Phyllis (Perry) Van Dall Abrams, beloved wife, mother, grandmother, aunt, and dear friend of many passed away on Sept. 16, 2023, at the age of 90. She was surrounded by family and friends at her care center at Mason Pointe in Chesterfield, Missouri. She had lived out her retirement years primarily in St. Louis, Mo. and Great Bend Kansas, where she served as a partner in mission with the Dominican sisters. She is survived by her three children, and their spouses Leslie Van Dall Friedman of Santa Fe N.M., Dirk Edward Van Dall of Brooklyn, NY (Kate Lawless Van Dall), and Kristin Perry Ladd ( Mathew Ladd) of Durango Co. She is also survived by eight grandchildren, Gwen Hume, Gabriel Friedman Teddy Friedman Julianna Friedman, Tyler Ladd, Kara Ladd, Desmond Van Dall, and Milo Van Dall. Also by four great grandchildren.. Lilliana Hume, Demetri Friedman, Lucy Friedman, and Elliott Friedman.

Phyllis was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma to parents Dr. Hugh and Lois Elaine Perry. She attended Central High School in Tulsa and was an exceptional student and volunteer. She then went on to attend one year at Wellesley College in Massachusetts, then transferred to the University of Oklahoma, where she received her BA in English and was Phi Beta Kappa. She was a Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority member while attending the University of Oklahoma.

She married Don Van Dall in 1952 and lived in Bartlesville, Oklahoma where she continued volunteering for the community in her early married life. The family also lived overseas for several years in Libya and Singapore, where Don was an oil attorney. Always the adventurer..she made a comfortable and loving home for her family despite difficult and unusual circumstances in different countries.

Phyllis then moved back to Tulsa, Oklahoma, with her children after her divorce in the early 1970's, where she began her career and psychiatric training at the University of Tulsa. She then moved to Denver, Colorado with her children where she graduated with a Masters of Social Work from the University of Denver in 1973. She practiced as a psychotherapist at Bethesda Community Mental Health Center. Then she had a very lengthy and successful private practice as a psychotherapist in Denver till around 2002, when she retired.

In 1977, she married her beloved husband, Dr. Adolph Abrams, and they were happily married and lived in Colorado until his death in 2002. Three step-children from this marriage survive Phyllis; Lynn Hermannson of Boulder, Co., Leslie Pizzi of Boulder, Co. (and two granddaughters), and Lewis Abrams of North Carolina.

After her husband Adolph's death and retirement in 2002, she continued to follow her spiritual/caring journey and became a partner in Mission with the Dominican Sisters in Great Bend, Kansas, where she lived and served with them for four years. Some of her work there included spiritual counseling, where she was part of the Spirit Life program for spiritual formation and training for spiritual directors. She also led several groups there, including Companions in Christ and a Thomas Merton Meditation group ( which she continued to lead later in her life after moving to St. Louis). She also developed and led short retreats on Grief and Depression and held positions on the Spiritual Advisory Counsel for Heartland Center for Spirituality. She developed many special and vital friendships during her years in Great Bend, and she will be missed by that community, among many others.

During the last years of her life, Phyllis remained generous and kind, creating knitting groups in the care centers where she resided,  where residents gathered socially and knitted hats and scarves for the homeless. She also attended an outside knitting group with some St. Louis friends. She was a member of St. Joseph Catholic Church in Manchester, MO.

Phyllis was a vibrant, loving soul whose love for travel, constant learning, and adventure was only surpassed by her beautiful, deep love and devotion for her family and friends. She always delighted in family news and stories and loved having" visitors." She was social till the end of her life and full of her gift of hospitality, and had an amazing way of making people feel loved and at ease around her. Her laugh, smile, and wisdom will endure in all the family that survives her. Her special" Familly Reunions," which she would plan and sponsor for all the children, their spouses, and all the grandchildren, will be forever etched in our memories and hearts. She was simply put..."a person who always tried to make a positive difference in the people and world around her and succeeded!" She was a loving support and a mentor to all members of our family, and her sense of humor, adventurousness, graciousness, and generosity of spirit will be a model to all who knew her forever!

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