Nate and I often talked on the phone. Actually talked. In fact, I have searched for a left message, but I realize I have none because I always answered when the kids would call. And they would pick up when l called them as well.  

The telephone was always an interest to the kids as they were growing, and with phone technology changing so rapidly, it's easy to understand why. No longer are phones the black, white, or silver toned objects hanging on the walls of our kitchen or sitting next to our beds on the bedside table, they fit in our hands and pockets and are with us all the time.

When the boys were little, they would play with the telephones in our house: the cordless phones that sit on their bases often with a message machine attached. (I am quite sure there is an archaic version sitting in a museum somewhere now.) Nevertheless, the boys loved talking to each other on those phones, having conversations that spread from one room to the next. It was funny to hear their silliness! 

As the kids grew older, I often called them. Old school I know, but I love hearing their voices. When Nate went to South Carolina, he would always call me as he walked to class or facetime me when he was with friends. My most recent facetime with Nate was on his 21st bday. He was out with friends and just called me to say hi! Dan and I wished him a happy birthday and we laughed with him as he shared his 21st bday  agenda with us. I remember when the call ended, I looked at Dan and said "What kid calls his mom to say hi during the evening of his 21st bday when he is out with friends?" and then I thought, Nate. Nate does that!

I miss your calls Nate but I am so very happy I have all the memories of our many conversations! Keep talking to me because as crazy as it sounds, I will keep talking to you.

Love you bud and miss you every minute of every day!

PTYof5 Forever 

Dixie Belle. Many of you know our Dixie dog. Nate adored her too. Let me tell you how we got Dixie.

Nate and Emily wanted a dog. They wanted one bad! After a disastrous Christmas gift in 2013 when Leslie and I gave them a battery operated fake dog that barked and walked, Leslie and I decided it was time to get the real thing.

Nate and Emily asked and asked and asked for a dog for Christmas.  We told them "Santa does not bring live animals to people - he isn't unfair, and knows it has to be an entire family decision.". I told Leslie it was her decision because we all knew the vast majority of the care and training would fall on her due to her being home all day most days while I was at work and the kids were at school.  I knew I would love a dog, but she had to be the one really ready and OK with it.

Leslie looked and looked and finally, her brother Ryan found one on a site "Hugs for Hounds". Long story short, Leslie picked up Dixie (this is a story by itself!) and a good friend, Ann Michele, agreed to keep the dog for a couple days as we planned how to give her to them.

The plan was set: It would be on December 23rd.  The dog was from Leslie and I (not Santa).  We coordinated with Ann Michele - a note to go with her, a time, etc. Then it was time - Ann Michele put Dixie in a wrapped box with a lid with holes poked in it (and a bow on top!), and she rang the doorbell and left the box on the front porch.

We went to the front door and made a big deal out of the box waiting there. "Look a note is with the box", Leslie said and handed it to Nate. We both think Nate knew what was up somehow.  Even at 10 years old - maybe the holes in the box? He began to read the note, but he was scanning so far ahead with his eyes that he couldn't even read the note to everyone. He was stumbling and making no sense because his excitement level was spiked so high that he was just about vibrating! Grant took the note from him and read it calmly.  At the end of the note reading, Nate opened the box and the excitement really began! I have a video of it all and you can hear the intake gasp of Nate and Emily Grace.  You can hear about a dozen "Oh my gosh!" comments from the kids. It is a special video we have shown many of you. Every video of Nate now has even more significance. I am glad I videod the kids receiving Dixie Belle!

So began the love of our Dixie Belle.  No fake barks this time. Just happy whining, tail wagging, howls of joy from all of us in the family and from our Dixie Belle (she howls with excitement when we return home from trips!).

Nate's love of Dixie continued until the day he died.  We have many photos of Nate and Dixie - I will post a couple.  He will be glad to see her again when Dixie crosses the rainbow bridge someday!

I miss and love you Nate Baker!

Fishing. Nate loved it! I just went on a day of fishing with my brother, Steve, and Tim and Duncan Macaleese off the coast of Cape Hatteras and it reminded me of doing the same thing in 2022 with Nate.

Tim loves to fish and is always inviting me and others to go with him.  Nate and I made the trip down to Hatteras in late June 2022 to take a shot at it. Tim has a house there and we worked until about 1 or so and then headed to the boat with Nate and Duncan. We headed out from the marina, made a stop to fuel up the boat and grab some ice, and headed out Hatteras inlet to go do some offshore fishing. 

