Memories of Phyllis Ann Barsamian Lekas

Nicholas Lekas

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Dara Turco

Leicester, MA, USA

Phyllis

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Nicholas Lekas

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Dara Turco

Picture it….1963

I just moved into the house on Lakewood Street just off of Main Street. I came from Columbus Park and left my friend, Debbie, behind.  Walking alone on my way to Gates Lane School, I saw this girl coming down these long steps and we connected at the bottom of the stairs.  Hi, my name is Dara! Hi, my name is Phyllis!!!  And so began a 60 year journey…..

I was one year ahead of you, but that didn’t stop us. We had our walk to school, recess, lunch, more recess, our walk home after school, homework then playtime, and then after supper until we had to be home by 8:30...or else! We would meet before and after school every single day!  I remember having to suffer through Phyllis learning to play her violin in the kitchen….with Mom making sure she was doing what she was supposed to do.  I don’t remember when that ended, but I do remember what took its place….learning to speak Armenian!  Oh boy!  That piece of paper that hung on the wall in the kitchen outside the bathroom is embedded in my brain.  I was shocked that I never learned the language as I was there every day!

Then there were the weekends and holidays! We were always together. We walked each other half-way home so we could watch Batman twice a week!!!  We finished each others’ sentences. We knew each others’ thoughts without ever speaking a word.

We were one!

Then came the day I would move again. This time to Heard Street and I thought I had to leave you behind…but I stayed at Gates Lane with you until the long walks down Hadwen Park were enough.  I transferred to Heard Street School. But we called every day. We met up on weekends. And then it was time to go to high school. We both chose South High and we were together again. But our paths changed, I wanted to be a hairdresser so off to Girls Trade, and you wanted North High and off you went.  At some point, we both weren’t happy. I left Girls Trade and went to Oxford. You left North and returned to South.  But we still found a way to see each other.   Our paths had changed, but not our friendship. Not us!

We went through loves and lost ones and held each other up! We even included Debbie and all her drama when she had time. We were inseparable during these times. We prayed together, we cried together, and somehow we survived.

Picture it … 1973

And then it happened….we got our drivers’ license.  Look out world, here we come…. I was given a car for my graduation present.  We would meet up and just go to places to eat, or talk…we spent many a day in Green Hill Park. We just couldn’t figure life out and no one was teaching us. Everything we learned, we learned together. My brothers too busy with their lives, and yours had already moved on to marriages and careers.  So we walked together alone.

You dragging me to the El Morocco and even an Armenian dance….me including you in all the Italian family functions!! My whole family loved you as one of our own.  And with all 11 kids, you knew and loved each one.
So what do I do….I get married.  Why didn’t you stop me????? You were there, my Maid of Honor. I gave birth to my first son. You were there.  I gave birth to my second son. You were there. I gave birth to my third son. You were there.  My sons must have loved you so much because all three of them walked to you before I knew they could walk!!!! OK, I might have been a little jealous of that, but we laughed it off.  You gave my sons magic with your sewing skills for their Halloween costumes.  You suffered with me for three days making a train cake for my son….that he wouldn’t let us eat! You gave my sons unconditional love.

Unconditional Love….

We talked about this in great lengths.  You didn’t know what it was, but knew you wanted to feel it.  It wasn’t until Nick was born did you finally feel unconditional love.  You gave unconditional love unknowingly to those you loved and didn’t even know it.  But only through Nick, did you feel it!

But I’m getting a little ahead of our journey….

You were so happy when Dickie gave you your first car. That beautiful blue Opal.  You went everywhere in it.  It was a great car.  Unfortunately, no one taught you how to take care of it….like change the oil…bye-bye Opal.  So then he gave you the Buick Riviera. You did much better at taking care of this car, but I seem to remember being out with you shopping and we got caught in an ice storm.  You looked at me and said, Uh-oh. I said what do you mean uh-oh….you replied my tires are bald.  Here we are in Auburn and we need to get back to Rochdale.  I thought we had covered taking care of a car, but apparently not.  Needless to say, I drove us home to my house where you stayed over night.  Our first sleepover!

Our many talks were of our families.  Phyllis was so happy when Mal was born. She talked of going to Marlboro to visit her cousins on many occasions. She would get really excited when she was traveling to see Louise and the kids.  I think she felt a bond with Lynne because she spoke of her often.  Although she missed seeing her sister and brothers, she had an acceptance of their lives and was happy for them.  I can still see the pictures of Leo, Louise, and Dickie on the buffet in the dining room…and yes, Louise had a pretty pink sweater on in the picture….I remember as there was always a game board on the table in the dining room where we played Chinese Checkers.

And when my brother was dying, Phyllis took me to the woods and started praying for him. I asked if we could go to the church, Our Lady of Angels, and she led the way. I was confused that she could go into a Catholic church, as Debbie who was Jewish, could not.

