I have typed out and deleted a hundred different posts because no words seem like the right ones to properly honor you or to express my feelings. So I’ll just say this…

I miss you already and I’m going to miss you every single day for the rest of my life. I know life isn’t fair but losing you before I’m 40, before you’ve had a chance to watch my kids grow up, before you even got see 60… it just isn’t fair! 💔 Who am I supposed to call with big life events or to vent about the struggles of motherhood with? Who am I suppose to visit when I’m just feeling ornery and want someone to bug? Every day I realize how much you’re going to miss out on, how many things we will never get to experience together, how many little every day things that I’m going to miss and how much space your presence actually filled in my life.

My heart is crushed, most of the time it hurts to breathe and while I know you’re still with me, the human part of me just can’t comprehend the idea of never seeing or speaking to you again.

I will cherish all of our memories, the good ones and even the hard ones. I will carry you in my heart and always make sure the kids know how much their YiaYia loved them.

I dont want to say goodbye to you. I don’t want to live a life without you. I don’t want to have to grieve you or to grieve what should have been. I want my mom, I want you here with me but since I know this is what God has planned for us, I will do my best to live a life that you would be proud of.

Thank you for being my mom. I love you forever 🕊️ - Ashley