FIRST DATE

Thirty eight years ago on April 28, 1986 I went on what one might call a first date. We were meeting for the first time in a diner in the middle of Bridgeport. It was all kind of surreal. It was almost like it was a devine arrangement. He read me a poem and we had a contest to see how far our straw papers could reach across the table. It wasn't fancy, it wasn't even anything special, but as we both found out later, when we ended the evening we both got in our separate cars, turned on the radio to the same radio station and heard the same song by Dionne Warwick, "That's What Friends are For". As the song played in our separate cars, after meeting what one might call a stranger for our first four hour encounter, we both had the exact same thought..." I am going to marry this person." We did. We were engaged a year later on June 8, 1987 and were married less than two years on February 14, 1988. Today my forever Valentine of 38 years has gone to heaven to find us the best seat in the diner so we can be friends forever in eternity. For now, I will remember the words we heard on that very first day...

And if I should ever go away

Well, then, close your eyes and try

To feel the way we do today. 

Follow You Follow Me

I was twenty six when I met Pat at the diner in Bridgeport for what we might say was our first date. Every night from that day on we shared something special. Every night when we said good night whether we were leaving each other for the night or just going to bed in the other room, we had a special moment that continued each and every night until our first baby arrived. We would turn off all the lights, find our special 45, fire up the turntable and slow dance to our special song: Follow You Follow Me by Genesis. It wasn't a song that many would pick for a first dance at a wedding or even a song to request when listening to a band. But it was our song, a special song, a song that declared our never ending commitment to one another. Ironically the song signified the genesis of our relationship by was created by the band of the same name-Genesis. The lyrics became our banner for our lives together. It was our vow, our eternal promise. In fact, the front of our wedding invitation was covered in the lyrics that declared our commitment to follow one another for all of the days that we knew would be. Every night holding each other close we declared that every day is a perfect day to spend alone and that we would follow one another for all the days and nights that we know would be. When I went to the hospital on April 29, 2024 to hold Pat's hand and say goodbye for now, I played our song one last time hoping that he thinks of me when he's waiting for his dance partner in heaven when I follow him into eternity. 

Follow You Follow Me

I was twenty six when I met Pat at the diner in Bridgeport for what we might say was our first date. Every night from that day on we shared something special. Every night when we said good night whether we were leaving each other for the night or just going to bed in the other room, we had a special moment that continued each and every night until our first baby arrived. We would turn off all the lights, find our special 45, fire up the turntable and slow dance to our special song: Follow You Follow Me by Genesis. It wasn't a song that many would pick for a first dance at a wedding or even a song to request when listening to a band. But it was our song, a special song, a song that declared our never ending commitment to one another. Ironically the song signified the genesis of our relationship by was created by the band of the same name-Genesis. The lyrics became our banner for our lives together. It was our vow, our eternal promise. In fact, the front of our wedding invitation was covered in the lyrics that declared our commitment to follow one another for all of the days that we knew would be. Every night holding each other close we declared that every day is a perfect day to spend alone and that we would follow one another for all the days and nights that we know would be. When I went to the hospital on April 29, 2024 to hold Pat's hand and say goodbye for now, I played our song one last time hoping that he thinks of me when he's waiting for his dance partner in heaven, when I follow him into eternity. 

sharon and annie- words do not seem adequate to convey the pain and sense of loss i know you are experiencing. a brother is a special bond.  

to the whole wade family; my deepest condolences for your loss.  my heart hurts with you.  ❤️‍🩹. pat is lifted up and at peace. may his memory ever be a blessing. 

I know words mean little right now, but I like to remember that Jesus said, “I go to prepare a place for you, so that where I am, you may be also.”

And in light of those words - that promise - there’s a prayer that I always find very comforting that I would like to share with you and your family.

We seem to give Pat back to you, Dear God, who gave him first to us. And as you did not lose him in giving, so we have not lost him by his return. Not as the world gives, give you, O Lover of Souls. What you give, you do not take away. For what is yours is ours always, if we are yours. And life is eternal, and love is forever; and death is only a horizon, and a horizon is nothing more than the limit of our sight. Lift us up, O God, that we may see further. Cleanse our eyes that we may see more clearly. Draw us closer to you that we may know we are closer to those we love who are with you in Paradise. As Jesus has prepared a place for us, prepare us, we pray, for that happy place; that where Pat is, and you are, O Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, we may be also. AMEN