Good afternoon
My name is Kathy and I’m Sam’s aunt, Steve is my brother. Thank you all for coming today to celebrate Sam’s life. Let’s start with a moment of silence to calm our hearts and feel Sam around us.
I think those of us here are familiar with who Sam was. Steve and Terri did a beautiful biography of Sam on the EverLoved website. So many of us have added our thoughts and memories of this loving and passionate man and I would like to add a few more.
Sam was a beautiful soul. Using the past tense feels strange since Sam was so full of life. He was a smart, handsome and goofy little boy with a megawatt smile. As a child, Sam played soccer and tried most other sports. He was an incredible welder in high school, receiving high praise from his teacher. I remember he wanted to be an underwater welder in Alaska which would have satisfied both his talent for welding and spirit of daring. He carried his childhood love of skateboarding into adulthood. This developed into being... Read more an artistic, daredevil snowboarder. He taught snowboarding lessons at White Pass Ski Area in the wintertime to support his love of the sport.
Sam grew up with so much love. His parents encouraged and supported his interests in whatever he wanted to pursue, within reason of course. Steve and Terri provided Sam with everything and anything he needed in life. They loved him deeply and, given his unconventional lifestyle, wanted only for his health and well-being.
Sam so loved and respected his sisters, Heather, Crystal and Kara, and they him. That love and fun-loving nature is evident in all the photos you’ll see today. Even when Crys and Kara dressed him up like a girl or hung him by his overalls from the bunkbed, you can see the delight and love in their faces. His sisters were so supportive of Sam throughout his life. And Sam adored his nephews, Britton and Ethan and his brothers-in-law Oliver and Marcus. I’m sure they have some fun stories to share of Sam.
I have a lot of fun memories of Sam. We had many family trips to Mazatlán sponsored by Grandma and Gramps. Sam was always in on the action, be it parasailing, banana boat rides, go-cart racing in carts without floorboards which is legal only in Mexico. Many a night we enjoyed relaxed gatherings on the beach after dinner. Sam knew some really good jokes, even at 10 years of age. These trips were great bonding experiences as we caught up with each other and watched all the all kids develop into adults.
My family visited the Pacific Northwest Wids several times over the years and Sam always wanted to hang around with us, well, until he was a teenager at least. Steve, Terri, Sam and his sisters took good care of us and provided plenty of activities, laughter, and great meals. A funny memory stands out. We went to see Austin Powers’ 2nd movie altogether. The guys were really excited to see it so when Terri and I saw some Union jack boxers at Target, we had to buy them for Sam and Steve and his Uncle Steve. Needless to say, the guys were thrilled to have Austin Powers underwear and they had to model them for us. Imagine our surprise when, as an encore to their fashion show, they treated us to a B-A. Crystal, Kara and Jackie were blinded by the sight. It’s a good thing we didn’t see the Full Monty movie!
Another memory I cherish is when Sam spent a few days with us in Santa Rosa in 2016 on his way home from Nepal. There, he helped rebuild a primary school that was destroyed in the 2015 earthquake. After the rebuild, he stayed on to tour and experience the country. He learned the art of meditation and henna tattooing. Upon his arrival home, Sam was so peace-filled and relaxed. His outlook of the world was full of love and brotherhood. How I wish he could have carried that state of mind longer in his life.
To say Sam was interested in the outdoors is an understatement. Nature was his second, and sometimes first, home and he must have felt great comfort and peace as he hiked mountains in Nepal and Peru while barefoot, swam in mountain lakes and rivers, skied majestic peaks or, while camping, sat and soaked up the beauty that is our planet. His happy place was on the road, seeing new places and meeting new people.
He collected friends wherever he went and no one was a stranger. These were not mere acquaintances but rather people he instantly bonded with. He would literally give them the shirt off his back, or the shoes off his feet if he happened to be wearing any. His love of people was rivaled only by his love for animals, especially dogs. He rescued many from horrific situations and nourished them with food and love.
Sam’s introspective nature caused him to question the essence of life and he would dive into serious conversations about it very easily. He was passionate and felt strongly about issues. Sometimes his passion was so deep, it was difficult to understand. As his cousin Kristin said, “He had his own unique perspective but it was always rooted in hope for something pure and good. He fought for his own path and lived life on his own terms.”
His wise Aunti Rita said, “Sam’s pursuit of truth and beauty ignited a fearless quest for which he will be remembered. And though, like intrepid explorers before him, he succumbed to forces beyond his control, his brave and good heart lives on in us.” Forces beyond his control…I think he just hadn’t controlled them yet.
I think of Sam as being with all his grandparents now. They are taking it from here, enveloping him with love. We lean on each other for support as we cherish the memories of Sam. This is exactly what our aching hearts need right now. So, with that in mind, I’d like to open this up to any one with memories or thoughts to share. Read less

Good afternoon
My name is Kathy and I’m Sam’s aunt, Steve is my brother. Thank you all for coming today to celebrate Sam’s life. Let’s start with a moment of silence to calm our hearts and feel Sam around us.
