours worrying about how to do the right thing to support him when you don’t know what that right thing is supposed to be. We were always scared of the worst. The disease took him by pieces and it wasn’t until he died that I started to mourn his whole loss.

I don’t know where to go from here but I hope everyone is able to remember and remind others when we talk about addiction as a disease and an epidemic, there are beautiful, struggling humans with kind hearts and people who love them at the center. It is heartbreaking to know that the burden of losing someone you love to addiction is not unique.

I’m sorry for all of our loss today. I will never stop grieving Silas and the beautiful and real soul connection we shared. I know now though that I will always see him in every skyline and sunset, in the forests and on rainy roads. I will remember him in all my sweet treats and delicious home-cooked meals. The people you love stay with you in your heart. Silas, though, made his way into my soul. I’ll keep living this life for you, man, but I better see you in the next one. 🩵

nj nj nj nj,  I love you babs

(Unsure about the year, but) The summer camp we both went to had a overnight coast experience that we both went on. We set up camp right next to the water and learned about the tides and all the living things that we would be able to see when the tide was low. We made brownies in the camp fire using orange peels and tin foil. All of us were so hyped up on sugar and excitement.

When it was time to brush our teeth before bed, we all grabbed our bags and went to the camp ground bathrooms. The girls went into the girls and the boys the boys. Once mostly everyone one was gone, it was just me and two other girls. We ran into Silas as we were leaving and some how got to the topic of putting mascara on him. One of the girls asked if we could and he said yes. So we all went into the girls bathroom and he sat against the counter while getting the makeup out on. It was hilarious because against his bright blond hair, solid black eyelashes looked ridiculous. But he had fun with it and made one of my favorite memories. 

I left that camp knowing i would probably never see those people again, but then in 2011 as a freshman at Benson, I ran into Silas in the hallway and was overcome with some relief. Because to have someone so chill, so kind, so understanding and funny, was truly an oasis in a crazy world.

You guys raised an amazing kid and an amazing man. He will never be forgotten. That is for sure. 

Oh Silas… this one hurts. I’ve known you since Peeps summer camp. I remember seeing you at Benson freshman year, in a sea of strangers and felt such relief to know someone there. You were a positive light in this world and I’m so devastated at the news.

I’m sorry i took so long to reply to your last message. I’ll carry that with my till my end.

As for your family and loved ones, i send all my love and strength your way. Know that Silas left a mark on everyone he came across in life. We are all blessed to have known him.