Every time I think of the three of us, I think of the Western Wall in Jerusalem.  Armenian Quarter for Phyllis, Jewish Quarter for Debbie, Christian Quarter for me…but we never met a Muslim to complete the wall full circle.

Betty and Steve were always in the background waiting, watching…like good parents.  Betty more so than Steve…he just had the greatest smile and laugh. Betty was always cooking something like rice pilaf, stuffed grape leaves or jelly on sheets. But more importantly, she was always trying to get Phyllis to clean her room because you couldn’t find the other bed in the room as it was covered in her clothes, and she was ordered to do the dishes!!!  I remember Betty’s Dad coming to live with them.  He was such a nice man.  Phyllis and I had each other to lean on when it was time to say goodbye to him. And as Betty and Steve got along in their years, Phyllis and I would go grocery shopping for them.  Even my children would help bring those groceries from Stop & Shop up those front stairs!!!!  Phyllis would run to get prescriptions and anything else they needed so she could go out with her friends at night. As I was married, I couldn’t go, but she would meet her friends and have a great time.

Picture it 1983….Leaving behind the ice and snow…

I moved to Florida with my family and you were there helping me all the way to West Palm Beach.  I hated putting you on a plane back to Massachusetts, but you had to take care of your parents and I understood.  During this time, you and Claire met up and shared your world as you had so much in common.  AYF was a big part of your life.  You traveled and participated.  I was so happy for you.  I was so happy when you and Claire came to visit me.

Then we lost touch.  You didn’t know I was flying up to Massachusetts. I would sit outside your house on Wayne Street waiting for you to come home – night after night.  And you never came.  I flew back to Florida feeling empty, worried, confused, and not knowing what had happened to you.  We always knew each other…and this time, I didn’t know.

Apparently, you reconnected with Russ Lekas from Gates Lane Elementary School. You made up your mind to love this man for better or worse…for only a few knew the pain and hurt you went through and will remain secrets forever.  You believed and lived by your commitment to Russ to the very end.  Everyone said it wouldn’t last, but you just had to prove them all wrong.  When you gave your love, you meant it!

It wasn’t until my husband passed away in 1994, did I see you again…and you brought Nick with you. During such a sad time, you brought joy back into my life. Thank you. And then, you were gone again. Not knowing where the three of you were was hard, but I trusted you.

Moving ahead….one night at 2am you were on – what else? – the computer.  And although we hadn’t seen or talked in years, you found me through my brother on FaceBook!  You messaged me and I made the IT department at my job connect me to FaceBook so I could get your phone number. I didn’t care if they fired me. This was more important. You were so happy when we finally got to talk – not so much Nick and Russ because we talked every day on the phone…for hours.  And Nick finally admitted he was jealous! Sorry Nick, but I was there first. You had her 24 hours a day – every day.  We had years to catch up on.  Besides, no one could ever understand how our lives were built on teaching each other going through life alone. My siblings were all boys and Phyl’s were married and moved. It was just us! Trying to grow up in a world we didn’t understand.

I remember flying up to Massachusetts to surprise you as you were going through cancer. Debbie and I picked you up and off to one of our old stomping grounds - Lincoln Plaza.  As a birthday present, we went into one of the stores and I bought you tons of yarn and a crocheting needle.  I told you it would serve many purposes.  First, something to keep you busy, something to keep you warm in the winter months, and something to give as a gift.  You were so happy.  You called me when you completed Nick’s afghan. Then started working on another.  How I miss your creative ideas and your wisdom to complete them.

Picture it…2023

In the meantime, I know Phyllis must be very busy greeting family and old friends. I’m sure she has found Cam by now, as losing him was devastating to her watching how it hurt her son and not being able to do anything to help.

I know she is grateful to Russ for taking care of her himself at home and giving her dignity to her very last day. I know it couldn’t have been easy.

When I think of you I will always remember the many nights of playing scrabble, cribbage, and a cup of tea.  Or going to see a Batman movie in Lincoln Plaza and seeing Dickie there.  Although I hated the 80s music, you loved it, so when I hear it playing I will pause and think of you with love.

But when I reminisced about the things we planned to do together in the future – like, being together when 1999 became the year 2000 – never happened.  Or when we got older we would be sitting on the front porch in rocking chairs watching the traffic go by – never happened, I will try to accept that things happen for a reason.

You were never born to take care of your parents…you were born to love us unconditionally.

We talked about the end of our lives and how we could never leave one behind.  I always thought it would be me first, then Deb, then you last.  I was so wrong.  But when we were younger we solved that problem by saying we would go together…and we were at peace with that.

One thing we never talked about was saying good-bye….and we never will.

This time it will be my turn to find you…and as always, we will pick up right where we left off.  In the meantime, I promise you that I will always be there for Nick, as will Louise, Leo, and Dickie and pray that this gives you the acceptance and peace you have always searched for!

