Shane's obituary
Michael "Shane" Britton, widely known as Shane, passed away on April 27, 2026, at Baptist Health, Lexington, following an extended illness.. He was a veteran of the US Army. Born on June 8, 1974, in McMinnville, TN, Shane was preceded in death by his parents Johnny Michael Britton and Phyllis Lynne Britton (nee Seals), of McMinnville, TN, and is survived by his son, Brian Curtis Jones, of Lexington, KY and granddaughter, Ava Jones.
IN MEMORIAM
"We are gathered here today to honor the memory of Shane; Or rather, we are gathered here because we are legally obligated to, or because we want to ensure he’s actually in the casket. Shane despised people. All of you, really. To be honest, I think he only kept me around to ensure his mail didn’t pile up. He was a pioneer in the field of keeping people at arm’s length, typically by telling them exactly what he thought of their clothes, their life choices, and their breathing techniques.
They say you shouldn't speak ill of the dead, but knowing Shane, he would prefer we speak exclusively ill of each other. He was the only person I know who viewed a crowded room as a personal violation.
His social life was a triumph of extreme solitude. Friends? He viewed them as high-maintenance parasites. He once told me his favorite aspect of living alone was not having to pretend to be a functioning member of society.
But I suppose we should acknowledge his achievements. He was truly consistent in his misery. He never let a happy moment pass without pointing out the looming inevitability of disappointment. And he was always right.
So, as we say goodbye, let us remember Shane the way he wanted: by leaving as quickly as possible. Don't linger, he'd hate the traffic in the parking lot. Shane we hope there's a special place in the afterlife for you. Probably one with zero occupancy. May God Light Your Wanderings.
Rest in peace, you cantankerous soul."