Memories of Margaret "Gogi" Joan Hodder | Ever Loved

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In memory of

Margaret "Gogi" Joan Hodder

Berkeley, CA, USA

April 25, 1968 - January 16, 2021

Apr 25, 1968 - Jan 16, 2021

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Jennifer Adcock

I can’t believe it’s been 3 years since you left us. We miss you and know somewhere out there you are organizing folks and making things better. 💪💪Thank you for all the light you brought to us. I am so privileged to have known you and call you friend. ❤️❤️

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Darby Hoover

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Joyce Dorado

We celebrate Gogi today, on the day of her birth. Our hearts are with Gogi's family on this very special day, especially with her wonderful children Noah and Nico. We surround you with our love. Know that we are with you in spirit as you move through this journey of grief and healing.

To express my deep and abiding love for dear Gogi, and in celebration of her birthday, I'd like to share with this community an excerpt from the letter that I sent to Gogi this past October while she was still with us:

Dearest Gogi,

While we still have you with us, I want to express to you how much I love you and how grateful I am to have you in my life.

I've said much of this before but it bears repeating: it is such a gift to all of us who love you that you have been so present, loving, and transparent with us through this rollercoaster process and as you move closer and closer to your transition from this life. I am aware that this takes enormous effort on your part, and I want you to know how deeply we appreciate each and every moment that we have with you, whether it be in person, through your writing, or through Zoom.

You are such an amazing and beautiful human being. You have given so much of yourself not only to your family and friends, but to countless other people through the Mosaic Project and your general goodness in the world at large. As long as I have known you, you have always been a tremendous doer, a greathearted giver, and a person who makes fun and connection and transformation happen for those around you.

Your brilliance at seeing and eliciting the goodness in people, and at solving seemingly insurmountable puzzles (both games and real-world dilemmas) is legendary, and inspires us to try to do the same.

Your children are bearing witness to how you have lived your life and to how you are moving through this process with such grace and integrity. And I am certain that your deep and abiding love for them will dwell in their hearts and buoy them up for the rest of their lives.

You are a shero who has never been one to take the easy path nor rest on your laurels, and instead you have dedicated so much of your life to making the world more peaceful, just, and loving through your work and your interactions with others. The world is indeed a better place because of you, and your bright lovelight will continue to shine on and on, long after you have left this earth.

Gogi, I will miss you so much. Our grief over losing you is more than words can tell. But please know that you will live on in everyone you have touched. I will carry your magnificent soul in my heart forever, and I will channel your fierce and shining spirit in all of my future endeavors to change the world.

I love you so very, very much, my dear friend,
Joyce

"To all the places we have been,
To those whose love has carried us like the birds who rise on wings
through the clouds and over

For you I sing the light that brings the voices of the children
For you I sing the colors bright, dancing on the rainbow
For you I sing
For you I sing
For you I sing the rainbow"
💖🌈🌟

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Rebeckah Lord

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Pat Alfieri

Margaret and I worked together for close to 15 years. She had the best “can do” attitude of anyone I know. Always making herself available for collaboration, Margaret had a unique ability to grasp complex problems and break them down so that workable solutions could be found. She always had an open door policy, which many of us appreciated and used often. She was admired and respected for her commitment to and passion for social issues. Margaret had unlimited energy, a beautiful smile and a wonderful laugh! The world is truly a better place because of her.

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Abby Rezneck

I got to know Gogi as a fellow parent at Malcolm X, where Nico and my son became classmates and friends. It was so special to find a kindred spirit in those often-frazzled moments on the yard or at a playdate, and I also had the wonderful experience of joining Gogi to chaperone a group of 5th-grade buddies for Nico’s birthday weekend at the cabin. As I now better understand, the trip was quintessential Gogi: it was carefully planned – with time for snow play at the lake, ice skating at Long Barn, Catan and “scare tag” at the cabin, and delicious meals at just the right intervals – yet somehow it all felt magically unscheduled and super fun. In this and in all the ways, I believe that Gogi showed us how to live both joyfully and intentionally, with presence of mind and wholeness of heart at the same time.

Gogi, my friend, I am full of gratitude for you. Your courage, connection, and peace will live on in me, as in so many others.

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Robyn Prud'homme-Bauer

Every morning I wake to the beautiful sunrises in Clarkdale AZ and I think of Gogi. Her smile, warmth, and caring reminds me of the sun rising on the horizon for the start of a wonderful day. She was a loving member of our family (Prud'homme's) . Her smile and love is with us forever.

