A Lesson at the Steakhouse
Papa always believed in running a business the right way. He talked about it a lot—sometimes more than I wanted—but I listened. And over time, I understood.
One night at my favorite Japanese steakhouse in Hilton Head, the food was great, the service was flawless. It was one of those nights where everything felt just right.
I tugged on his pant leg and said, "If we’re supposed to complain when things go wrong, shouldn’t we tell them when things go right, too?"
He looked at me with bright eyes, as if I’d just said something important—something he hadn’t quite thought about that way before.
"Yes," he said. And instead of just agreeing, he got up and went straight to the manager. He told them the service was excellent, the food was perfect, that the whole experience was worth praising.
And he tipped well—because he always tipped well.
Most people complain when things go wrong. Not many take the time to recognize when things go right. But Papa did. And that night, he showed me that listening and acting go hand in hand.
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Everything is hard today. I’m proud of myself for my ability to help solve customers problems more often than my ability to solve my own. I am really scared here, I need to find a better home. I’m thankful work is such a great escape from my current surroundings, I’m overwhelmed with joy and excitement to start work with the brightest and kindest people I’ve encountered in my lifetime, go figure! I’ve had too many signs and signals to relocate, I don’t feel save leaving my apartment, grabbing my mail, so I need to relocated ASAP if possible, there’s too much risk staying here. I think often about what you told me about family and money and politics and religion and how greed drives through greatest minds and people. I read an article the other day about people stealing vases off of graves, I mean that’s rough, I actually feel really badly for anyone that feels the need to do that. If you could assist me for the umpteenth time in my life, I would really appreciate it and be grateful for a new safe place to live and grow 🌻🌸🪻🪷
Thank you for listening 👂
Love you,
Sarah
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Dearest Papa,
It has been too long since I have written to you and I have a lot I would like to share with you. First of all, I wanted to thank you for everything you have done to guide me as well as everyone else you love. It appears you are still a very busy guy, no surprise there though! You have always taken the best care of all of us and brought countless people together and sent many blessings our way, it almost feels like you are cashing in all of your good deeds to help others find their happiness and way forward in this life.
I appreciate your hand in this new role, I already feel like I have met life long friends and am so grateful. It’s been a dream come true.
To be continued…obviously this is an incomplete note but wanted to lay out some groundwork while I gather the rest of my thoughts.
I miss you so much, thank you for being so great.
Love,
Sarah
P.S.- I am sorry about my current flower 🌹 arrangement, I will get better ❤️🩹
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Every single year of Ken’s life since 1997 (minus the year when he had surgery) our family had Christmas dinner at Ken and Shonnie’s home. Last few years we had it at Clyde’s in Ashburn.
Ken became friends with my father through his church when someone asked for a volunteer to teach my dad English. Ken invited us to his home for Christmas dinner. It became our yearly tradition we all cherished.
As new immigrants to the country we were completely enamored by Ken’s Christmas Village. Our kids adored it. My favorite was always the Starbucks Cart :) Ken and Shonnie always made the holidays feel extra special and we always looked forward to seeing Ken and Shonnie’s home in all it’s Christmas glory. Our children grew up with Ken’s magic of Christmas. We will keep Ken in our hearts forever.
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The day we celebrated the life of my grandmother Beverly, I remembered I had a project for a class where I was to interview an elder for my psychology of aging course. Having just lost my grandparents I asked Shonnie if she would be willing to participate. She politely told me “I would love to, but uncle Kenny is much more interesting.” So we set up a time, I sent him the questions ahead of time and we talked on the phone for hours. We covered early life, aging, times of transition. He taught me aging was leaving the playing field and moving to cheering on the sidelines. One of the questions I asked if there was anything that he didn’t do that he wished he had, his answer was short but inspiring. “No, I’ve done everything I wanted to, gone everywhere I wanted to go.” His interview helped me heal in ways I didn’t know I could, and I live everyday by his words, and to top it off I aced that assignment.
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Ken was a great leader at Donnelley, a big thinker never afraid to take risks for the right opportunity. Blessed with an uncanny ability to get extraordinary performance from his people. Of course, his main strength ( besides his handwriting) was making work fun. I have heard stories from grandchildren about some of Ken's most fun and entertaining moments. Don't worry grandkids, he tied my shoes together numerous times. Did he ever put cigar butts in your jacket pockets or stink cheese in your briefcase to see if you opened it over the weekend? Seriously KOJ was a wonderful mentor to have and taught much about life and family which always came first. He was my friend and will be sorely missed. In closing, I only pray that his handwriting will improve in heaven ( maybe St Peter has a good word processor)
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2012, Stratford House, Stratford House Place, Reston, VA, USA
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This painting by Jill Banks depicts the back of Ken’s head with his beloved poker pals gathered every Wednesday evening for well over 16 years. We not only played all forms of poker but also discussed and solved most of the world’s problems and Ken was always the head moderator! We all miss him dearly and all his pals send their love and condolences!
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