Until then…I love you so very much!
(The last words we spoke to each other)

Picture it….1963

I just moved into the house on Lakewood Street just off of Main Street. I came from Columbus... Read more Park and left my friend, Debbie, behind. Walking alone on my way to Gates Lane School, I saw this girl coming down these long steps and we connected at the bottom of the stairs. Hi, my name is Dara! Hi, my name is Phyllis!!! And so began a 60 year journey…..

I was one year ahead of you, but that didn’t stop us. We had our walk to school, recess, lunch, more recess, our walk home after school, homework then playtime, and then after supper until we had to be home by 8:30...or else! We would meet before and after school every single day! I remember having to suffer through Phyllis learning to play her violin in the kitchen….with Mom making sure she was doing what she was supposed to do. I don’t remember when that ended, but I do remember what took its place….learning to speak Armenian! Oh boy! That piece of paper that hung on the wall in the kitchen outside the bathroom is embedded in my brain. I was shocked that I never learned the language as I was there every day!

Then there were the weekends and holidays! We were always together. We walked each other half-way home so we could watch Batman twice a week!!! We finished each others’ sentences. We knew each others’ thoughts without ever speaking a word.

We were one!

Then came the day I would move again. This time to Heard Street and I thought I had to leave you behind…but I stayed at Gates Lane with you until the long walks down Hadwen Park were enough. I transferred to Heard Street School. But we called every day. We met up on weekends. And then it was time to go to high school. We both chose South High and we were together again. But our paths changed, I wanted to be a hairdresser so off to Girls Trade, and you wanted North High and off you went. At some point, we both weren’t happy. I left Girls Trade and went to Oxford. You left North and returned to South. But we still found a way to see each other. Our paths had changed, but not our friendship. Not us!

We went through loves and lost ones and held each other up! We even included Debbie and all her drama when she had time. We were inseparable during these times. We prayed together, we cried together, and somehow we survived.

Picture it … 1973

And then it happened….we got our drivers’ license. Look out world, here we come…. I was given a car for my graduation present. We would meet up and just go to places to eat, or talk…we spent many a day in Green Hill Park. We just couldn’t figure life out and no one was teaching us. Everything we learned, we learned together. My brothers too busy with their lives, and yours had already moved on to marriages and careers. So we walked together alone.

You dragging me to the El Morocco and even an Armenian dance….me including you in all the Italian family functions!! My whole family loved you as one of our own. And with all 11 kids, you knew and loved each one.
So what do I do….I get married. Why didn’t you stop me????? You were there, my Maid of Honor. I gave birth to my first son. You were there. I gave birth to my second son. You were there. I gave birth to my third son. You were there. My sons must have loved you so much because all three of them walked to you before I knew they could walk!!!! OK, I might have been a little jealous of that, but we laughed it off. You gave my sons magic with your sewing skills for their Halloween costumes. You suffered with me for three days making a train cake for my son….that he wouldn’t let us eat! You gave my sons unconditional love.

Unconditional Love….

We talked about this in great lengths. You didn’t know what it was, but knew you wanted to feel it. It wasn’t until Nick was born did you finally feel unconditional love. You gave unconditional love unknowingly to those you loved and didn’t even know it. But only through Nick, did you feel it!

But I’m getting a little ahead of our journey….

You were so happy when Dickie gave you your first car. That beautiful blue Opal. You went everywhere in it. It was a great car. Unfortunately, no one taught you how to take care of it….like change the oil…bye-bye Opal. So then he gave you the Buick Riviera. You did much better at taking care of this car, but I seem to remember being out with you shopping and we got caught in an ice storm. You looked at me and said, Uh-oh. I said what do you mean uh-oh….you replied my tires are bald. Here we are in Auburn and we need to get back to Rochdale. I thought we had covered taking care of a car, but apparently not. Needless to say, I drove us home to my house where you stayed over night. Our first sleepover!

Our many talks were of our families. Phyllis was so happy when Mal was born. She talked of going to Marlboro to visit her cousins on many occasions. She would get really excited when she was traveling to see Louise and the kids. I think she felt a bond with Lynne because she spoke of her often. Although she missed seeing her sister and brothers, she had an acceptance of their lives and was happy for them. I can still see the pictures of Leo, Louise, and Dickie on the buffet in the dining room…and yes, Louise had a pretty pink sweater on in the picture….I remember as there was always a game board on the table in the dining room where we played Chinese Checkers.

And when my brother was dying, Phyllis took me to the woods and started praying for him. I asked if we could go to the church, Our Lady of Angels, and she led the way. I was confused that she could go into a Catholic church, as Debbie who was Jewish, could not.

Every time I think of the three of us, I think of the Western Wall in Jerusalem. Armenian Quarter for Phyllis, Jewish Quarter for Debbie, Christian Quarter for me…but we never met a Muslim to complete the wall full circle.