We were crossing the inlet around 3pm. This gave us 5+ hours of daylight to deal with. Our plan: an hour to the fishing grounds (about 20-25 miles offshore to the Diamond Shoals Tower), a couple hours of fishing, an hour back to Hatteras inlet in order to be going through the inlet with plenty of daylight left. You DO NOT want to go through Hatteras inlet in the dark. It can get very knarly - which is an understatement.

We had pretty smooth water on the way out and ran at 25-30 miles an hour to get there pretty quick. Tim rigged up all the lines as we got close and we put in lines and began trolling as soon as we got there. There is a lot of waiting when you fish (they call it fishing, not catching we all joke).  We talked, laughed and listened to music as we were trolling. We got a few bites and even hooked a fish or two but they spit the hooks before we got them to the boat (very frustrating thing but we were on the water together - which makes it a good day!).

We were running out of time. We wanted to be heading back to the inlet at 6pm to hit it by 7pm. But we didn’t have any fish in the boat! We decided to troll toward the inlet to enable us to fish a few more minutes. It was a beautiful day! Pretty darn calm for 25 miles offshore, sunny, small breeze. We were really enjoying ourselves on this adventure.

After about 15 or 20 more minutes of no bites, we all decided it was time to book it back in and started reeling in all the lines. You can’t run fast with lines in the water. As we are reeling in the 2nd to last line it happens - “FISH ON!”.  We have hooked a fish! Adrenaline spikes in all of us as Tim starts giving instructions and we start reeling in the fish (I literally don’t remember who was reeling). It is about 2 minutes of pure excitement!  We can see the fish - it’s a Mahi. Beautiful, blue-green shimmery fish that taste wonderful! We get it near the boat and Tim gaffs it and pulls it into the boat.  Wooohooo! We all cheer and give each other high fives.

We finish bringing in and stowing the gear and head back toward the inlet on wide, smooth, rolling waves that aren’t very large. We even crack open a beer - our rule was no beer until we catch a fish! We make great time, it is warm, we are all happy and all smiles because we had a great day and actually caught a fish - a tasty one!

The day seemed cool at the time. As I reflect on it now, it was amazing.  Getting a calm, warm day to go fishing offshore with friends isn’t something you get to do often. It takes everything lining up - work time off or weekend, resources (boat, gear, etc), AND the wild card - the weather has to cooperate.  There are many days that you can’t take a small boat through the inlet. On top of all that, the people you enjoy have to coordinate to be there.

What an amazing fishing day adventure. Thank you Tim for inviting us and providing all the resources and knowledge to make a day like that happen!

I bet Nate is sitting in a big fighting chair with a big Blue Marlin up there now. He’s on a 60 foot sportfisherman - maybe a Viking or Bertram. I can see his smile and hear his voice as he commentates the whole time he is reeling!

Reel em in Nate! I love you and miss you every day!

Snow! Nate loved snow. He loved snow because he loved to ski (at first), snowboard, shovel driveways to make money, walk around in it and listen to the hush all around, AND - he loved to sled in it!

Sometime leading up to Feb 16, 2014, it snowed quite a bit in Richmond. Nate had the bright idea to go up to the lake and ride the 4 wheelers around in it! I loved the idea and thought it would be a ton of fun so off we went to the lake bundled up. It had snowed enough that I remember when we go to the lake, we had to park my car on the side of the road because it wouldn’t get through the snow banks in front of the driveway due to the plowing they had done.  The road was clear but the snowbank was eighteen inches or so and hard pack from melting/refreezing. So we trudged in through the snow to the garage.

We opened the garage, and began to pull the 4 wheelers out.  We had the Yamaha Bruin 250 and Nate and Grant’s little Falcon 110 that pawpaw Bobby had given him. It had been cousin Chase’s before Nate and Chase had outgrown it - so Bobby gave it to us. I say Nate and Grant but Nate was the one who rode it 99% of the time. Grant was a little large for it already and didn’t have a ton of interest but you couldn’t keep Nate off it!

Anyway, we pull them out of the garage into the 4-6” of snow still on the ground, fire them up and…and…and the little Falcon tires just spin in the snow! It literally won’t go anywhere in the snow due to being so light and having only a little tread left on the tires.  The blue Yamaha only goes about 5 miles an hour in the snow with pretty new tires despite lots of throttle. After a couple minutes of trying to ride them around, we realize this is fruitless and not a lot of fun. Nate is bummed. I am bummed. We came all the way to the lake with eager anticipation and it was a bust.

