Personal note from Tim
The Measure of a Mother
If one were to quantify how good or effective a parent is, you could use some standard metrics like hugs per day or skinned knees mended or embarrassing stories told to future prom dates. But I have a totally different system – defiantly unconventional but arguably more effective.
A parent is as good inversely proportional as the child is bad.
By this metric – my mother was a saint.
From throwing my brothers hat off a train, to peeing on a plant in preschool, arguing with my soccer coach to the point they quit, throwing ketchup out a bus window or even throwing a party when the parents were on vacation would all qualify my mother as amazing.
But what is even more amazing is how she let me fail.
As an adult, I have failed spectacularly. And some might say this is a result of poor upbringing. Which is why I am setting the record straight. It is precisely because I was allowed to fail – to live as I chose, and then to live with those choices, that she was amazing. Treating me as an adult when I was an adult allowed me to form a new relationship with my mother. It gave me the opportunity to see how much of a jerk I was after my father died.
It allowed me to pay for the financial mistakes of my college years in the years to come. It allowed me to – at the moment when I failed the hardest – to take responsibility for what I had done, and for what was to come for the rest of my life.
I was given the knowledge to be an adult. To live, laugh, fail, cry and love – all with her wisdom to back up my new experiences.
I can only say I’m sorry so many times… but I can never say thank you enough.
Laurel H. Doehler was called home to the eternal joys of Heaven the morning of October, 27th 2018. She was surrounded by family at the time of her passing. Laurel moved to Colorado to be closer to her two sons, Christopher and Timothy while receiving continuing care for undifferentiated Dementia.
Laurel was born March 10th, 1940 to Mary B. and J.D. Hampton in Ballard County, Kentucky. Laurel was active in the local 4-H program along …