I think those of us here are familiar with who Sam was. Steve and Terri did a beautiful biography of Sam on the EverLoved website. So many of us have added our thoughts and memories of this loving and passionate man and I would like to add a few more.
Sam was a beautiful soul. Using... Read more the past tense feels strange since Sam was so full of life. He was a smart, handsome and goofy little boy with a megawatt smile. As a child, Sam played soccer and tried most other sports. He was an incredible welder in high school, receiving high praise from his teacher. I remember he wanted to be an underwater welder in Alaska which would have satisfied both his talent for welding and spirit of daring. He carried his childhood love of skateboarding into adulthood. This developed into being an artistic, daredevil snowboarder. He taught snowboarding lessons at White Pass Ski Area in the wintertime to support his love of the sport.
Sam grew up with so much love. His parents encouraged and supported his interests in whatever he wanted to pursue, within reason of course. Steve and Terri provided Sam with everything and anything he needed in life. They loved him deeply and, given his unconventional lifestyle, wanted only for his health and well-being.
Sam so loved and respected his sisters, Heather, Crystal and Kara, and they him. That love and fun-loving nature is evident in all the photos you’ll see today. Even when Crys and Kara dressed him up like a girl or hung him by his overalls from the bunkbed, you can see the delight and love in their faces. His sisters were so supportive of Sam throughout his life. And Sam adored his nephews, Britton and Ethan and his brothers-in-law Oliver and Marcus. I’m sure they have some fun stories to share of Sam.
I have a lot of fun memories of Sam. We had many family trips to Mazatlán sponsored by Grandma and Gramps. Sam was always in on the action, be it parasailing, banana boat rides, go-cart racing in carts without floorboards which is legal only in Mexico. Many a night we enjoyed relaxed gatherings on the beach after dinner. Sam knew some really good jokes, even at 10 years of age. These trips were great bonding experiences as we caught up with each other and watched all the all kids develop into adults.
My family visited the Pacific Northwest Wids several times over the years and Sam always wanted to hang around with us, well, until he was a teenager at least. Steve, Terri, Sam and his sisters took good care of us and provided plenty of activities, laughter, and great meals. A funny memory stands out. We went to see Austin Powers’ 2nd movie altogether. The guys were really excited to see it so when Terri and I saw some Union jack boxers at Target, we had to buy them for Sam and Steve and his Uncle Steve. Needless to say, the guys were thrilled to have Austin Powers underwear and they had to model them for us. Imagine our surprise when, as an encore to their fashion show, they treated us to a B-A. Crystal, Kara and Jackie were blinded by the sight. It’s a good thing we didn’t see the Full Monty movie!
Another memory I cherish is when Sam spent a few days with us in Santa Rosa in 2016 on his way home from Nepal. There, he helped rebuild a primary school that was destroyed in the 2015 earthquake. After the rebuild, he stayed on to tour and experience the country. He learned the art of meditation and henna tattooing. Upon his arrival home, Sam was so peace-filled and relaxed. His outlook of the world was full of love and brotherhood. How I wish he could have carried that state of mind longer in his life.
To say Sam was interested in the outdoors is an understatement. Nature was his second, and sometimes first, home and he must have felt great comfort and peace as he hiked mountains in Nepal and Peru while barefoot, swam in mountain lakes and rivers, skied majestic peaks or, while camping, sat and soaked up the beauty that is our planet. His happy place was on the road, seeing new places and meeting new people.
He collected friends wherever he went and no one was a stranger. These were not mere acquaintances but rather people he instantly bonded with. He would literally give them the shirt off his back, or the shoes off his feet if he happened to be wearing any. His love of people was rivaled only by his love for animals, especially dogs. He rescued many from horrific situations and nourished them with food and love.
Sam’s introspective nature caused him to question the essence of life and he would dive into serious conversations about it very easily. He was passionate and felt strongly about issues. Sometimes his passion was so deep, it was difficult to understand. As his cousin Kristin said, “He had his own unique perspective but it was always rooted in hope for something pure and good. He fought for his own path and lived life on his own terms.”
His wise Aunti Rita said, “Sam’s pursuit of truth and beauty ignited a fearless quest for which he will be remembered. And though, like intrepid explorers before him, he succumbed to forces beyond his control, his brave and good heart lives on in us.” Forces beyond his control…I think he just hadn’t controlled them yet.
I think of Sam as being with all his grandparents now. They are taking it from here, enveloping him with love. We lean on each other for support as we cherish the memories of Sam. This is exactly what our aching hearts need right now. So, with that in mind, I’d like to open this up to any one with memories or thoughts to share. Read less

Eulogy for My Son
Writing your child’s obituary is not an assignment I’d wish on any parent. Presenting a eulogy is no better.