Betty and Steve were always in the background waiting, watching…like good parents. Betty more so than Steve…he just had the greatest smile and laugh. Betty was always cooking something like rice pilaf, stuffed grape leaves or jelly on sheets. But more importantly, she was always trying to get Phyllis to clean her room because you couldn’t find the other bed in the room as it was covered in her clothes, and she was ordered to do the dishes!!! I remember Betty’s Dad coming to live with them. He was such a nice man. Phyllis and I had each other to lean on when it was time to say goodbye to him. And as Betty and Steve got along in their years, Phyllis and I would go grocery shopping for them. Even my children would help bring those groceries from Stop & Shop up those front stairs!!!! Phyllis would run to get prescriptions and anything else they needed so she could go out with her friends at night. As I was married, I couldn’t go, but she would meet her friends and have a great time.

Picture it 1983….Leaving behind the ice and snow…

I moved to Florida with my family and you were there helping me all the way to West Palm Beach. I hated putting you on a plane back to Massachusetts, but you had to take care of your parents and I understood. During this time, you and Claire met up and shared your world as you had so much in common. AYF was a big part of your life. You traveled and participated. I was so happy for you. I was so happy when you and Claire came to visit me.

Then we lost touch. You didn’t know I was flying up to Massachusetts. I would sit outside your house on Wayne Street waiting for you to come home – night after night. And you never came. I flew back to Florida feeling empty, worried, confused, and not knowing what had happened to you. We always knew each other…and this time, I didn’t know.

Apparently, you reconnected with Russ Lekas from Gates Lane Elementary School. You made up your mind to love this man for better or worse…for only a few knew the pain and hurt you went through and will remain secrets forever. You believed and lived by your commitment to Russ to the very end. Everyone said it wouldn’t last, but you just had to prove them all wrong. When you gave your love, you meant it!

It wasn’t until my husband passed away in 1994, did I see you again…and you brought Nick with you. During such a sad time, you brought joy back into my life. Thank you. And then, you were gone again. Not knowing where the three of you were was hard, but I trusted you.

Moving ahead….one night at 2am you were on – what else? – the computer. And although we hadn’t seen or talked in years, you found me through my brother on FaceBook! You messaged me and I made the IT department at my job connect me to FaceBook so I could get your phone number. I didn’t care if they fired me. This was more important. You were so happy when we finally got to talk – not so much Nick and Russ because we talked every day on the phone…for hours. And Nick finally admitted he was jealous! Sorry Nick, but I was there first. You had her 24 hours a day – every day. We had years to catch up on. Besides, no one could ever understand how our lives were built on teaching each other going through life alone. My siblings were all boys and Phyl’s were married and moved. It was just us! Trying to grow up in a world we didn’t understand.

I remember flying up to Massachusetts to surprise you as you were going through cancer. Debbie and I picked you up and off to one of our old stomping grounds - Lincoln Plaza. As a birthday present, we went into one of the stores and I bought you tons of yarn and a crocheting needle. I told you it would serve many purposes. First, something to keep you busy, something to keep you warm in the winter months, and something to give as a gift. You were so happy. You called me when you completed Nick’s afghan. Then started working on another. How I miss your creative ideas and your wisdom to complete them.

Picture it…2023

In the meantime, I know Phyllis must be very busy greeting family and old friends. I’m sure she has found Cam by now, as losing him was devastating to her watching how it hurt her son and not being able to do anything to help.

I know she is grateful to Russ for taking care of her himself at home and giving her dignity to her very last day. I know it couldn’t have been easy.

When I think of you I will always remember the many nights of playing scrabble, cribbage, and a cup of tea. Or going to see a Batman movie in Lincoln Plaza and seeing Dickie there. Although I hated the 80s music, you loved it, so when I hear it playing I will pause and think of you with love.

But when I reminisced about the things we planned to do together in the future – like, being together when 1999 became the year 2000 – never happened. Or when we got older we would be sitting on the front porch in rocking chairs watching the traffic go by – never happened, I will try to accept that things happen for a reason.

You were never born to take care of your parents…you were born to love us unconditionally.

We talked about the end of our lives and how we could never leave one behind. I always thought it would be me first, then Deb, then you last. I was so wrong. But when we were younger we solved that problem by saying we would go together…and we were at peace with that.

One thing we never talked about was saying good-bye….and we never will.

This time it will be my turn to find you…and as always, we will pick up right where we left off. In the meantime, I promise you that I will always be there for Nick, as will Louise, Leo, and Dickie and pray that this gives you the acceptance and peace you have always searched for!

Until then…I love you so very much!
(The last words we spoke to each other) Read less Picture it….1963

I just moved into the house on Lakewood Street just off of Main Street. I came from Columbus Park and left... Read more my friend, Debbie, behind. Walking alone on my way to Gates Lane School, I saw this girl coming down these long steps and we connected at the bottom of the stairs. Hi, my name is Dara! Hi, my name is Phyllis!!! And so began a 60 year journey…..

