Memories of Patricia "Pat" Gould

In memory of

Patricia "Pat" Gould

Toronto, ON, Canada

1928 - June 30, 2021

1928 - Jun 30, 2021

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Lorna Neal

I will miss you. You were always great company at the theater and a delight at Christmas dinners and New Years breakfasts. RIP

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Julia Skrebels

So sorry to hear this news. Phyl Bowker and Julia and Simon send love and condolences. Neighbours from 1971 until 1975 Phyl and Tony and Pat and Ron remained friends when Phyl and Tony returned to the UK and they got together every few years to catch up.
Pat was a kind and generous neighbour and Phyl learned an awful lot about grabbing a bargain at an auction sale from her. Xx

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Barb Thompson

Ruth, Keith and families:
Connected through Arthur District High School,
we wish to express our sympathy in your loss.
Pat also worked in realty with our brother in law .
In recent years Ruth, we really appreciated your bringing
Pat to our retiree breakfasts in Elora and the Dodsworth Christmas gathering. She will be missed,
Love, Barb and Dick Thompson

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Maria and Ian Tott

Keith, Jo-anne and family we are so sorry for your loss. Didn’t know Pat, but from the obituary she was a lovely lady. Hugs to all of you.

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Judy F

I learned a great deal from Aunt Pat about life, family history and positivity. One expression she taught me was, "there is nothing as positive as ignorance." That's informed my take on things for over 50 years.

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Marilyn Theurer

Ruth and Keith and families. We do sorry to hear of Pat's passing. Ron was a great neighbor both at school and at home. We collaborated on many projects at school.
Pat was a great neighbor and friend. I was always happy to hear of the details of her many travels. They certainly did a lot of travel. Sometimes they would be nearly home from one trip when they would be packing for the next one.
She will be greatly missed.

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Dianne MacDonald

Ruth, Keith and families, I wish to extend my sincere condolences in the passing of your mother, Pat. She and your Dad were great parents to work with when you both were in elementary school. I remember taking my class to your place in Arthur to see some antiques for our Pioneer Unit!
I will seeing her at some of the fundraising suppers in the Arthur arena. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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Kerstin Baker-Ash

2007, Paris, Brant, ON, Canada

The Henry sisters at Sam and Dot’s 60th anniversary party.

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Comments:

Judy F

How great it was to see these 4 together! How great it was to see these 4 together! How great it was to see these 4 together!

Michael Anderson

Shortly after 8:30 last night, my grandmother died. This was not unexpected: she was in hospital after two strokes in rapid succession, and after several days the doctors were quite certain she was not recovering. Lots of tests yielding charts with chaotic lines which ought to be straight, and straight lines which ought to be diagonal. Bad news.

In the normal times, the family would have been summoned to gather around and pat her hand and watch her sleep in the hopes that she might flicker to life for long enough to say goodbye. Under the circumstances, Covid protocols allowed only one designated visitor.

And, upon reflection, perhaps it's kinder this way.

My great grandmother lived well past 100, giving her daughter a front-row seat on her decline -- and absolute clarity on a specific fact: she didn't want to go that way. She didn't want to gradually decline past the point of no return, kept alive by tubes and pills but quite unable to leave her bed, perpetually confused by everything around her. No, she was clear: she wanted to get out while the going was good.

In this regard, I'm afraid to say that she outlived her ambitions. One by one, the systems were shutting down, and she was acutely aware of each new failure: she missed the taste of food, the sound of her grandson's piano recitals, the name of the neighbour who used to live in the house with the pink siding and the rose-of-sharons.

The greatest betrayal of all was her body's failure to walk. The legs worked just fine, but the balance and the eyesight were both going, with catastrophic results. She would fondly reminisce about riding the Toronto subway for decades without falling once (even on the wet tile steps which routinely take people out), and express profound bitterness about the railings and the dutiful elbows she now needed in order to get around. And the isolating impact of Covid-19 made this all the worse.

With all that in mind, gathering the family to form a single, final memory -- my grandmother, unconscious in a hospital bed, her hair far too long, a feeding tube down her throat, hooked up to all sorts of beeping equipment -- almost feels like it would have been a final unkindness.