SO, what do we do? We walk around back to check out the lake and check on the dock. I realize that there is a TON of snow on the hill leading down to the lake. It is perfect for sledding! We don’t have sleds so we improvise - I grab the keys to the dock house and pull out a float tube. It is perfect for sledding!

Nate and I proceed to sled down the hill together. I am worried the float tube will pop given my weight so Nate does most the sledding.  I build him a ramp halfway down the hill and he laughs hysterically as he jumps off it time and again.

There we were, two giddy boys doing silly stuff. Nate was absolutely exceptional at doing that - bringing joy and laughter no matter the task - work or play!

I miss you Nate. I love you my adventure buddy!

Most lawn mowers Nate fixed just needed a carburetor cleaning or some belt or cable for self propel replaced or adjusted. However, there was one that was a little different.

Our neighbor up the street, Mark Espigh, stopped on his way by one day and told me he had a mower for Nate if he wanted it. I said thanks and i would bring him up to check it out and grab it. “It’s an ancient zero turn and it may not be worth his time” is about what Mark said as I recall.

Up to Mark’s house we went. Sitting in his driveway is a rather large, yellow, zero turn mower. I can tell Nate is excited and interested immediately. Mark shares that he’s had it for a very long time, it has mowed many a lawn but its constantly breaking and he’s tired of dealing with it and it’s Nate’s if he wants it. The hydraulics aren’t working, one of the front wheel mounts is cracked and canted off at a slight angle and a bunch of other small issues. It has served a long and good life mowing for Mark. 

“The engine looks nice and pretty new” Nate says. Mark answers, “Oh yeah, i had to replace the whole engine last year - the engine alone is probably worth a bunch.” Now I think Nate is giddy. Ain’t no “if he wants it” now. Nate is practically drooling!  It’s a large V-twin mower engine. 24 or 26 horsepower as I recall. Big, expensive, powerful, barely broken in after only a year or so of use.

Nate fires it up and drives it down the driveway off to our house. He has to go really slow so as to not break the front wheel (with the cracked mount) clean off. I talk to Mark and thank him. I offered to give him half of what Nate sells the mower (or just the engine) for. Mark refuses - he knows Nate and I think he was excited to continue to feed his ingenuity around putting in the work to fix and sell things.

Over the next week or so, Nate welds the cracked front wheel mount and creates an angle brace for the mount and welds it into place to support the wheel mount and make it sturdy.  He grinds it down after to make it look better (Nate could weld but it wasn’t yet the prettiest welds). He then paints it a “close enough” yellow and darn if it doesn’t look like a semi-pro repair. I remember the hydraulic tank was leaking and I think we bought a new tank and I think we got the hydraulics working again after that. Not perfect but good enough you could raise and lower the mower deck again.

Nate fiddles with some other stuff to clean it and lubricate various parts and generally gets it working OK. Pretty good actually.  It is really old but he puts it on FB and sells it. He gets $900 for it!

He’s excited.  I’m happy for him and a bit surprised.  Most riding mower’s we fixed only sold for $300-$500. This was a lot of money.  Nate and I discuss it and he agrees we should give Mark half of it. Mark again refuses and smiles huge as he hears the story of Nate’s repair and the sale. “Well done Nate - that is awesome!” Is what Mark tells him.

So Nate and I discuss some more and we decide to buy Mark a nice bottle of bourbon we know he likes. Of course, I have to do that as Nate is nowhere near 21 yet. I don’t think Nate was even driving at this point. Mark’s happy, I’m happy, and Nate is certainly happy. I mean, how many times have you seen him not happy?

Thank you again Mark Espigh! Thank you for feeding Nate’s entrepreneurship at that young age.

I love you and miss you Nate Baker. Every day. Every night. Every time I see a mower I am reminded of your passion for fixing things. Just like me.

Our family's memory of Nate goes back to many years ago, and what always struck me is how happy he was no matter the place or activity. He truly enjoyed every activity, whether it was water activities, skiing or just hanging around with family.

Reading all these memories makes you realize how unique and special he was. What really brought tears to my eyes was the discussion of the truck and motorsports endeavors and the associated mechanical work requirements. Being able to do that as a father/son is somewhat a throwback to earlier years and reminded me so much of my relationship to my father. I know how special doing that together was.

Reading about all the other people Nate blessed in so many different ways just shows how much he will keep on giving to everybody whose life he impacted. These outpourings of tremendous memories is simply the result of a (too short) life well lived! What a great tribute to hold close.

