Memories of Michael Lanyard Criddell

In memory of

Michael Lanyard Criddell

Houston, TX, USA

December 17, 1941 - November 10, 2020

Dec 17, 1941 - Nov 10, 2020

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Jeannette Hill

Angela Varghese

I met Mr. Criddell because of his wonderful daughter Mo, who was my dear friend and roommate in college. He embraced me like his own daughter every time he saw me. The love he had for Mama Criddell and his kids are a beautiful testimony of God’s love. You will be truly missed and it was a blessing to know you. I know you are dancing with our Savior in heaven.

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Joseph Oche

2020, Houston, TX, USA

A Reflection on the Life of Sir Michael Lanyard Criddell of Blessed Memory
By
Joseph Oche

I was playing catch with my kids in our front yard. I always position myself at the street end, backing it for the safety of my kids. Suddenly, Oche said, "dad" nudging me to look back at an approaching man. As I did, he was beaming with a charming smile and an outstretched arm for a handshake.

Before he reached me, he began to introduce himself:

"Hello! I'm Michael. Michael Criddell. I'm your neighbor. I live two houses across the street from you (pointing to his house). Welcome to our neighborhood. Here's my number, call me if you need anything. You have a beautiful family."

With that introduction and a firm, warm handshake, I met "Sir" (as I would call for him for the rest of his life). He was unmistakably genuine.

As I started to know him better, day after day over the years, he exuded love, and I latched on to him. He became my accessible role model of true masculinity and fatherhood.

Reflecting on Sir's life, I could relate him to Robert Lewis' definition of manhood in his book: Raising a Modern-Day Knight. He defined manhood as God's manhood, which entails:
Obeying God's word
Loving God's woman
Excelling at God's work
Bettering God's world.

He knew God, was known by God and bore the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Like I said, his very being was about sacrificial love. He always looked out for the good of others and undermined it with his Christian belief. That was my first-hand experience of him in several ways.

His love for Ma'am was palpable from a distance. He spoke of and held her in very high esteem. He told me about his undying love for Ma'am. He shared with me about his humble beginnings with Ma'am and how he told her to trust him. He let me into his world of wooing Ma'am. He spoke with convincing confidence, yet he was humble. His fluency, word choice, poise, manual dexterity, smiles, good sense of dressing, and overall consistency made him priceless. No wonder, Ma'am reciprocated with equal love until the end. Ill health couldn't wane his love for Ma'am, a love he professed even on his death bed: "I love you, Ti," he said severally every time I visited during his final days. He backed up his spoken love with selfless service to Ma'am, such as the daily coffee shop trips, although not a coffee drinker himself. That kind of love is infectious, and Sir set the bar high for his biological sons, adopted sons (like me), and all his mentees. He did a great job of loving God's daughter, and I can only imagine how proud God is of him.

Sir enjoyed being a father and, he was a wonderful one. He spoke of his children with a deep sense of pride and fulfillment. I recall, one evening, he and I were chatting in my front yard when Oche, my first child, drew my attention and, I acknowledged him with my pet name for him, "My Number One!" Sir smiled and asked why I called him so. Then I told him the story of how I coined the pet names for my three kids: "My Number One, "My Only One," and "My Special One." He smiled further, gave me a fist bump, and said, "you're the man! Every child is unique and as parents, we speak to their uniqueness. So, I ain't mad at cha!" Then he shared with me his pet names for his children, “My First Daughter’, “My Favorite Son” (the only one), and “My Favorite Daughter.” His grandchildren were the apple of his eyes. He fondly told me about his then five-year-old granddaughter, Tylin, and her gift of languages

He was indeed God's man in service to God and his community. He opened to me his career and community service profile. His varied career included a stint in architecture, a field we both loved. I recall how he brought his early award-winning design to my house and, we laid them down on the floor of my living room. Then we went over the aesthetics and functionality aspects. That was a precious, priceless memory.

As a veteran, he shared with me his memories of his service in the United States Marine Corps - the highs and lows (near-death experience). He told me how those experiences made him know how much he was loved by God, and that God had a bigger plan for him. It was from him, I heard “Semper Fi,” the motto of the U.S. Marine Corps, meaning “always loyal.” "My life is a testimony, I've been blessed," he said with his charming smile. I thanked him for his service to our country!

Then he took me into his world of management consulting. Again, there we shared our mutual love for service provision, service improvement, business process management, problem-solving, and leadership. Whenever I shared my workday or a community event that I was involved in, he had a way of tying it to a stage of the consulting cycle. Sir, didn't separate his professional life from his spiritual life. He saw God as "one indivisible God! Alongside, his career life, he poured himself into his spiritual life and as such, was actively involved in his church. He told me about running several workshops for his church in leadership, life skills, and mentorship. He was a life coach to so many, and this earned him the name "Pops" by the so many who adopted him as a father figure. He once told me, "I love what I do, and I will not retire until God calls me home." He said that with so much exuberance, to which, I replied that I am inspired to live a similar style. And he was God's General until the end.

I remember him with so much nostalgia! He loved the music of Earth, Wind & Fire. It played all the time we met for a chat in his front yard or while working together on a simple DIY project on his driveway. I understand he listened to them on his last night.