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Kris Wedding Crowell

I dreamed of Gogi the other night. We were in a garden, not at Woosley as we were on a gentle slope with no building nearby. We weren't exactly working in the garden, nor were we simply sitting or walking through it. I believe we were carrying things somewhere. (I'm sure it was something helpful, as all her actions in life were.)

Gogi appeared so healthy, almost glowing. Not literally, but the way someone who is supremely happy will glow. It was as easy to be with Gogi in the dream as it was to be with her in life. Small conversation -- no, short conversations; rarely small. The only part of the conversation I remember, alas, is that moment on the balance between dream-state and wakefulness when I suddenly became so grateful to have this time with her. I turned to her, saying that this was such a gift that I didn't think I was going to get; another chance to be with her.

With that said, my consciousness pulled me out of the dream and back into the reality that Gogi is on the other side of her river. Sad that my body can't walk with Gogi through a garden again. Wishing we all had had more time with her. And blessed to have crossed paths and walked together however many times we actually did.

Hugs and love and care to Nico, Noah, the rest of her family, her treasured friends and everyone who cared for Gogi.
-Kris Wedding Crowell
(I met Gogi in the nursery at FUCO. I was there helping my oldest, Haley, then 1ish, adapt. Gogi was there nursing Niko. Children's events and retreats are the times we saw each other most. The last time we were together was when Gogi drove Haley and I to a nearby homeless camp where the Club UU set up tables and gave away soup and freshly made grill cheese sandwiches. Gogi was so inspired and so ready to help the youth continue and deepen their service. Wish Covid and Cancer hadn't conspired to thwart those plans. But Gogi, please be at peace. You are loved and you have done enough.)

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Kris Starr-Witort

Red for Ed at the Capital!

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Comments:

Kris Starr-Witort

What an incredible experience and celebration of Gogi’s life yesterday. She touched so many and thanks to... Read more What an incredible experience and celebration of Gogi’s life yesterday. She touched so many and thanks to our sons’ friendship,... Read more What an incredible experience and celebration of Gogi’s... Read more

Jennifer Adcock

Malcolm X

Publishing Party

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Jennifer Adcock

When I had Nico as a 2nd grader, I had no idea I would gain such a true and amazing friend. Gogi taught... Read more When I had Nico as a 2nd grader, I had no idea I would gain such a true and amazing friend. Gogi taught me so much about being... Read more When I had Nico as a 2nd grader, I had no idea I would... Read more

Sarah Moldenhauer-Salazar

I first met Gogi in 2007 at Woolsey. I got to know Gogi more deeply over the years, first through facilitating a group process for the Woolsey compound and then later, for a time, serving as her spiritual director. Gogi had a beautiful accepting presence. It was said during her memorial that Gogi spent most of her life not knowing, deep in her core, that she was loved (despite much evidence to the contrary). Perhaps this is one of the reasons why she was so quick to provide love and acceptance to others. We often try to create in the world that for which we so long to experience ourselves—in Gogi’s case, safety and empowerment for women, justice, connection, peace, love. Gogi offered to those around her the love and acceptance she longed for, for which I am personally and profoundly grateful. She worked to create a more loving and accepting world through her work with Mosaic Project. And, thank all that is holy, she experienced in the end that love is all. And that Love, I have faith, is holding her still.
Safe passage, dear Gogi, with love and blessings, -Sarah

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Darby Hoover

This is the letter that Gogi wrote to be shared at her celebration/memorial, which I read in the gathering earlier today:

I know most people don’t write something for their own memorial service. Not everyone gets the chance to prepare for their death, not everyone would want to, and not everyone has as inspiring a group as you. Apparently, I am different.

Thank you all for loving me. The privilege of getting to live a life in a body is extraordinary, though we don’t always remember that. We often get caught up in how our bodies don’t look or work the ways we hope for, or in how they are injured, aging, failing or inconvenient. But life in a body means enjoying the sensual pleasures of life – a fresh peach, a summer breeze, being in water or freshly laundered sheets, laughter, dancing, singing, good chocolate or wine or freshly baked bread, gazing at the beauty of the world and the night sky, a hug from a friend – something we’ve all been missing these past few months. But the greatest gift of getting to live in a body is the chance it gives us to love one another.