Instead, Pat Gould (never "Patricia", not even to strangers) would want me to remember her as vigorous and vital. The Muskoka farmgirl who mastered the city before moving back to the country and incorporating the best of both into everything she did.

The motivated professional who relished the challenges of the working world: who kept her career going even as a married mother of two (which, living in a small town in the 60s and 70s, was no small feat!), and whose eagerness to work with new technologies and learn new skills paid off time and time again, helping her grow and thrive through the dramatic changes of the 80s and 90s.

The confident socializer who could charm anyone you put in front of her. The creative parent whose children inherited her independence and taste for exploration. The world traveller who had uniformly already been wherever you're thinking of visiting next. Half of a marriage which saw its 50th anniversary, thanks in no small part to how equitably she and my grandfather shared its burdens.

When she was in her prime, she was always ever-so competent. Every problem had a solution, and she knew just what it was. Anything you wanted, she could hook you up, with plans which sometimes rivalled Dolly Levi's. (How do you get a bookcase set up? You invite the neighbour's boys over for pizza and lemonade, and mention that they can watch the hockey if they can set the new TV up for you, and the TV has to go in a bookcase, which means...)

And that's how I'm choosing to remember her. Absurd as this is to say, my grandmother wasn't born on the dementia floor of an assisted living facility. She was bold and bright, ingenious and independent, and completely unafraid of the world around her. She was surrounded by friends, thrilled to see family, and excited about every new adventure. It was an absolute privilege to spend as much time with her as I did, and it's these memories I need to work to the surface as often as I can.

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Jo Anne Gould

Sharon Kennett

Our sincere and deepest condolences to Pat Gould’s family and friends. We will always remember her as she was our absolutely amazing Real Estate Agent and was always very personable and a very dedicated agent and worked very hard for us 32 years ago when we bought our farm that we Love and we are still here today and think of her fondly.
The Kennett’s.

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Jo Anne Gould

Judy F

1932, Smallbones Bay, Muskoka

Jo Anne Gould

Judy F

1932, Family Farm, the Henry sisters

Judy F

Bracebridge, ON, Canada

The family Farm, Ev, Dot holding Pat, 1930

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Judy F

1945, Muskoka

Dot, Pat & Kay

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Comments:

Judy F

Blakeney, 1959, when Pat & Ron first moved to the Ottawa Valley - many wonderful summer holidays were spent... Read more Blakeney, 1959, when Pat & Ron first moved to the Ottawa Valley - many wonderful summer holidays were spent here with them - they... Read more Blakeney, 1959, when Pat & Ron first moved to the Ottawa... Read more

Judy F

Ruth, Richard and Keith & Jo-ann, Mike, David, Ron, George & Alice,

Our heart's with you all as you go through losing your mom and grandmother. I remember how excited she and your dad were to welcome you both into the world, how she wrote me a letter from Almonte in Ruth's one-month old voice. She took on motherhood like she did most things I witnessed - with her own -perhaps Hazel-inspired, but definitely her own - fiery confidence - researching, reading, and owning her choices. I read Michael's lovely tribute post to her, and it read so consistently true to how I experienced her.

She was an amazing aunt, offering me her wisdom, tips and tricks, and modelling strengths in an individual and as part of a partnership that were different from what I was exposed to at home and other places in my world. She was a wonderful daughter and sister as well as mom, grandmother and friend. She was one of the pair with Uncle Garry that Nan referred to as "the kids" - she straddled being part of a trio with her older sisters and Garry's closest sib. She was the most pragmatic, "take charge and get on with it" in the family and navigated crises with straightforward love.

May the huge love she offered you and everyone who knew her everyday continue through you, even as you miss her. "Love doesn't die, people do." I'm so thankful I had Aunt Pat in my life.

Judy, Mark and family

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Jo Anne Gould

Barb Twiss

Sorry to hear of your mother’s passing. She was a remarkable lady. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all. Deepest sympathy.
Charlie Barb and family

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