Macy, MJ, Mary Jean.. Mama. An extraordinary woman known by many names yet always a force to be reckoned with. When a cancer diagnosis darkened her doorway years ago, a Doctor told her that she had maybe three years to live and that basically she should just accept this fate and go home and live out her time. He was suggesting she not even bother fighting. Furious at this, she said to Hannah and I- "Absolutely not, they don't know who they're dealing with!" Followed by many other colorful threats and expletive ridden shouts. After all, who did this guy think he was? And does this tumor have any idea who it's dealing with?! Imagine hearing the news in front of your children there is nothing they can do for you and you should just go home and die. They had no idea, but for anyone fortunate enough to know Mary Jean, we all knew. She is the force of all forces and she will do the reckoning around here, thank you very much.

The fight that she would put up over the next ten years was remarkable. Even in the end, when faced with the kind of news that you can't shout away.. she accepted her fate, but only on her terms. She looked around the hospital room and proclaimed, "Well.. I'm still going to fight until my very last breath!" She told us she wanted to live to see 2024. We smiled when she said this because although we were heartbroken with the brevity of her life, we knew she would live up to this final promise. On December 23rd, 2023 we took her home and cherished our remaining weeks together. She held on for the dear friends who came by to see her, the final phone calls with family and loved ones, she held on to write goodbye letters and to give parting words of comfort. She held on to spend one more Christmas with us, one more New Years Eve. She held on for her girls.

And just as she'd promised, on her own terms.. Mary Jean finally sailed out from the turbulent seas of life and headed into calmer waters. On January 1st, 2024, she passed away at the young age of 64. She said she wanted to live to see one more year and she did just that.

Although much can be said for the many brave battles she waged against illness throughout her life, Mary Jean's story was much bigger than cancer or MS or any other difficulty she faced. Her life should not be defined by her struggles. She lived a beautiful and joyful life and the cancer was just another chapter in her story. She will be remembered for so much more- her larger than life personality, always the life of the party and ready for a good time. Her infectious laughter that could fill a room, LOUD and raucous! Her optimistic spirit, happy and fun loving. Her beautiful smile and the bright light she carried in every room she entered. She will be remembered for her giving nature, so selfless and generous.. she had a remarkable ability to help others even when she was struggling. She was a fabulous cook and known for her famous pound cakes. She was fashionable and stylish in every sense of the word, she loved getting dressed up, even when she didn’t feel good. She kept her home cozy, surrounded by well-loved keepsakes. She was crafty, always working on something handmade or refinishing furniture. She was a talented pianist. She was an excellent writer, deep and thoughtful. She was steadfast in her faith and a devoted Christian. Of course, we will never forget that fiery side of her either! She had a feisty way about her and a quick wit.. always ready to take on whatever life had to throw at her.. and she thew it right back! She was tough and learned to roll with the punches.. but always fought back when she needed to.

Mary Jean was a loyal friend, a loving daughter, a devoted sibling and an angel to so many. Her most treasured role in life was being our Mother.. and what an extraordinary one she was. She raised her girls to be tough, independent, strong and brave. She also taught us that kindness and grace are equally important and we should always treat others with compassion. She raised us to be polite and thankful for what we were given. Always be considerate of another person's situation and be willing to help those in need.. and save the judgement because you never know what someone is going through. Be a good friend. Go on adventures and take risks. Follow your dreams because life is too short. Don't worry about what others think of you. Don’t let anyone push you around and don’t let life get the best of you. Know your worth and always strive for better. Don’t take life too seriously.

She loved her mama's coconut cream pie. She loved ice cream, especially pistachio flavors. She loved coffee and baking treats and cooking for loved ones. She loved the beach- Carolina Beach in Wilmington, NC will always have her heart. She adored music and claimed it was better than any therapy she ever had. She loved Ireland and said her passion came from her Irish roots. She loved movies, art, reading, she especially loved British TV. She loved daffodils and magnolias. She loved gardening, she loved her granddoggies, she loved her church. She loved her friends and she adored her family.

At her best, she was wild, full of life, hilarious. She was small but mighty. She knew Faith and fight. This is how we will remember Mary Jean, for the profound impact she had on our world and for the legacy she leaves behind. For the beauty she radiated inside and out. For the lives she touched. To know her was to love her. We will carry her love within us for the rest of our lives and honor her light forever. I'd like to end this passage with a quote found scribbled in one of her many journals. This message shows acceptance of reality while also holding on to hope for better days. This is how she lived her life and her legacy of strength and grace will serve as an inspiration to all of us, forever.

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars."

-Og Mandino

Shine on Mama!  

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