Thank you for loving me and for being part of my community. As I look back over my life, the thing I cherish most is you all. I have been so incredibly wealthy in love and friendship. Living in community in the Woolsey Compound has been an unbelievable blessing. My family and extended family have been steadfastly loving and supportive. Lifelong friendships as well as new friendships with kindred spirits, collaborating, caring, and supporting each other through all the ups and downs, with such depth and tenderness is a true joy. Indeed, it allowed me to be open, vulnerable, and supported in these past months – it is truly what got me through. I have received a tsunami of love from all of you, and I am beyond grateful! It has been so moving for me to walk past all the rocks you made me. And it’s a great comfort to know that my kids and the rest of the Woolsey compound will continue to walk past all that love, creativity and support.

And it has been humbling. I see the extraordinary kindness and generosity, the creativity and open heartedness with which you’ve loved and cared for me. It has pointed out to me all the many missed opportunities I’ve had where I could have been more kind, giving, loving. Don’t get me wrong: I know myself to be a kind, giving and loving person. But many of you have done things for me that I never even thought of doing.

So love one another. Don’t miss those opportunities to say the vulnerable thing, to help someone out, be they stranger or loved one, be creative and generative, without thought to what is customary.

Eat the fresh peach/bread/chocolate/wine/dessert, gaze at the stars, smell the proverbial flowers, delight in what your body can do, and thank it for all it has made possible for you (and maybe also forgive yourself for all the ways you haven’t been able to love it as you would wish). But most of all, love one another.

With gratitude and love,
Gogi (Margaret)

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Kris Starr-Witort

Cyndie Benjamin

Marieka Brown

What a beautiful gathering today. Thank you to everyone who put it together (including Gogi), and made it so special. I am so grateful for the opportunity to laugh and cry and sing and celebrate in community, and it was a gift to see faces I hadn't seen in a long while. I appreciate this space as a place to learn more about others' connections to Gogi and to be able to unite us in Gogi Love!

I remember meeting Gogi soon after moving to SF in 1992. I was working at Old Wives' Tales bookstore with Tricia Lambie, who introduced me to Gogi. They invited me to a New Year's eve gathering, where we welcomed the new year with a beautiful ritual, and amazing friendships were born. It was a collection of kindred spirits, and we soon started "The Moon Group," getting together once a month for ritual, sharing, and support. This lasted for several years, and with time our community grew and shifted and changed, but through its different phases, I remember Gogi being so incredibly invested in each and every person. She was a constant, loving and caring presence.

After several years of being out of touch, it was a true blessing to get a phone call from Gogi this year to bring me back into her circle once more. Thank you, friend, for letting me walk beside you from New Mexico. I appreciate your attention to ritual, your intention to living life fully, and your constant caring. I look forward to seeing you again when the time is right. Until then, know that I carry your love with me.

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Rebeckah Lord

Here is a poem for you, Gogi...

Off you go, Gogi!
May you fly free, may
you rise from your
own ashes, may you
follow the rose petals
that lead you to
fresh air, may you
shine your love
with your whole
heart, knowing that
it will always be
replenished,
and may you
know in the
wholeness of your
being, that the
world needed you
AS YOU.
All you have to do now
is tune into your gentle
heart, and listen
to which way
your "YES" leads you
from here...

Sent from the confluence at Harpers Ferry, WV, where the Potomac & Shenandoah Rivers come together and head East to the Atlantic Ocean...

With love and blessings across the river,
Rei Firelily

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Jill Miller

Gogi. You have done more than you may ever know. As someone also committed to justice, your work supported a part of my family's journey by creating Mosaic, before we ever met. Little did I know 17 years ago, when my then 10 year old participated in such an important experience, that I would come to know you, Sheri, and your children. It was my honor and pleasure to participate with you in creating more justice and peace. Holding your memory and the responsibility to our children and the children to come, I will continue on the journey for social justice. With courage, in connection, and in peace. Cheers to your legacy!
Sincerely,
Jill

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Ben Wilson

I've known Gogi since college. I ran into Gogi at parties, dinners and other group events. At each event we would always have conversation--usually less than 30 minutes. Both of us would smile the whole time. We loved to talk about our children, and social and racial justice. Even though these events were filled with many people she was closer to than me, when I spoke to her I felt like the only person in the room. I will miss her.