If you know Nate, you probably know he loved his truck. If you saw his truck, you probably thought it was a good looking one. I didn't buy it that way - that was all Nate that made it look so good.

The first thing he decided it needed was a truck bed box. So we paid attention on FaceBook Marketplace and found one he liked rather quickly and went and picked it up. It was diamondplate and in good shape. We installed it and filled it with some truck stuff - tie down straps, some tools, gloves, tow hitch, etc. It quickly became filled with some non-truck stuff - smelly lax gear, a small wreath he would put on the front around Christmas, etc.

Next, he was on the hunt for wheels. Before finding wheels, he replaced the actual lug nuts with long pointed ones. To put them on, he had to leave off the center caps of the wheels - so he painted the center black and installed the long, chrome, pointed lug nuts. I wasn't a huge fan of them, but Nate liked them and that is what mattered. You can judge for yourself when I find a picture of them.

Back to wheels. He was looking and he had a swing and a miss with the wheels and tires. He picked up a set of wheels/tires off FB that he thought would fit the truck - but they didn't! You see, different brand trucks and even different models and years of the same brand can have different lug patterns. 5 lug, 6 lug, slightly different spacing, etc. He managed to buy a set that had the same number of lugs, but they were not spaced the same so they wouldn't fit. Back onto FB marketplace they went. As I recall, he lost $200 on the mix up as he paid $1200 for them but could only get $1k when he sold them. He didn't sweat that too much - he just chalked it up to learning. Attention to detail - just like his dad, he learned some of that the hard way. (Or expensive way in this case). "I can make more money dad, I can't make more time!" He smiled and told me. I laughed at him b/c those wheels/tires stayed in my garage for more time than I wanted as he tried to sell them.

Anyway, a while later he found a perfect set he wanted - a beautiful set of 20" alloys from a GMC truck wrapped with a set of Nitto Ridge Grappler with a lot of tread left. If you don't know wheels/tires, this is a sweet setup! I was a little concerned as the tires are $450-$500 each. I thought the truck would eat those tires and buying $2k sets of tires every couple years didn't sound fun. Nate and I made a deal - good stock tires are $1k or $1,200 to buy, balance and get installed. So, we agreed I would pay $1,200 when it needed new tires and he would cover the rest.

Nate also wanted a leveling kit for the truck. You must have a leveled truck for it to look good. Putting nice wheels/tires on a stock suspension is like wearing a bow tie with a t-shirt. It's pointless and you don't look that good unless you have the whole package. So, for Christmas (may have been the same one as the Cherry Bomb), he received a Rough Country leveling kit. It came with everything you need to level your truck and raise it about 1.5-2". A nice, tasteful, small lift to give it proper stance.

Nate and Logan Miller fought with that front end leveling kit in our garage for hours one day. I came home from work, and they were laughing and telling me about it. They were laughing because of the crazy amount of time and busted knuckles they put into it. There were many blurt outs of choice words they shared, BUT - the front leveling kit was on and they were excited. I believe they put the wheels and tires on the same day. I can't remember exactly but I do remember it had a slight squat at this point because they didn't do the rear suspension. They had fought so much and were out of energy to tackle the rear so that went into "another day" bucket. Nate lived with that truck slightly squatted for a while until one weekend I asked him if I could help him put the rear kit on it and he agreed. We spent a few hours in the garage doing it and it went smoother than the front, but I wouldn't say it went smooth. Like idiots, we didn't chalk the front wheels at first. Ask me how we figured that out some day!

The final challenge we had: when you turned the wheels as sharp as they go, the tires barely rubbed on a part of the suspension. Rubbed just enough that I was worried it was going to cut a tire. That would stink for many reasons let alone the cost. So back into the garage we go removing front wheels to have a look. Nate and I figured out exactly where it was rubbing. It was a rectangular block of metal that stuck out. After some research, I learned (decided maybe is a better word) it was safe to grind a little bit off the part that was rubbing. It was a block of metal that had a mount on the opposite side of it. Looked like you could mount something different on the side I was grinding but on Nate's truck, nothing is mounted to it. After a minute with the grinder - Problem solved!

So now the truck was perfect in Nate's eyes - diamond plate truck box, leveled, sweet wheel/tire package, and it sounded good too! The smooth rumble when you ran it, and the Dixie horn that makes everyone smile. I must say, it is perfect in my eyes too. I don't see many trucks that I think look better. I also don't hear trucks that sound better. His has the perfect blend of rumble but it isn't obnoxious at all.

