My day with daddy began at the Chicago Historical Society. We loved going to history museums. We read every single item in the exhibit and were never anxious to get going. We made it to John Barleycorn for a couple of beers. He wore his brown suede jacket. He spoke of his Hotpoint days and getting started in the ad business but how he'd always wanted to be an actor. I remember thinking. "take this in Jill. When daddy is gone it will comfort you. Be present." And I was. So present. Then pizza at the restaurant across from the Steppenwolf Theatre. Lots of talking followed by a wonderful production of The Cherry Orchard and home. One of the greatest days I ever had. After he died I inherited his jacket. I was utterly bereft and the jacket, uncleaned and smelling of him - a mixture of cigar, and aftershave and well, daddy - consoled me. I went to synagogue every Friday for a year to say Kaddish for him. That jacket was placed on the seat next to me with the sleeves resting on the arms of the chair. I was so worried that he would be scared wherever he was and I prayed for comfort for him. I felt he was afraid and lost. Then at the end of the 11th month at the end of the service, I felt him leave. I felt him enter the cosmos and knew he was no longer afraid. I just knew it.
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