My wife and I attended today.  Im glad we were there. It was clear how loved Ralph (and Bonnie) are. They both lived amazing lives and had many adventures together. I could not speak today as its not something I can do.

Ralph and Bonnie are the kind of neighbors and friends you would hope for, showing every kindness, understanding and interest when there was a life event. After Bonnie's passing I'd check on Ralph every so often if I hadnt seen him out and about. I'd ask if he was "behaving himself?" and he'd usually reply with "what kind of trouble do you think I'd be getting into?"

He would "sneak" our dogs cookies, in the hopes that they would become friends. Initially my dogs had made him nervous as they would bark and jump at the fence when he would come near "thier" backyard. He won them over with treats. Barking out of excitement when they'd see him because they knew... 

Once our children were a little older he would bring them candies of some kind when they were out playing, and listen intently to whatever stories they would share. Often following the stories with questions of his own, and awaiting thier answers. Making them feel seen and heard. 

Prior to his last trip to Paris he asked what he could bring my kids? I assumed he ment toys or the like. I had asked that if he found the time and had the energy (I knew his energy was low and his health was not great at that point), to please just send my kids each a postcard of his travels. He seemed a bit suprised, asking me why? I explained that when I was young a family friend had traveled the world and would send post cards, so that we could see where he was. That small connection was far bigger and lasting than any treat or trinket. He seemed satisfied by my answer, and said he would. A few weeks later one postcard came, then eventually a second arrived after he had returned home earlier then planned. My kids were excited when I explained that a postcard ment Ralph had put in extra effort to find, write, stamp, and send them each a note. Those cards are on our refrigerator with the kids most prized drawings. This was the person he was, ever thoughtful and kind.

I had met Bonnie first, about ten or eleven years ago. While I was moving my stuff into our house next door. She snuck up behind me, with a stealthy silence I can only imagine she had practiced for times just like this one. I turned around with the next box, and  there she was. I'll be honest I was not dressed in my cleanest clothes as I was moving, and being startled I just froze and staired at this 5 foot something lady that had moved with such a skillful taciturn, I about dropped my box of belongings with the startle. 

As I said nothing, she looked at me and asked "Who are you?"  I managed to stutter my name and put my box down. She quickly followed up with "what are you doing?" Not fully recovered from the start she gave me, I simply replied "moving in" for which I recieved an even more intense stair and a soundless moment. She likely thought I was just being a rude smart alleck. She eventually smiled,  introduced herself as my neighbor, and informed me (in only the way Bonnie could, full of sarcasm and wit that I came to know over many side yard and driveway visits) that she was glad I was "moving in, because otherwise I was a just a horrible thief".

When Ralph and Bonnie would be traveling she always politely asked me to "keep an eye on the house" which was always followed by her assurances that it was "a very well behaved house, that rarely needed supervision", and "was generally fine left to itself" but none the less she'd write out directions with the particulars and smile heartily as she handed them to me, knowing I'd read them but not need them. 

While I wish I could have stood and shared these stories today, as many others did. I hope reading them brought a smile, some other memories and some catharsis to you all.  

Ralphie was my cousin and godfather. Besides being extremely intelligent, he was always thoughtful and generous. He and Bonnie invited me to stay with them when they lived in Pittsburgh, PA. I was 15 years old at the time. I remember it was the first time I had ever heard classical music. I was intrigued.  I stayed with them again a few years later when they lived in Greeley, CO. Ralphie took me hiking in the Rocky mountains everyday for almost 2 weeks. It was one of the best experiences of my life. Later when my husband and I had two young children, they invited us to stay with them in Chico, CA. Ralphie drove us to Lassen Peak which was quite an adventure for all of us. I have to say that for not having children of their own, they seemed to have a lot of patience for our two active children and even took us to an animated show. I regret not being able to have seen more of my cousin during his life on Earth. There are few people here who can compare. 

I moved to Chico in 2015 and got my first introduction to international folk dance in the fall of 2015 in a Thursday evening class led by Memo Keswick. I met Ralph soon after, when he and Bonnie were running "club" dancing, which was on Friday nights at the time.

I didn't really start getting to know Ralph until 2021 when I sat down next to him at club dancing, which is now on Sundays, and asked him when he was leaving for Paris. He told me the date and said "wanna go"? My mouth dropped open and I said "uh, yeah!" He said there was a two-week slot open in November and room for me to bring a guest, so I invited my son Mark to come with me. Anyone who is familiar with the loft in the guest bedroom of the Paris apartment will understand how much I appreciated that my son is a firefighter who is totally at home climbing up and down ladders, as I DO NOT like heights.    

I got a chance to learn more about Ralph when I drove him to SFO for his flight out to Paris that year on my way down to the Bay Area. We discovered we had both worked at the same IBM location near my small hometown in upstate New York - small world! He knew the area well and it turns out that was where he first started folk dancing! 

