Matthew Keith Flanagan was born in Martinsburg, West Virginia on September 14, 2000. The first 7  years of his life were filled with neglect, abandonment and homelessness. Before Matthew came to us he spent time with an amazing foster family in West Virginia that loved, supported him and called him one of their own. Soon his  biological father was found and Matthew was with him for an uncomfortable short time before joining our family. 

Matthew’s  father, Pat Flanagan, now deceased, mother, Susan Flanagan and our son Michael Flanagan welcomed him into our home as a foster child. We met him at the receiving home where he sat in the corner of his room with no communication, no eye contact, desiring nothing more than to be invisible. Absolutely heartbreaking! Pat and I attempted to connect with him but to no avail. Michael, being only a year older wanted to give it a go and Matthew responded. Pat looked at me and said, "We can't leave him here." Soon after, Matthew came home and a year and half later on February 9, 2009, through adoption, he officially became our son and brother. He gained grandparents, Mimi, Colleen Bryse, and Paw Paw, C.L. Bryse, and an Uncle, Leon Bryse. They showered him with acceptance, love and attention. Even though they were miles away, a loving relationship was born and grew strong through visits, mail, and phone calls. Matthew was also welcomed by a multitude of family in Texas, New York, New Jersey, his sister Valerie Rupp, her husband John and five children, Logan, Paige, Payton, Blake and Mason also in California, his brother Marty Flanagan, his wife Kelly and their four children, Ryan, Sean, Morgan and Sydney. 

Matthews adjustment to family life was difficult as there were many obstacles to over come. To start with Matthew had a trouble with communication and being comfortable in his own skin. He would get angry when overstimulated. Despite encouragement he felt more comfortable being alone. Michael, was so patient and worked hard on helping Matthew feel welcome. It was heartbreaking to watch a precious child not have the capacity to be the child he deserved to be. He did not like to be indoors because of the time he was homeless. He disliked being clean and having structure. We enrolled  Matthew into Ophir Elementary where he was lovingly welcomed. The school environment and socializing was foreign to him. He struggled both academically and socially. His teachers loved him and supported with the helps he needed and he required a lot, which was very overwhelming for him.  He pushed through his new life and started to adapt. Aside from his frustrations Matthew was kind and tender-hearted. The early negative exposure of his past would remain with him. He would go through the garbage during lunch and he would squirrel away his findings. He would take things from other students and have difficulty focusing. We provided what he needed and a lot of what he wanted but the trauma haunted him and reversing it seemed impossible most days. We were dedicated to his healing. Our son needed support so our family joined him in therapy where slow progress was made. We were so grateful to see a little growth. Matthew was becoming his own person and learned how to comfortably smile. laugh and have conversation. He evolved so much in time and became joyful.  The following year our family grew again through adoption and now Michael and Matthew became big brothers to Lily, Timo and Gabe. Matthew welcomed them and grew to care for them and had genuine affection for them. He had someone to relate to. Matthew was considerate, compassionate, and joyful. He became a jokester. One time when he had a cast he managed to slide his arm out and said he didn't it anymore because "it didn't fit". He started to create passions of his own like legos and puzzles.  Spent time fishing and swimming. He enjoyed cooking and eating.   Matthew loved our camping trips, field trips, vacations and spending time with family and friends. 

 We live on a farm and he really developed a love for the animals. We loved watching his attachment to animals and were so encouraged to see this side of him. He became a 4H member and raised rabbits. He named his first rabbit Bus. He chose Bus because he took a bus on a field trip. He participated in club meetings, showmanship and he was proud and confident. He influenced his younger siblings to think outside the box when it came to animal names and before we knew it we had a fun array of names including Viking and Turtle. It was so rewarding to watch him bloom and enjoy his life with siblings. Matthew gave the softest most meaningful hugs with a little pat on the back. Watching him play together with his siblings  was becoming natural. They would race their bikes, play baseball, create games, built forts and go on adventures around the property. He even let his sister put make up on him and paint his nails "for practice"'.  He was kind and became thoughtful of others and made a few friends and even attended birthday parties.  He was soft spoken and a tender son who touched everyone he met. He truly was a blessing to us. He taught us to search our souls, to be understanding, accepting and to look beyond the surface.   

He was involved in the church youth group and Awana. This is were he fell in love with Jesus. Matthew would write in his bible, mark his favorite verses and take his bible with him-even when it wasn't a church day.  He even learned how to work the soundboard during service. One day he announced he wanted to be a preacher and live in Alabama. "Why Alabama?" we asked and he said he learned about Alabama in school. He was a determined child, his reality was unique and he continued to struggle with safety. He lacked discernment and pushed against boundaries. Thus leading to an Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Reactive Attachment Disorder and Attention Deficient Hyperactivity Disorder.  Which explained his outburst of rage, confusion and anxiety, that caused him to retreat. We persevered  because we saw the potential in him. We knew God created him for a purpose and we were going to help him find it.

