It’s been 2 years today since Mom passed away.  I woke up this morning thinking how amazed I was that I survived 2 years without her.  Honestly, I never thought I would.  She’s sewn in the fabric of my being.

I remember one day we were walking down Melrose and I turned to her, so full of love for her and said I wish I could put a special helmet on her head so that I could transmit my love to her from my being to her being so that she would always know how deeply I loved her.  

I’m sure she has been feeling that since she started her new journey. 

I love you Mom…😘

I'm remembering my mom today on the 1yr of her passing. I miss her terribly. She was my anchor. 

Even 3,000 miles away, I sensed her presence. It was reassuring. She was always there for me when I really needed her.  

I still sense her presence. I still need her. 

Mother to partner 

When the episode at Berkeley ended, I moved back to LA and we became roommates.

I had no job, didn’t know what I was going to do next and no income except unemployment.

Mom gave me the head space to de stress and figure it out. She made my life so much easier. I could sleep again, do yoga, lay by the pool and just “ be”. This was one of the highlight times of my life. No pressure.

She made one of my dreams of home ownership possible. We not only bought one condo but two!

Galveston and Tara Hill.

Tara Hill is the home I always dreamed of to this day and she made this possible.

When she moved to Galveston, I felt my world end. What would I do without her? Who would I be now?

Of course it all worked out & we both thrived. 

Mother to cheerleader

 The most exciting and scariest time in my career path was when I started my own business (System Training Services).

I would not have had the courage to start this endeavor if Mom hadn’t been by my side. Every doubt that surfaced, she would turn it into “You can do it!”

I would be shaking with fear when I had to travel to do my job and she would take my hand and get me on the plane. I would come back from a project, totally exhilarated and she would listen with a smile to all my experiences at the hotel.

I am so full of gratitude when I think of this time in my life.

When I moved to Berkeley into a nightmare scenario, there she was every other weekend supporting me. I was so terrified everyday I went to work & she wrote out parts of a prayer and taped them all over my bungalow. I still read this prayer to this day when I get scared.

I survived this experience because of her faith in me. She did not participate in the fear and we actually had lots of fun discovering beautiful Berkeley together.

Oh Mom, if you only knew my love for you…. So deep.

You once said that all you wanted to be when you were young was to be a Mom and you are such a gift to your daughter, Chris. 

From Mother to Friend

 I always saw my Mom as a mother until we moved to California together. Her marriage to Bill had ended and she was going through a trauma. I was on a new adventure and eagerly wanting new experiences.

My mother has always gravitated to the road less traveled and it wasn’t long before we moved into a new realm. We took classes and met so many amazing people who were exploring areas most people don’t even know about.

It was an eye opening time for me even though I didn’t understand what I was being exposed to.

The Church of Religious Science introduced me to the metaphysical.

We both embraced this New Thought and it became our spiritual base. We were introduced to so many spiritual teachers that later became famous. Terry Cole Whittaker, Marianne Williamson, Wayne Dyer, Michael Beckwith, Louise Hay, Sondra Ray. The list is endless.

If it wasn’t for Mom’s undying curiosity, I would not be the person that I am today.

We were inseparable. We did everything that had to do with exploration together. She was my absolute best friend.

We could talk for hours. We could shop till we dropped, we could walk for miles never missing a step. We did yoga together, laid out in the sun till we were baked.

It was the most rewarding and uplifting time in my life.

I felt loved and accepted by the most important person in my world. 

"And there comes a day when you hear yourself talking like her, cooking like her, scolding like her, singing like her, teaching like her, dancing like her, writing like her, crying like her.

And there comes a day when those giant shoes that you tried on so much fit, and you can walk in their footprint.

And with each step you understand everything you ever criticized. And you understand the limits, the challenges, the anger, the worries, the fears.

And you are grateful that she was there, accompanying you closely, caring, watching.

And you appreciate their efforts, their sacrifices, their time. There comes a day when you look in the mirror and see it. Because for a few months we were inside her but she will always be inside us."

To the living, I am gone,

To the sorrowful, I will never return,

To the angry, I was cheated,

But to the happy, I am at peace,

And to the faithful, I have never left.

I cannot speak, but I can listen.

I cannot be seen, but I can be heard.

So as you stand upon a shore gazing at a beautiful sea,

As you look upon a flower and admire its simplicity,

Remember me.

Remember me in your heart:

Your thoughts, and your memories,

Of the times we loved,

The times we cried,

The times we fought,

The times we laughed.

For if you always think of me,

I will never have gone ..

Margaret Mead ✨

These lyrics from the song My Heart Lives on are dedicated to my Mom. I miss her so 

My Heart Will Go On

Song by Celine 

Every night in my dreams

I see you, I feel you

That is how I know you go on

Far across the distance

And spaces between us

You have come to show you go on

Near, far, wherever you are

I believe that the heart does go on

Once more, you open the door

And you're here in my heart

And my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time

And last for a lifetime

And never let go 'til we're gone

Love was when I loved you

One true time I'd hold to

In my life, we'll always go on

Near, far, wherever you are

I believe that the heart does go on (why does the heart go on?)

Once more, you open the door

And you're here in my heart

And my heart will go on and on

You're here, there's nothing I fear

And I know that my heart will go on

We'll stay forever this way

You are safe in my heart and

My heart will go on and on

My Aunt Nancy , my God mother , I loved her very much. I can’t count all the wonderful memories I have of her and my two beautiful cousins.  I remember we’d go visit them in OK, and cry all the way home when we had to leave and go back to Denver .

We reconnected and all her love came flooding back to me.  You are loved and will be welcomed to heaven and reunited with all your loved ones.  You are not gone just removed from  earth but live forever in our hearts and souls. Never to be forgotten .