Ralph was such a great host when we went to stay with him in Paris. It was my first time in Paris and Mark's first time in Europe. We thoroughly enjoyed the neighborhood we stayed in. And boy, could Ralph walk, like forever!  We thoroughly enjoyed our time there and learned so much from Ralph. It was the best possible first time in Paris, away from all the crowded tourist areas.

Mark and I were able to enjoy the city again in 2025 when Ralph again invited us to come stay in the apartment with him the last two weeks of his stay. I planned to fly home with him, but unfortunately he had to leave early due to his health issues. But he made sure the apartment was cleaned and available for us when we arrived the day after he and Debbie left. 

He was always so generous to me, inviting me as one of his guests to the spaghetti fundraising dinners and ballet performances. I'm deeply honored to have become part of Ralph's inner circle. Though he already had many friends from all different walks of life and parts of the world, he still had room for two more. 

I never wanted the Friday night folk dance class, at the dance studio to end.  The evening participants would be trickling out, heading for their homes.....but if the designated time was not up, if there were still minutes left, though Ralph and Bonnie were starting to pack up....I would request that Ralph do one more for me. I would say, "We still have time. Show me something wonderful." He would not really respond ....but then he would put on some music and step out onto the floor. Still no gesture or indication he had heard my request....but I could take his hand and he would start dancing. I loved to study his steps to follow in his footsteps. He didn't seem too unhappy to do it.... don't we know?

From a very young age Ralph intrigued me!  I asked him a million questions, and he always had the answers!  I found I loved being with him because I wanted to know everything and he knew "everything"!  We walked to Acre Lake when I visited, and I collected salamanders and put them in a box only to find out the very next day that they disappeared!  Why! Another question but I don't remember the answer. Ralphy as I called him, actually let me drive his father's car, what fun!  I think I was 12!  We made each other laugh and I can't forget the good times.  The stories that we and his family shared will be remembered and enjoyed for years!  Love You Thank you Ralphy, RIP

Karol & Mahmut's 4th of July party

Greek Dancing Friends Ralph introduced us to in Paris.

Dancers Charlotte,Bonnie,Anne Marie,Ralph,Fred

Memories of Ralph Gagnon

The first time I met Ralph was around 1980-81 when he and Bonnie came to look at the house that my former husband Bob was selling out on Rancho Road in north Chico. I happened to be helping him sort things out in the garage of that home. I don’t know how they remembered meeting me when they came to folk dancing the first time they joined the Chico folk dance group! But, there we were and I’ve enjoyed dancing with Ralph since the first day I dragged him out onto the dance floor to join the line. He wasn’t initially the leader he became. He was always friendly, curious, interested and willing to talk about anything…. He could do the Hambo correctly! But, he and Bonnie were always a tight couple.

I worked part time in the Engineering Department office at CSUC where he taught Electrical Engineering, so I also knew him in that setting, and he later asked me to type up Bonnie's hand-written exploits in Iran. That was fun and interesting! She was quite the free spirit!

I used to teach a dance now and then, and so did Ralph. We danced together at his house too. I always enjoyed his teaching, as his feet were in time and the subtle space he left in the steps were just right, after seeing how the experts taught them.

He and Bonnie invited my parents to come with me to their home for dinner and to share color slides of their experiences at the World’s Fair in San Francisco on Treasure Island 1939.   When Lance met Bonnie and Ralph for the first time, he said “They are just like your parents!”  I was shocked, but on reflection at the time, they did have very similar ways about them, my dad was quiet but very interested in people, and my mom was very definite about how things should be done and would let you know when they weren’t.

In the years remaining after Bonnie passed, Ralph and I enjoyed the Berlin Philharmonic every Friday night on the big screen theater for those wonderful programs, as did the opera folks and the ballet folks in Chico at other times. I enjoyed making dinner for him before our concerts on the big screen on Friday nights and he was always appreciative and made dessert from the Spanish nut cake from the Farmer’s Market with berries and ice cream on top! We always had spirited conversations at dinner because we had plenty of different ideas, like siblings, and we each held our own.

Bonnie and Ralph invited me on trips to France, once to Lyon and once to Marseille. They were great walkers and it was wonderful to explore and find places on foot. We enjoyed concerts, museums, and wonderful dining. From Marseille we went on a drive to Moustier Sainte Marie, a small town built into the rocks in Provence. That was amazingly beautiful.  A few years later I was there on a second trip in 2019 with Lance when I heard that Bonnie had died, and I lit a candle for her in the Chapel high on the hill above the town.

The last period of my time with Ralph was one of being in touch with death, and he lived this period as the gentleman he always was, thinking of others, taking care of friendships, understanding others' needs, not giving up before it was time, and then departed with sadness and composure.  It was an honor to be with him at his bedside when he died, a very emotional event for me.  He was like a brother to me.

Ralph and Bonnie loved life, rich in its most precious essence. They enriched our lives by including us in that love- it was all too wonderful not to share! What a privilege we have had to live and love beside them...my favorite place to be.