Oh, how he left me edified every time we met. He had his combo of peculiar greetings. First, his unmistakable smile. Second, "Boomshackalacka!" Third, a fist bump! Fourth, a hug! He remained consistent with his greetings, even on his death bed!

Some of his other generous affirmations included:
"You're a good man!"
"Hey, I ain't mad at cha!"
"You're the man!"
"Bam!" - (Good finishing)

Whenever he came over to mine for a chat, and I was taking an afternoon nap, he never lets Sweetheart wake me up, but when we meet later, he greets me with a "Hey! Sleepy-head!" Then we caught up with whatever we needed to gist about. We simply had mutual love, respect, and places in our hearts for each other. We just loved to talk with each other. Oh, how I miss Sir!

So came Tuesday, 11/10/20, and I woke up later than Sweetheart. She told me, "I got a text from Mrs. Criddell..." My eyes popped, and Sweetheart continued, "he passed early this morning." She told me how she looked out of our window into the darkness of that winter morning and saw the flashing lights of the ambulance parked in front of their home. She said further that when John, our son came down from his room in readiness for school and found her looking into the darkness, she broke the sad news. His response was, "wow, today's game means so much to me now. I'm going to play hard to honor him." And he did, for a man worthy of honor and respect. My family and I are heartbroken!

For me, this is one of those deaths that I could not cope with effectively. After Sweetheart and I rushed over to see Ma'am the same morning, I spiraled into a deep state of shock and denial. Then I withdrew but exchanged text with Ma'am. Every time I drove out and back home (early mornings, daytime, and late nights), I looked at his driveway in anticipation: of what? I can't say. I don't know. I was just confused. Then on Monday, November 16, 2020, I summoned the courage to ask Ma'am about the status of memorial service preparation. Then she sent me the link, but I avoided clicking on it, and somehow, I procrastinated in denial.

However, on Wednesday, November 18, as I drove to work between 5 and 6 am, the full weight of my grief descended on me. My morning drive-along devotion and meditation failed to proceed as usual. I began to reflect on the chronicle of my encounters with Sir as I mentioned above. I felt a deep sense of loss for the first time since his passing. Then I recalled one of my father's wisdom nuggets: "When I die, weep because of the pain of losing your father. However, beyond that, be thankful to God and find a reason to celebrate me." I was overwhelmed by a sudden deep feeling of finality. Then I wept bitterly as I continued to recall my encounters with him.

For the rest of my hour-long commute to work, that was all I did, and I got a bit of relief when I arrived at work. I thought of sending Ma'am a text to ask if she was awake yet, so I can tell her my sensation but decided against it because I didn't want to wake her up if she wasn't yet or to alarm her if she was. I promised myself to call her later instead.

Later in the evening, I called Ma'am. She asked how I was, and I said, "not good, today. I am having difficulty coping today and wanted to talk with you." I told her of my reservation to text her early in the morning. She said, "I'm so sorry about that. A lot of people felt the same way today." She sounded more peaceful. Then she went on and told me how the memorial service and burial went very well. I listened without interruption. As if she noticed how deep my silence was, she asked, "Were you able to watch it online?" "No," I answered in monosyllable. "The link is available on the church website, you can still watch it."

I took a deep breath and explained my deep silence while she was talking. I told her of my experience this morning, unaware of the memorial service and burial was today. Then I explained my ineffective coping and apologized for it. She listened gently. Then I said, somehow, this is the first time I don't regret procrastinating altogether because it allowed me to maintain how I would like to remember Sir. I told her that I had no clue that it was the day of his final journey, which explains the finality that I felt in my spirit earlier. She was also surprised and thought that I was only reacting to the memorial service and burial, which just took place. I told her that somehow I felt happy about my experience because it showed that the relationship I had with Sir was real. His burial day, unknown to me with sudden grief, proves it. I smiled after all that our lives paths crossed each other.

The smile that I saw on his face during my last visit to him was rich in fulfillment. His expression seemed to say:

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day..." - 2 Timothy 4:7-8

And I imagined God saying, "Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!' - Matthew 25: 21.

And "Sir," "Pops" slept on peaceful into the Lord's bosom.

Sir Michael Lanyard Criddell, a knight and hero of authentic masculinity, I celebrate you immensely! Your impact will be long lasting, and you will be greatly missed. May God rest your soul in peace, my mentor and friend!

Joseph Oche

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Shelia Miller

Mardell Criddell

Comments:

Shelia Miller

Absolutely beautiful!! May God bless and keep you. Absolutely beautiful!! May God bless and keep you. Absolutely beautiful!! May God bless and keep you.

Clarence McEwen

What a man Mattie B. God gave you the very best for this journey. You and your family are in my prayers. ... Read more What a man Mattie B. God gave you the very best for this journey. You and your family are in my prayers. I pray God’s comfort.... Read more What a man Mattie B. God gave you the very best for... Read more

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Norine Williams

Mattie my sincere condolences go to you and your family
I have the fondest memories of you and Michael. My model couple of black love far before it time. Love You Cuz Norine

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