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Krista Alderson

I met Gogi in 2019 when she came to Centro Legal de la Raza's Tenants' Rights Program. She was hired to fix our government contract invoicing issue- to catch us up. It was actually a bit of a crisis, and it was going to take a miracle worker to fix it. And of course, she not only fixed it, she left things so much better. She made lasting improvements and trained others. She just gave and gave of her skills and knowledge. On top of all that, during the 9 months or so we worked together, we spent our days sharing a small office, and sharing our stories and lives. She was a generous listener and also forged a deep connection with me quickly and powerfully, sharing her journey with me, and all the changes happening in her life. We both left Centro within months of each other and were excited to have a friendship outside of work. We had plans for an Indian dinner last spring, but we never had that meal- COVID and her diagnosis arrived. I am so grateful for our short time as friends. Her great spirit touched me so. The depth of her love for her children was profound. It was an example of motherhood I will never forget. I will cherish her memory forever.

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Lisa Hoffman Jennifer Wilson

2005, Oakland, CA, USA

Maia birth group with Gogi

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Comments:

Lisa Hoffman Jennifer Wilson

We were so grateful to connect with Gogi and other moms through a birth group at Maia Midwifery. After our... Read more We were so grateful to connect with Gogi and other moms through a birth group at Maia Midwifery. After our babies were born, we... Read more We were so grateful to connect with Gogi and other ... Read more

Deb Jue

yay Maia Midwifery! yay Maia Midwifery! yay Maia Midwifery!

Toby Eastman

Gogi clearly made the most of her brief time on this planet! Her legacy and memory will live on. Sending love and peace to her family and her amazing community.

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Lisa Juachon

Gogi, I wish you a safe and easeful journey home. I will always remember your warmth in all the interactions we had at Woolsey School and MX. You've left a better world for our young people and your kiddos. XOXO, Lisa, Drew, Anais & Basilio

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Lauren Poole

Thank you Gogi for the many gifts of your life and your passing.
I have learned so much through your journey, as I know so many others have too. I am honored to be part of the many circles of love and caring that you created. When my time comes, you will be part of it. Your words courage, connection and peace stay with me.

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Deb Jue

Sending Gogi's familes and communities love as we remember her and honor her.
I met her well after college, through Darby and our work with (now-named) Voices Lesbian A Cappella for Justice, for which Gogi helped establish the group's not for profit 501(c)3 status. She was also one our board for several years - yet more ways in which she extended herself to her greater community.

To Laila and Gogi: upon hearing your experiences with Gogi during her last days."High dive at the river"/ how scary it is to contemplate such infinite darkness/ the veil initially thick and hard to divine the other side.

Gogi's process of building courage to make that big jump into and across the river./when she finally said "ok"/in my mind the jump was only a few inches high/ Not because it has been that small all the while, but because she had expanded herself into that veil, to become the veil/when any "physical" sense of distance beomes meaningless.

To Voices and Gogi: upon hearing Woyaya again that we had recorded last Spring without knowing what was up ahead. I have never sung that sung knowing that it would help guide someone to the next plane. To hear it again, knowing that she heard it often breaks my heart open.

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Annette Tatum

2003, Berkeley, CA, USA

I met Gogi working at the Mosaic project. I was privileged to be their first full-time staff member in the office. The first office was at the Woolsey compound. Gogi and I worked closely together setting up the administration processes for Mosaic. We had so much fun working together and would often end up visiting and solving the world’s problems over long lunches and tea together. It was the best!
Gogi inspired me to live the biggest life possible. She taught me that my life could be so much more than I had been taught, told, or what others wanted of me. Gogi made me feel that I was capable of anything I dreamed and should never settle for anything less. She changed my life, and I will always love her for it.
She was a mentor and mama role model to all of us at the Mosaic Project. So, when I had a preterm birth and was scared and overwhelmed, she was one of the first calls I made. Gogi was so incredibly supportive and encouraging and it meant the world to me. Now that teeny tiny little human is a big wonderful and creative 8-year old and we’re starting a nonprofit organization to support other preemie families. I do not think any of this would have happened in my life if I had not met Gogi and she became the wind at my back.
Love you always Gogi. In my heart forever, Annette

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Cara Lazarus

Thank you to making this space to remember Gogi. I have loving memories of Gogi, as she celebrated with the women of Mother Heart Circle of those who have come before and those who follow. Gogi, we will meet on the other side. To family and friends, my heart goes out to you and to everyone who loved her. She will be missed by so many.

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Annette Tatum

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Created with love by Darby Hoover (Gogi's friend).

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