Read Richard "Rich" Alan Gray's Obituary & Leave Condolences

In memory of

Richard "Rich" Alan Gray

Winston-Salem, NC, USA

December 29, 1950 - May 28, 2021

Dec 29, 1950 - May 28, 2021

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REMEMBRANCES OF (AND WRITTEN BY) RICHARD ALAN GRAY:

Richard Alan Gray of Winston-Salem, North Carolina, died on May 28, 2021 after a long illness. He was 70 years of age. Born in 1950, son of Arthur Gray and Emma (Krall) Gray, Richard was raised in Avalon, Pennsylvania, attended Assumption School and was graduated from Avalon High School in 1968. After earning his bachelor’s degree at the University of Pittsburgh, where he was a member of Kappa Sigma Fraternity, Richard worked several years as a social worker for the Allegheny County Board of Assistance, and later had a lengthy association with Robert Morris College (now University) as a student financial aid administrator.

Leaving Pittsburgh in 1994, Richard was content to support the career of his wife and best friend Jackie (Maclean) in her nomadic career in trust administration with customer service and sales support positions. His fun-loving Jackie died suddenly in 2012 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (In the beginning, friends said she was “too wild” for him, but she passed just one day short of their 19th anniversary. Happily, as a Barry Manilow groupie, Jackie was able to see him one more time while living in Las Vegas.)

Richard extends his gratitude to attorney Patrick Narcisi for a lifetime of friendship and for his dedication to the people of the North Boros during the challenging post-industrial period that has contrasted so unfavorably with the secure, nurturing community in which they grew up. Richard was appreciative of the bond that has lasted 50 years among his Kappa Sigma brothers. He was most particularly grateful for the kindness and lengthy friendship of Kandy Griffin, who opened her home to him in North Carolina after his wife’s unexpected passing, and helped with his orientation to such a welcoming community with so many generous people.

Richard leaves a sister, Susan Margaret Gray, in the guardianship of his loving and dedicated sister-in-law Lois Gray. He also leaves his niece Cynthia Gray and nephew Charles “Andy” Gray. All reside in the Akron, Ohio area. Richard was predeceased by his brother, Arthur Gray, Jr. and nephew Arthur Gray, III. A closet yinzer to the end, Richard says to his Oakland, California Facebook friends that he has proof that the football definitely hit Jack Tatum, but he’s taking it to his grave.

ADDENDUM by Kandy Griffin…

I met Richard in 1983 at a boring financial aid administrators conference in the never-boring city of New Orleans, Louisiana. Across a crowded room I saw him sitting alone and instinctively knew, “This is the person I want to talk to.” We connected and wound up strolling through the French Quarter together that night. The sights and sounds were memorable, and our friendship continued after we returned to our respective homes. Richard visited me once in Winston-Salem. We talked and exchanged letters that I wish we had kept. (This was pre-email and Facebook.) After Richard married Jackie, we lost touch for over 20 years. As friendship would have it, he found me in 2011 and decided to relocate to the Winston-Salem area when Jackie passed away in 2012.

Richard was a generous and supportive friend to me, my family and friends. He delighted in buying me jewelry and clothes and only allowed me to pay for meals on his birthday. We often dined together and attended concerts, the opera and ballet. I had always wanted to see a performance of “The Nutcracker,” and Richard made that happen. Then there was the ultimate: the basketball and football games between Wake Forest and Pitt. Unfortunately, we never made it to a Steelers game. I had hoped that they would deliver a Super Bowl championship before Richard left us. Maybe later.

Politically, we were in perfect alignment, and Richard took me to a Bernie Sanders rally in Greensboro that was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. I can almost hear Richard’s sigh of relief now that he is finally done with Donald Trump!

Richard was actively involved and supportive of several causes: a Yadkin River conservation group, political organizations and his townhouse HOA administration. He never wavered in his love for and support of his beloved Avalon community, the University of Pittsburgh and the Steelers. I am very sure that Richard was devoted to many other causes that I am not even aware of because he did not advertise much of the good he did.

No matter how sick he was, Richard never failed to offer to help me whenever I didn’t feel well or was in a bind. In my last e-mail from him, Richard wrote, “Thank you for sharing.” I thought it was odd, since I didn’t realize to what he was referring. Now I hope he knows that I thank him for sharing as well.

May Richard eternally breathe freely and rest in peace alongside his beloved wife Jackie.

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