God damn it, Sam!
How many times have I said those words? As a career-oriented parent with an adolescent and 3 young kids, life was overwhelming. I loved them dearly and was committed that they have all the opportunities for a happy life that I was privileged to enjoy in my youth. Somehow it didn’t work out the way I dreamed.
In grieving for Sam, I’m experiencing a range of emotions:
Surprise: for Sam’s conception. Beyond learning that Terri was pregnant, her eventual ultrasound indicated that we’d have our fourth girl. I was prepared for being down 5 to 1 in the chronozone count, but when Sam arrived, we were surprised to find she was a he in all his infant manhood.
Pride: in Sam’s natural athleticism. Partly because he threw himself at physical activity wholeheartedly and wasn’t afraid to take risks. He had a checkered time at football in the middle-school... Read more era, but one game he came into to punt the ball. He connected with a towering spiral kick that seemed to go 40-50 yards and easily over the head of the punt returner. It made me feel so happy for him to be able to do that. Damn it, Sam!
Anger: for the times when doors were left open, homework wasn’t done, my tools were missing. Damn, it Sam!
Guilt: for the times I accused him of taking a tool, only to find that I had misplaced it myself. God damn it, Steve!
Fear: for the time in Kauai when Sam was 5, I asked him to play in the shallow water while I went out to body surf the waves. My joy at catching a rogue wave quickly changed as I raised my head to look in vain for him. No Sam. When I saw his little body, still, washed up on the beach I thought, “Lord, I killed him.” God damn it, Steve!
Relief: as I rushed to pull my legs through water to the shore, I saw him stir and raise his head. I held him tight and gave praise for his life. God, thank you!
Grief: for the realization 13 years ago that that he was old enough to make his own decisions and that whatever future I was hoping to influence was probably negatively affected by trying to impose my views.
Acceptance: for the day I realized my emotional energy toward Sam needed to emphasize love and affection over anger and disappointment. God help me.
After Sam’s death, I went for walks around the neighborhood, usually at dusk, to reflect and listen to my heart. In the gloaming of one walk, I found my breath slow and deliberate, the air noticeable as it passed my lips. Then a voice clearly rang out, “God damn it, Sam!” The sound came from some other part of me. The voice no longer carried any anger, frustration, or other such emotion. It carried the heft of deep, profound sorrow. SE Widergren, 7 Jan 2024 Read less

Eulogy for My Son
Writing your child’s obituary is not an assignment I’d wish on any parent. Presenting a eulogy is no better.
God damn it, Sam!
How many times have I said those words? As a career-oriented parent with an adolescent and 3 young kids, life was overwhelming. I loved them dearly and was committed that they have all the opportunities for a happy life that I was privileged to enjoy in my youth. Somehow it didn’t work out the way I dreamed.
In grieving for Sam, I’m experiencing a range... Read more of emotions:
Surprise: for Sam’s conception. Beyond learning that Terri was pregnant, her eventual ultrasound indicated that we’d have our fourth girl. I was prepared for being down 5 to 1 in the chronozone count, but when Sam arrived, we were surprised to find she was a he in all his infant manhood.
Pride: in Sam’s natural athleticism. Partly because he threw himself at physical activity wholeheartedly and wasn’t afraid to take risks. He had a checkered time at football in the middle-school era, but one game he came into to punt the ball. He connected with a towering spiral kick that seemed to go 40-50 yards and easily over the head of the punt returner. It made me feel so happy for him to be able to do that. Damn it, Sam!
Anger: for the times when doors were left open, homework wasn’t done, my tools were missing. Damn, it Sam!
Guilt: for the times I accused him of taking a tool, only to find that I had misplaced it myself. God damn it, Steve!
Fear: for the time in Kauai when Sam was 5, I asked him to play in the shallow water while I went out to body surf the waves. My joy at catching a rogue wave quickly changed as I raised my head to look in vain for him. No Sam. When I saw his little body, still, washed up on the beach I thought, “Lord, I killed him.” God damn it, Steve!
Relief: as I rushed to pull my legs through water to the shore, I saw him stir and raise his head. I held him tight and gave praise for his life. God, thank you!
Grief: for the realization 13 years ago that that he was old enough to make his own decisions and that whatever future I was hoping to influence was probably negatively affected by trying to impose my views.
Acceptance: for the day I realized my emotional energy toward Sam needed to emphasize love and affection over anger and disappointment. God help me.
After Sam’s death, I went for walks around the neighborhood, usually at dusk, to reflect and listen to my heart. In the gloaming of one walk, I found my breath slow and deliberate, the air noticeable as it passed my lips. Then a voice clearly rang out, “God damn it, Sam!” The sound came from some other part of me. The voice no longer carried any anger, frustration, or other such emotion. It carried the heft of deep, profound sorrow. SE Widergren, 7 Jan 2024 Read less