I drove his truck home to Richmond on Saturday. We were at USC to receive his posthumous degree in a wonderful ceremony/celebration (thank you Dean Verma and the Darla Moore School of Business!!). It rode great and still has those original Nitto tires. I was missing Nate on the way home as I drove the truck so I called a few folks and chatted. I also decided to honk the Dixie Horn as I crossed over bodies of water. Nate loved water, so I figured that was a way to tell him "Hi Nate! I am thinking about you and missing you Nate!". I bet the people around me on the highway thought I had lost my mind because you cross over water quite a few times! Streams, rivers, and creeks - I honked it over most of them when I wasn't deep in a conversation.

Time for a new set of Nitto Ridge Grapplers. I'll gladly pay the extra cost of them. What I wouldn't give to have Nate here to hold up his end of the bargain we made.

I love you and miss you Nate Baker!

Surfing. Nate loved surfing. Leslie and the kids went out to California to visit friends for a few days before a family trip we had to Zion, Bryce Canyon and Lake Powell. I met them all in Las Vegas for the trip but they went out a few days early to visit friends.

Anyway, while in CA, the boys took some surf lessons with the Armstrong boys - Will and Jack. I think from that day, Nate was hooked. Every time we went to the beach, Nate asked me to rent a surfboard and eventually we bought him one for his birthday after several years.

One year, we were in Corolla area for spring break staying with several other families. Nate was surfing every day with Matt Carter, Sebastian Brodziak, Will Schwab, maybe some others too. The water was cold at that time of year so they were in wetsuits. I had brought a wetsuit too as I wanted to surf some with Nate. So off we go one morning to surf.

As we walk onto the beach, Nate informs me it’s kind of choppy. I think that’s what he called it but we discussed it - it meant that the waves weren’t coming in clean breaks with good distance between them but were more frequent and closer together. Not ideal but we decide we are going anyway.

We finish zipping up our suits and putting on gloves and off we go. Mind you, I hadn’t surfed in the ocean before. I had only done it behind our boat at the lake. However, with Nate as a guide, I was up for trying it to see what Nate loved and I love trying new sports and adventures.

Let me tell you, paddling out was not pleasant.  We started to paddle out and the waves weren’t breaking and close together so every 10 feet progress you made, a breaking wave would stop your momentum and push you back 4-5 feet. I think it was a challenge for Nate but for me? It was darn near impossible! Having not been doing this a lot like Nate, nor swimming a ton (I have been in the water a ton but how often do I swim 100 yards?), and the wetsuit was just a tiny bit small so my shoulders were restricted.  So I am fighting waves, the wetsuit, not being in swimming shape and never having done this before. A challenge is an understatement for me.

I was determined though - I wanted to try this with Nate. So I pushed hard - and made it out past the breakers. However, I was exhausted! As I sat up on my board next to Nate, even he was breathing a little hard I think.  I was gassed. I literally told him “You catch a wave Nate, I have to wait here and recover for a few minutes!”. I did that. Nate caught a wave and paddled back out to me. I was mostly recovered by that point and decided I was ready to try to catch one. So after a minute or so, I spot one I am going to try and Nate says “that is a big one dad, go for it!”.

Wave comes, I paddle to get into the sweet spot, I feel the momentum picking up, I pop up on the board (pop is probably an exaggeration), I realize the wave is too big or I am on the wrong spot, I am in/on top of the break, I fall off what feels like a small cliff and get pounded by the wave.  I also get carried back into the breakers a good ways.

That was a fun attempt.  I figure I surfed the wave maybe 10 feet. I don’t care what you say, I am counting it as surfing a wave with Nate! Ha ha.

Then I have the fun to paddle back through the breakers. My shoulders are fatigued already but I am determined. I paddle back through successfully but it took everything I had.

I decide that I am probably so tired I am not safe out here. It isn’t the best day for me to try to surf with him. As Nate paddles back out to me (after catching his 3rd or 4th wave), I tell him I am surfing in the next wave and I am done. He is all smiles and says that’s fine, “Glad you made it out here with me Dad.” Glad indeed. I took the next wave in and chose one smaller than the first. I “surfed” it maybe 20 feet. I was so tired I honestly don’t remember but it was a little further than the first one that smashed me.

Nate was glad I made it out there with him.  Glad doesn’t describe how I felt. I think I felt elated and proud and excited all at the same time.  Even though it was 99% energy expenditure and not very successful from a surfing perspective, I loved it and I am thrilled we braved the “choppy” conditions to give it a go.

I miss you and love you Nate Baker.