I was one year ahead of you, but that didn’t stop us. We had our walk to school, recess, lunch, more recess, our walk home after school, homework then playtime, and then after supper until we had to be home by 8:30...or else! We would meet before and after school every single day! I remember having to suffer through Phyllis learning to play her violin in the kitchen….with Mom making sure she was doing what she was supposed to do. I don’t remember when that ended, but I do remember what took its place….learning to speak Armenian! Oh boy! That piece of paper that hung on the wall in the kitchen outside the bathroom is embedded in my brain. I was shocked that I never learned the language as I was there every day!

Then there were the weekends and holidays! We were always together. We walked each other half-way home so we could watch Batman twice a week!!! We finished each others’ sentences. We knew each others’ thoughts without ever speaking a word.

We were one!

Then came the day I would move again. This time to Heard Street and I thought I had to leave you behind…but I stayed at Gates Lane with you until the long walks down Hadwen Park were enough. I transferred to Heard Street School. But we called every day. We met up on weekends. And then it was time to go to high school. We both chose South High and we were together again. But our paths changed, I wanted to be a hairdresser so off to Girls Trade, and you wanted North High and off you went. At some point, we both weren’t happy. I left Girls Trade and went to Oxford. You left North and returned to South. But we still found a way to see each other. Our paths had changed, but not our friendship. Not us!

We went through loves and lost ones and held each other up! We even included Debbie and all her drama when she had time. We were inseparable during these times. We prayed together, we cried together, and somehow we survived.

Picture it … 1973

And then it happened….we got our drivers’ license. Look out world, here we come…. I was given a car for my graduation present. We would meet up and just go to places to eat, or talk…we spent many a day in Green Hill Park. We just couldn’t figure life out and no one was teaching us. Everything we learned, we learned together. My brothers too busy with their lives, and yours had already moved on to marriages and careers. So we walked together alone.

You dragging me to the El Morocco and even an Armenian dance….me including you in all the Italian family functions!! My whole family loved you as one of our own. And with all 11 kids, you knew and loved each one.
So what do I do….I get married. Why didn’t you stop me????? You were there, my Maid of Honor. I gave birth to my first son. You were there. I gave birth to my second son. You were there. I gave birth to my third son. You were there. My sons must have loved you so much because all three of them walked to you before I knew they could walk!!!! OK, I might have been a little jealous of that, but we laughed it off. You gave my sons magic with your sewing skills for their Halloween costumes. You suffered with me for three days making a train cake for my son….that he wouldn’t let us eat! You gave my sons unconditional love.

Unconditional Love….

We talked about this in great lengths. You didn’t know what it was, but knew you wanted to feel it. It wasn’t until Nick was born did you finally feel unconditional love. You gave unconditional love unknowingly to those you loved and didn’t even know it. But only through Nick, did you feel it!

But I’m getting a little ahead of our journey….

You were so happy when Dickie gave you your first car. That beautiful blue Opal. You went everywhere in it. It was a great car. Unfortunately, no one taught you how to take care of it….like change the oil…bye-bye Opal. So then he gave you the Buick Riviera. You did much better at taking care of this car, but I seem to remember being out with you shopping and we got caught in an ice storm. You looked at me and said, Uh-oh. I said what do you mean uh-oh….you replied my tires are bald. Here we are in Auburn and we need to get back to Rochdale. I thought we had covered taking care of a car, but apparently not. Needless to say, I drove us home to my house where you stayed over night. Our first sleepover!

Our many talks were of our families. Phyllis was so happy when Mal was born. She talked of going to Marlboro to visit her cousins on many occasions. She would get really excited when she was traveling to see Louise and the kids. I think she felt a bond with Lynne because she spoke of her often. Although she missed seeing her sister and brothers, she had an acceptance of their lives and was happy for them. I can still see the pictures of Leo, Louise, and Dickie on the buffet in the dining room…and yes, Louise had a pretty pink sweater on in the picture….I remember as there was always a game board on the table in the dining room where we played Chinese Checkers.

And when my brother was dying, Phyllis took me to the woods and started praying for him. I asked if we could go to the church, Our Lady of Angels, and she led the way. I was confused that she could go into a Catholic church, as Debbie who was Jewish, could not.

Every time I think of the three of us, I think of the Western Wall in Jerusalem. Armenian Quarter for Phyllis, Jewish Quarter for Debbie, Christian Quarter for me…but we never met a Muslim to complete the wall full circle.

Betty and Steve were always in the background waiting, watching…like good parents. Betty more so than Steve…he just had the greatest smile and laugh. Betty was always cooking something like rice pilaf, stuffed grape leaves or jelly on sheets. But more importantly, she was always trying to get Phyllis to clean her room because you couldn’t find the other bed in the room as it was covered in her clothes, and she was ordered to do the dishes!!! I remember Betty’s Dad coming to live with them. He was such a nice man. Phyllis and I had each other to lean on when it was time to say goodbye to him. And as Betty and Steve got along in their years, Phyllis and I would go grocery shopping for them. Even my children would help bring those groceries from Stop & Shop up those front stairs!!!! Phyllis would run to get prescriptions and anything else they needed so she could go out with her friends at night. As I was married, I couldn’t go, but she would meet her friends and have a great time.