In time he would share his memories. Through the pain he slowly started to move towards healing. The road was long but we were all on it together, striving for the peace we knew he deserved. Our support system with Placer County Children System of Care was amazing and with their guidance our progress slowly grew.  Matthew was a busy boy and loved to use his hands and tinker with things, taking them apart and maybe getting them back together. He was always gathering items for a project he was working on. He was always willing to help others and started helping our friends on their ranches, doing work of all kinds. "He is a hard worker" they'd say. Matthew went from a boy that never wanted to engage to a boy that always had something to share. A few years later our family welcomed Jason and Drake, a sibling set that were previous foster children. We knew our family was complete. Matthew was a fun son and brother that made special memories with his family. He loved riding bikes, collecting treasures and exploring.  He started started Taekwondo, which really improved his coordination. His Sensei suffered from PTSD as well and related to Matthew.  Another fun memory of Matthew was he seemed to win just about every raffle or game prize. One thing we loved about Matthew was his contagious laugh. Wild how someone with so much brokenness could see life with a joyful heart. We had our trials but they are not the first thing we remember about him. We remember a son that functioned at his very best, a son that was tender, kind hearted, thoughtful, helpful, loving and hard working. Matthew was a brother that was proud and encouraging. One who shared, laughed and loved. 

As Matthew moved into middle school his behaviors began to change. He would get off the bus at random locations saying he had permission. We had several missing child calls to the local police department to search for him. He was always found just "doing what I wanted to do." He was fearless. This behavior only grew the older he got and this began a painful journey. He attended Lincoln High School where he was supported by an amazing staff that circled around him with support. He loved wood shop and ceramics. He was a thoughtful gift giver. His later years in high school he would leave the house in the middle of the night or not come home from school.  At failed attempts to keep him home he would only stay for only short periods of time. He did manage to make it to school. and graduate from Lincoln High School.  He was home, where we needed him, that year for about 9 months. Fortunately we were all together when we received the news of Pat's passing.  Matthew was broken and talked about how sad he was that he missed so much time with his dad.  His emotions were real and he was connected. We were so thankful to grieve together. I believe the loss of his dad added to his pain and he left again shortly after the loss.

Despite his struggles brought on by early childhood trauma, which made him a very complex person, he was an overcomer. He was determined to make his life what he wanted. He was fearless and resourceful. While out of the house he was a volunteer at the local thrift store, and food pantry, The Salt Mine. During his time away from home he met many local people that adored and cared for him.  People knew him but not knowing the trauma causing the battles within. So many people in our community reached out to him on his homeless journey. He was covered in an outpouring of love, support, concern and prayers.  Matthew was part of a  community that spend time at the Gathering Inn, an organization that offered shelter and food. With the help of someone that befriended he started working at Mountain Mike's Pizza. Then tried a few different job opportunities that did not work out for him. A few months and  in May of 2022 he accepted a job with Midway of Fun as a ride mechanic, operator and game operator. He had the opportunity to travel all through California and see the beauty of our state. I have to admit I was a reluctant but he felt it was the chance of a lifetime. He enjoyed traveling and seeing new places which worked well with his need to be in constant motion. Matthew called me regularly and took great pride in sharing his experiences and would send pictures of his latest adventures. In April of 2023 Matthew  joined the traveling crew that would go out of state. He visited our surrounding states and was looking forward to seeing Wyoming. “I think I’m going to settle down there mom.”  He dreamed of having a farm of his own. The carnival crew called him the California Cowboy. He took his roots with him wherever he went always wearing his favorite Stetson cowboy hat and boots. His co-worker, Rita, whom took him under her wing, shared beautiful stories of how Matthew would give money to kids at the carnival, if they didn't have any, just so they could play a game and how he would be so child like splashing water at willing kids. He would buy food and cook for his co-workers. He was always available to make a difficult repair and help out with something new. Whether it be to climb a tall ride to fix or work in the rain.  He could be selfless and loved being needed. Matthew never made it to Wyoming but instead he took a detour to heaven. His adventurous side lead to his death, a fatal fall from twenty feet.  Our hearts are greater than broken and our lives will forever have a hole. We are trusting God in His plan for Matthew and trusting Him in our pain. Matthew has left an imprint on our souls and we are so grateful that God choose us to be his forever family. We all prayed for Matthew to be content with his life and even though it wasn't what our hearts desired for him Matthew, well, was Matthew. He celebrated life in his way.  He accepted his challenges head on and gave life his all.  He was beautiful person. He touched lives and he loved the Lord and that was enough. Matthew, I’m pretty sure that heaven is more glorious than Wyoming. Knowing you are healed and home in the presence of our Savior brings us some healing. We always wanted you home but this way wasn't what we dreamed of.  We love you more than words or actions could ever express. We are grateful for being a part of your life and blessed by all your life taught us. 

The day we welcomed him into our family was the day I promised to be his advocate, knowing his life would be littered with pain, misunderstandings and hardships, I vowed to be his voice when he couldn't have one. Being his mom was full of trials and victories and I would do it all over again.

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