Dear Mom,

Going through your belongings has been so heartwarming and sorrowful at the same time. Its been flooding me with memories of the woman who raised me, the woman who later befriended me, and the woman who later entrusted me with her well being. You are and will always be all of those women to me. A woman who is tough as nails, but joyful as a child. You memorized everybody in your life because u always wore your heart on your sleeve. You were generous, and even from the heavens you are still generous. I know you will be watching out for us, and i promise the donations you ordered to charities after your passing WILL be carried out. You are as generous now as you always have been. From watching out for the coloureds and blacks in South Africa, to helping ANY family member (immediate or distant) do ANYthing at the drop of a dime, to volunteering at grandma’s care-home countless hours - you simply enjoyed giving. I pulled out this poem given to you by grandma’s care home. [read poem #1]. That is you Mom. Always trying to make everybody else’s lives easier and thankful for the opportunity to do so.

There is nothing I am more grateful for in my life than you. We took care of each other in the hardest of times. We never turned our backs on one another. YOU taught me those family values. With everlasting grace and a smile on your face, you set the stage for how to take care of your elders the way you cared for Grandma Stella. For all these reasons, I was able to take care of you. That labour of love has been the greatest blessing in my life. To be able to GIVE that to you was a GIFT to me. Because of the lessons you taught me, I was able to walk with you - to that door which only you can pass through. How much courage u must've had to take your last breath - one can only imagine. NEVER have I EVER seen so much courage in anyone’s face - right until you surrendered. I had never seen u surrender to anything, and even when u did, you were graceful. Your final moments were as inspiring as your entire life - maybe more. It was if you were saying “you think the past 76y was something? Watch this…” I felt so sad to be losing you, but so proud of you at the same time. While my heart crumbled my spirit applauded your for how strong u stayed. Just like you to be so graceful even in the darkest of times. Like Jesus on the cross, you always made pain a beautiful thing. As i was going through your things i pulled out another poem  [read poem #2]. And that was you mom. Sacrifice and pain with everlasting light shining on your face the whole way through.

I was able to wipe the last tear you would cry, and watch your spirit sparkle into the sky. My face showed sadness and despair as my heart cheered you on with admiration. Once again, you set the stage.

From beginning to end, mom, I applaud you. The tales of South Africa need no telling to give an idea of what you went through. I’m extremely grateful to have heard some of those tales from you during your elderly years. I’m happy I got to know you more as your friend, rather than your child. Ironically, it helped me get to know myself a lot more too…as my mother’s child.

You’ve always inspired me, even as you left your body - especially as you left your body. The irony is that I can feel your presence even more now, and I never want that to change. I wish so bad that I could hold you and that you could hold me too. When I think about having my arms around you, or your face in my hands, I can feel you in my heart, in my blood, and in my bones. I know you’re still there. People say that you live in me now, but i know others can feel you too. You are everywhere - you are with God.

I’ll keep talking to you at night when I’m sad and alone, and when I’m not sad anymore, I will STILL talk to you. I will enjoy your presence forever, and u can enjoy mine too. You are not gone. You will never be forgotten, and we will always celebrate you. I love you so much, and Im forever thankful for the miracle you are. You can rest now, Mom - rest in peace.

Lillian and I met several years ago. She wanted to get her family photos preserved into albums but was unable to do it herself due to physical limitations. At that time, I was not doing such large projects for clients, but I agreed to meet her. She was the sweetest woman and I immediately wanted to help. She had boxes of photos and memorabilia which I took with me. She was overjoyed when I delivered her completed albums. I could tell how valuable these memories were to her and how much she appreciated what we had done. I’ve always felt blessed to have been given that opportunity.

Today, I received a phone call from her son. Lillian had kept my number and even noted my Mum and Daghters names in her contact book. He was calling to inform me of her passing. As I spoke with him, I explained how I knew his Mum and that this project had always held a special place in my heart. I told him that although we had never met, I felt like I knew him. I remember she and the family liked to travel and had big birthday celebrations. He told me how much he appreciated having the scrapbooks.  

Rest In Peace Lillian. You were an amazing woman and I feel blessed to have met you.   Condolences to the family. 

Sending our hearfelt sympathies to Lilian's sisters Hilda and Lorraine, and her daughter Lesley and sons Jefferson and Virgil and all your families. She was a wonderful person who gave us so many beautiful and lovely memories.  We are sad that she is no longer with us and so she will always be lovingly remembered with a special place in our hearts. May her Memory always be a Blessing and may her Dear Soul Rest in Peace.

Sending hugs and love to all of you

Donald and Bernadette