Picture it 1983….Leaving behind the ice and snow…

I moved to Florida with my family and you were there helping me all the way to West Palm Beach. I hated putting you on a plane back to Massachusetts, but you had to take care of your parents and I understood. During this time, you and Claire met up and shared your world as you had so much in common. AYF was a big part of your life. You traveled and participated. I was so happy for you. I was so happy when you and Claire came to visit me.

Then we lost touch. You didn’t know I was flying up to Massachusetts. I would sit outside your house on Wayne Street waiting for you to come home – night after night. And you never came. I flew back to Florida feeling empty, worried, confused, and not knowing what had happened to you. We always knew each other…and this time, I didn’t know.

Apparently, you reconnected with Russ Lekas from Gates Lane Elementary School. You made up your mind to love this man for better or worse…for only a few knew the pain and hurt you went through and will remain secrets forever. You believed and lived by your commitment to Russ to the very end. Everyone said it wouldn’t last, but you just had to prove them all wrong. When you gave your love, you meant it!

It wasn’t until my husband passed away in 1994, did I see you again…and you brought Nick with you. During such a sad time, you brought joy back into my life. Thank you. And then, you were gone again. Not knowing where the three of you were was hard, but I trusted you.

Moving ahead….one night at 2am you were on – what else? – the computer. And although we hadn’t seen or talked in years, you found me through my brother on FaceBook! You messaged me and I made the IT department at my job connect me to FaceBook so I could get your phone number. I didn’t care if they fired me. This was more important. You were so happy when we finally got to talk – not so much Nick and Russ because we talked every day on the phone…for hours. And Nick finally admitted he was jealous! Sorry Nick, but I was there first. You had her 24 hours a day – every day. We had years to catch up on. Besides, no one could ever understand how our lives were built on teaching each other going through life alone. My siblings were all boys and Phyl’s were married and moved. It was just us! Trying to grow up in a world we didn’t understand.

I remember flying up to Massachusetts to surprise you as you were going through cancer. Debbie and I picked you up and off to one of our old stomping grounds - Lincoln Plaza. As a birthday present, we went into one of the stores and I bought you tons of yarn and a crocheting needle. I told you it would serve many purposes. First, something to keep you busy, something to keep you warm in the winter months, and something to give as a gift. You were so happy. You called me when you completed Nick’s afghan. Then started working on another. How I miss your creative ideas and your wisdom to complete them.

Picture it…2023

In the meantime, I know Phyllis must be very busy greeting family and old friends. I’m sure she has found Cam by now, as losing him was devastating to her watching how it hurt her son and not being able to do anything to help.

I know she is grateful to Russ for taking care of her himself at home and giving her dignity to her very last day. I know it couldn’t have been easy.

When I think of you I will always remember the many nights of playing scrabble, cribbage, and a cup of tea. Or going to see a Batman movie in Lincoln Plaza and seeing Dickie there. Although I hated the 80s music, you loved it, so when I hear it playing I will pause and think of you with love.

But when I reminisced about the things we planned to do together in the future – like, being together when 1999 became the year 2000 – never happened. Or when we got older we would be sitting on the front porch in rocking chairs watching the traffic go by – never happened, I will try to accept that things happen for a reason.

You were never born to take care of your parents…you were born to love us unconditionally.

We talked about the end of our lives and how we could never leave one behind. I always thought it would be me first, then Deb, then you last. I was so wrong. But when we were younger we solved that problem by saying we would go together…and we were at peace with that.

One thing we never talked about was saying good-bye….and we never will.

This time it will be my turn to find you…and as always, we will pick up right where we left off. In the meantime, I promise you that I will always be there for Nick, as will Louise, Leo, and Dickie and pray that this gives you the acceptance and peace you have always searched for!

Until then…I love you so very much!
(The last words we spoke to each other) Read less Picture it….1963

I just moved into the house on ... Read moreLakewood Street just off of Main Street. I came from Columbus Park and left my friend, Debbie, behind. Walking alone on my way to Gates Lane School, I saw this girl coming down these long steps and we connected at the bottom of the stairs. Hi, my name is Dara! Hi, my name is Phyllis!!! And so began a 60 year journey…..

I was one year ahead of you, but that didn’t stop us. We had our walk to school, recess, lunch, more recess, our walk home after school, homework then playtime, and then after supper until we had to be home by 8:30...or else! We would meet before and after school every single day! I remember having to suffer through Phyllis learning to play her violin in the kitchen….with Mom making sure she was doing what she was supposed to do. I don’t remember when that ended, but I do remember what took its place….learning to speak Armenian! Oh boy! That piece of paper that hung on the wall in the kitchen outside the bathroom is embedded in my brain. I was shocked that I never learned the language as I was there every day!

Then there were the weekends and holidays! We were always together. We walked each other half-way home so we could watch Batman twice a week!!! We finished each others’ sentences. We knew each others’ thoughts without ever speaking a word.

