I encourage anyone to share a memory on Machiko today which would have been her 84th birthday. It's been two years and I still am a little in shock. Death is such an odd thing. Technically my mother lived a very normal life span but I was very convinced she was going to live into her late 90's. I have a lot of regret for having that stubborn assumption. 

My mom was a stay at home mom until I was about in 4th grade. Today I tried to remember those times when she was younger and had more energy (but not MUCH more as she was raising 3 kids). I remember her letting us pull all the spices, baking supplies, and condiments from the cabinets and letting us play "chemistry" as we mixed things together. Once my brother mixed a few things with  vinegar and baking soda in a film canister which resulted in a small explosion of greenish liquid that flew to the ceiling. Mom didn't get mad and cleaned it up- I imagine laughing with the rest of us. 

There's also a Japanese holiday in early February called "Setsubun".  During this holiday, you throw roasted beans around the house and and shout "Oni wa soto! Fuku wa uchi!" ("Devils out, happiness in").  One family member often dresses up as the devil and you throw the beans at them. I remember having so much fun doing this with my siblings and mom. The unfortunately victim of bean throwing I think was my brother. 

Finally, I recently bought a new bread machine from Japan which also makes mochi. I made my first batch of fresh mochi this summer and remembered how my mom made fresh mochi, year after year for New Year's Day. I loved fresh mochi so much, I would hover around while it was being prepared and then pig out once it was ready. The machine she had for mochi was so large (about the size of a cooler) and she had to use a converter to run it in the United States. When I was a kid, I just was happy to munch on the mochi but years later I think about what it meant for my mom to buy this machine, haul it to the United States, track down a converter and to prepare this mochi year after year in a time when Japanese food was not known by many and Japanese New Year's was celebrated only in our home.  

Thank you to everyone who was able to make it to our Mom's memorial service yesterday.  For those who weren't able to come, I am posting a slightly edited version of my mother's eulogy.  There is so much more I could have said and shared so many more memories, but it was nice to keep it  somewhat brief and allow time for others at the service to share their stories and memories too.  There was much laughter as well as tears.  It was a heartwarming and meaningful celebration of my mother's life and  I know she would have been touched to know how much people valued and loved her.  For those who couldn't be there--we felt you there in spirit! 

It has been really wonderful, in the past couple months, to have had the opportunity to meet and get to know some of you as well as read some of the stories shared on my Mom’s memorial site. If you can say there is a silver lining in all of this, it has been getting to learn more about my mother’s life and her friendships, the people who care about her like we do. It has been really lovely to hear about the impact she had on others, the kindness and generosity she showed to people, and above all, to hear how so many people also enjoyed her amazing cooking. Our mom’s love language was definitely food–something she passed on to my sister and me. I am kicking myself for not learning more from her when I had the chance. Her gyoza was always perfect. She had an amazing ability to deep fry anything and ensure that it was crispy, but never too oily. I can never make my onigiri look as pretty or perfectly triangular as hers. Whenever we would visit her, she would make sure to make our favourite meals–and it was always very important to my Mom that we eat together as a family.

It wasn’t really the nature of our relationship to talk with much depth about our lives, so in some ways, it’s sad to think there is a lot about our Mom we never got the chance to know. At the same time, of course, there is still a lot I do know that I will cherish in my memories of her. Some things that come to mind as I write are:

• How much Mom loved to have a laugh and share funny stories. She had a surprisingly blunt sense of humour. She enjoyed teasing people and liked being teased herself.
• Mom had a great sense of adventure and loved to travel. I’ve always thought it must have taken courage and spirit for her to go against the traditional and cultural expectations of a woman of her age at the time, and leave her life and family in Japan to move to the States.
• Mom was also incredibly hard working. For many years, she commuted to work from Olympia to Seattle and back again–even on Saturdays, when she took us to Japanese school. As much as we all hated going to Japanese school, I’m so grateful to Mom for ensuring we grew up knowing our Japanese family, culture, and language. She worked hard to send us to Japan over many summers when we were children, even when she couldn’t afford to join us.
• Mom was strong and a lot tougher than she looked. I saw this in particular in the way she faced her final days. She battled extreme illness while stubbornly holding on to what she could of her independence. All the while, she managed to keep her sense of humor until the very end.
• Mom was loyal and generous.  She would have done anything for the people she loved.

My mom held an enormous place in our lives. Because we all lived far away, for many years my brother Owen (who unfortunately couldn’t be here today) called her five days a week and Colette and I called her every weekend. We planned many of our vacations around visiting her. It is still really hard to fathom or process a life without her. Never in a million years did I imagine, when I arrived in the States in mid-July, that I would be speaking at my Mom’s memorial service two months later. Mom always had this unfailing confidence in her own health and we were convinced of it too! She often talked about how her own mother, our Obaachan, lived to 102. Although we were worried about her Alzheimer’s diagnosis and what that meant for her future, advanced cancer came as a shock to us all. I think we are all still reeling from the speed in which we lost her. We thought we still had many more years with her.

Nevertheless, as much as we are grieving her loss, we also feel so much gratitude. I am so grateful that we were able to be here in my mom’s time of need and be with her in her final weeks. I want to thank my husband Carl and Colette’s partner Drew for putting their lives on hold to be with us and support us through one of the hardest times of our lives. We are also so grateful for the love and support of our extended family and friends–many of whom wanted to join us today but couldn’t. We send our love to our family in Japan–who had such a shock hearing the news and are grieving from far away. We are so glad our brother and so many of my mother’s friends could come and visit her before she died to show their love and say goodbye. We are grateful to the Island House staff and Kindred Hospice for helping us care for our Mom through her final days. It would have been so much harder without their support and guidance. We are also grateful for the good friends my Mom was able to make in such a short time at Island House.

Finally, I want to express my heartfelt gratitude to my Mom–for her love, her fierce devotion, and for everything she did in the hopes of giving us a good life. We love her and miss her very much.

• My condolences to all of Machiko's family (all over the world)  I first met Machiko in Tokyo in 1969 through a mutual friend.  We became close and she moved to Seattle  the next year after I had returned.  She lived with my family for more than a year.  We did so many things together during that time.  I was back in Japan when she and John got married but I notice my mom in one of the pictures of that day. We stayed close for many years and I took my son to visit their homes, both in Renton and Prosser.  Time goes by and we pretty much lost touch for the last twenty years or so.  But at the beginning of the pandemic she called me out of the blue and we had a number of long telephone conversations.  I heard much about Naoko, Momoko, and Ryuji as we mostly spoke in Japanese.

My heart is with Machiko's family at this very difficult time.  It was such a pleasure and an honor to work with such a beautiful, kind, amazing person for 11 years.  I am so very sad.  She had such incredible grace, and humor.  She had  an  amazing work ethic and was so very generous.  I loved her charisma, sense of humor and wit.  

Her curious mind and fearlessness was such an inspiration to me.  She will be greatly missed.  Sending my love to her family.  

Her passing was so sudden and so shocking to all of our family in Japan. 

日本にいる家族が真智子おばちゃんにお別れを言いにそちらに行けないのが、とても残念です。おばちゃんが日本に帰ってくるのを待っています。お悔やみ申し上げます。

I can't believe she is gone. We are working different company but in the same building. I met her through mutual friend, Since then we became a good friends. we talk hours of nothing on the phone. When we are out for lunch , we always look  for a place we can stay for a long talk. We usually end up  at a place  such as food court  and after hours of talking of nothing we went Nordstrom cafe  for coffee an cake.  I will miss her so dearly.

My deepest  sympathy.

Mayumi