We were one!

Then came the day I would move again. This time to Heard Street and I thought I had to leave you behind…but I stayed at Gates Lane with you until the long walks down Hadwen Park were enough. I transferred to Heard Street School. But we called every day. We met up on weekends. And then it was time to go to high school. We both chose South High and we were together again. But our paths changed, I wanted to be a hairdresser so off to Girls Trade, and you wanted North High and off you went. At some point, we both weren’t happy. I left Girls Trade and went to Oxford. You left North and returned to South. But we still found a way to see each other. Our paths had changed, but not our friendship. Not us!

We went through loves and lost ones and held each other up! We even included Debbie and all her drama when she had time. We were inseparable during these times. We prayed together, we cried together, and somehow we survived.

Picture it … 1973

And then it happened….we got our drivers’ license. Look out world, here we come…. I was given a car for my graduation present. We would meet up and just go to places to eat, or talk…we spent many a day in Green Hill Park. We just couldn’t figure life out and no one was teaching us. Everything we learned, we learned together. My brothers too busy with their lives, and yours had already moved on to marriages and careers. So we walked together alone.

You dragging me to the El Morocco and even an Armenian dance….me including you in all the Italian family functions!! My whole family loved you as one of our own. And with all 11 kids, you knew and loved each one.
So what do I do….I get married. Why didn’t you stop me????? You were there, my Maid of Honor. I gave birth to my first son. You were there. I gave birth to my second son. You were there. I gave birth to my third son. You were there. My sons must have loved you so much because all three of them walked to you before I knew they could walk!!!! OK, I might have been a little jealous of that, but we laughed it off. You gave my sons magic with your sewing skills for their Halloween costumes. You suffered with me for three days making a train cake for my son….that he wouldn’t let us eat! You gave my sons unconditional love.

Unconditional Love….

We talked about this in great lengths. You didn’t know what it was, but knew you wanted to feel it. It wasn’t until Nick was born did you finally feel unconditional love. You gave unconditional love unknowingly to those you loved and didn’t even know it. But only through Nick, did you feel it!

But I’m getting a little ahead of our journey….

You were so happy when Dickie gave you your first car. That beautiful blue Opal. You went everywhere in it. It was a great car. Unfortunately, no one taught you how to take care of it….like change the oil…bye-bye Opal. So then he gave you the Buick Riviera. You did much better at taking care of this car, but I seem to remember being out with you shopping and we got caught in an ice storm. You looked at me and said, Uh-oh. I said what do you mean uh-oh….you replied my tires are bald. Here we are in Auburn and we need to get back to Rochdale. I thought we had covered taking care of a car, but apparently not. Needless to say, I drove us home to my house where you stayed over night. Our first sleepover!

Our many talks were of our families. Phyllis was so happy when Mal was born. She talked of going to Marlboro to visit her cousins on many occasions. She would get really excited when she was traveling to see Louise and the kids. I think she felt a bond with Lynne because she spoke of her often. Although she missed seeing her sister and brothers, she had an acceptance of their lives and was happy for them. I can still see the pictures of Leo, Louise, and Dickie on the buffet in the dining room…and yes, Louise had a pretty pink sweater on in the picture….I remember as there was always a game board on the table in the dining room where we played Chinese Checkers.

And when my brother was dying, Phyllis took me to the woods and started praying for him. I asked if we could go to the church, Our Lady of Angels, and she led the way. I was confused that she could go into a Catholic church, as Debbie who was Jewish, could not.

Every time I think of the three of us, I think of the Western Wall in Jerusalem. Armenian Quarter for Phyllis, Jewish Quarter for Debbie, Christian Quarter for me…but we never met a Muslim to complete the wall full circle.

Betty and Steve were always in the background waiting, watching…like good parents. Betty more so than Steve…he just had the greatest smile and laugh. Betty was always cooking something like rice pilaf, stuffed grape leaves or jelly on sheets. But more importantly, she was always trying to get Phyllis to clean her room because you couldn’t find the other bed in the room as it was covered in her clothes, and she was ordered to do the dishes!!! I remember Betty’s Dad coming to live with them. He was such a nice man. Phyllis and I had each other to lean on when it was time to say goodbye to him. And as Betty and Steve got along in their years, Phyllis and I would go grocery shopping for them. Even my children would help bring those groceries from Stop & Shop up those front stairs!!!! Phyllis would run to get prescriptions and anything else they needed so she could go out with her friends at night. As I was married, I couldn’t go, but she would meet her friends and have a great time.

Picture it 1983….Leaving behind the ice and snow…

I moved to Florida with my family and you were there helping me all the way to West Palm Beach. I hated putting you on a plane back to Massachusetts, but you had to take care of your parents and I understood. During this time, you and Claire met up and shared your world as you had so much in common. AYF was a big part of your life. You traveled and participated. I was so happy for you. I was so happy when you and Claire came to visit me.

Then we lost touch. You didn’t know I was flying up to Massachusetts. I would sit outside your house on Wayne Street waiting for you to come home – night after night. And you never came. I flew back to Florida feeling empty, worried, confused, and not knowing what had happened to you. We always knew each other…and this time, I didn’t know.

Apparently, you reconnected with Russ Lekas from Gates Lane Elementary School. You made up your mind to love this man for better or worse…for only a few knew the pain and hurt you went through and will remain secrets forever. You believed and lived by your commitment to Russ to the very end. Everyone said it wouldn’t last, but you just had to prove them all wrong. When you gave your love, you meant it!

It wasn’t until my husband passed away in 1994, did I see you again…and you brought Nick with you. During such a sad time, you brought joy back into my life. Thank you. And then, you were gone again. Not knowing where the three of you were was hard, but I trusted you.

Moving ahead….one night at 2am you were on – what else? – the computer. And although we hadn’t seen or talked in years, you found me through my brother on FaceBook! You messaged me and I made the IT department at my job connect me to FaceBook so I could get your phone number. I didn’t care if they fired me. This was more important. You were so happy when we finally got to talk – not so much Nick and Russ because we talked every day on the phone…for hours. And Nick finally admitted he was jealous! Sorry Nick, but I was there first. You had her 24 hours a day – every day. We had years to catch up on. Besides, no one could ever understand how our lives were built on teaching each other going through life alone. My siblings were all boys and Phyl’s were married and moved. It was just us! Trying to grow up in a world we didn’t understand.

I remember flying up to Massachusetts to surprise you as you were going through cancer. Debbie and I picked you up and off to one of our old stomping grounds - Lincoln Plaza. As a birthday present, we went into one of the stores and I bought you tons of yarn and a crocheting needle. I told you it would serve many purposes. First, something to keep you busy, something to keep you warm in the winter months, and something to give as a gift. You were so happy. You called me when you completed Nick’s afghan. Then started working on another. How I miss your creative ideas and your wisdom to complete them.

Picture it…2023

In the meantime, I know Phyllis must be very busy greeting family and old friends. I’m sure she has found Cam by now, as losing him was devastating to her watching how it hurt her son and not being able to do anything to help.

I know she is grateful to Russ for taking care of her himself at home and giving her dignity to her very last day. I know it couldn’t have been easy.

When I think of you I will always remember the many nights of playing scrabble, cribbage, and a cup of tea. Or going to see a Batman movie in Lincoln Plaza and seeing Dickie there. Although I hated the 80s music, you loved it, so when I hear it playing I will pause and think of you with love.

But when I reminisced about the things we planned to do together in the future – like, being together when 1999 became the year 2000 – never happened. Or when we got older we would be sitting on the front porch in rocking chairs watching the traffic go by – never happened, I will try to accept that things happen for a reason.

You were never born to take care of your parents…you were born to love us unconditionally.

We talked about the end of our lives and how we could never leave one behind. I always thought it would be me first, then Deb, then you last. I was so wrong. But when we were younger we solved that problem by saying we would go together…and we were at peace with that.

One thing we never talked about was saying good-bye….and we never will.

This time it will be my turn to find you…and as always, we will pick up right where we left off. In the meantime, I promise you that I will always be there for Nick, as will Louise, Leo, and Dickie and pray that this gives you the acceptance and peace you have always searched for!

Until then…I love you so very much!
(The last words we spoke to each other) Read less

Tina Hopewell Crooke

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Nicholas Lekas

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Tina Hopewell Crooke

Russ I am so sorry for you, you should be very proud of how you kept her in her own home till the end. You... Read more Russ I am so sorry for you, you should be very proud of how you kept her in her own home till the end. You and Nick were everything... Read more Russ I am so sorry for you, you should be very proud... Read more

Donna Jandrow

Dear Russ, Nick and family, I am so very sorry for your loss. May she rest in peace.

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Tina Hopewell Crooke

Nicholas Lekas

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carolann chapman

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Elizabeth Karpowich

I love you Sister I'll remember you forever ❤️ Ty for being who you've always been Kisses always beautiful 🌹🙏🏾😘

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Nicholas Lekas

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Elizabeth Karpowich

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Robin Menard

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Michelle Hopewell Jakubiak

Elizabeth Karpowich

Tina Hopewell Crooke

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Michelle Hopewell Jakubiak

Such a nice photo of them. ❤️ Such a nice photo of them. ❤️ Such a nice photo of them. ❤️

Michelle Hopewell Jakubiak

She was the sweetest soul. I am so grateful for how much she loved my brother Russ and giving us an amazing son in Nick. Rest in Paradise now. You will be missed and forever loved.

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Nicholas Lekas

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Robin Menard

You have loved hard and was loved 🥰 thank you for all the years you’ve spent loving my brother! Your son ... Read more You have loved hard and was loved 🥰 thank you for all the years you’ve spent loving my brother! Your son is a wonderful sweet ... Read more You have loved hard and was loved 🥰 thank you for all... Read more

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