Dear Julie,

This is so long overdue. I’m sorry I haven’t made time to find the words to express my love and gratitude to you for all you’ve done for me. 

What is there to share…

When I first met you, it was at some Cambodian club event. You were either tabling, or it was a general meeting. Either way, you made me feel so welcome in BCSA. I think you were one of the primary reasons I felt so connected to the club and the people. You were so warm and thoughtful— one of my fondest memories was that you baked me a cake on my birthday and you presented it to me at the winter banquet.Up until that point, I don’t think anyone had ever baked me a cake. I was so taken aback by this gesture of love. You showered people with love often and we are so lucky to have received it. 

At times, it felt like you were like my older sister away from home. You taught me life lessons, helped me on my career journey and encouraged me to pursue opportunities like the ASK program. I still remember you teaching me how to put on a tampon in college lol. You shouted directions through the bathroom door in our apartment. Despite how uncomfortable I was, you had a way of making people feel comfortable in their own skin. You also were great at making things feel less taboo— I remember a few talks about intimacy and dating. There were so many lighthearted memories we shared. Thank you for creating a safe space for me to be open. 

You were one of the most independent girls I knew. You loved your life in the co-op. You were a Berkeley Bicycling Baddie. I remember one time you said someone opened the door in front of you and you rammed into them and  flipped over. You had some bruising but you were unphased. That was the type of person you were. You were adventurous, you always persevered and you were relentless in achieving your goals. I was so happy to read that you pursued your dream career of supporting persons with their behavioral health needs. I knew your clients would be lucky to have you.

I miss you and I wish I took the opportunity to tell you how much you meant to me and how much you’ve shaped me and my experiences. I regret not showing up for you more and maintaining our relationship outside of college. For that, I am truly sorry. I love you so much and hope you’re riding bikes around the beautiful temples of Angkor with your ancestors. Until we meet again, my friend. 

I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Julie through TAL/ REACH! at UC Berkeley and being her friend. Thank you for always being a great mentor to our mentees, for sharing your positive vibes, and for being a great friend.

It’s unfortunate that we lost touch when everyone graduated, but I am so proud of you for pursuing your passions and making a difference in your patients’ and others’ lives. I know that if and when we meet again, we would pick up where we left off. 

You may not be here physically with us, but you will always live on in our hearts and shine on among the stars. We love and miss you Julie!

Condolences to Julie’s family and loved ones. 

Out of all my cousins, Julie was the one I could relate to most. We were close enough in age to go through the same milestones close together. We really did grow up together, me and my brother David - Julie and Michael. It’s very hard for me to say Julie without saying Michael and vice versa. They were that close. They were always a team and I looked at the love that they had for each other with such happiness in my heart. I lost my own brother David 17 years ago. I knew then that no one could really understand what it was like to lose a sibling, and not just any sibling but my sibling, my brother. It was my own private grief that I carried for so long. But I know that we are all here today, feeling that same shock and disbelief that I felt all those years ago.

We are shocked because of who Julie was. Who I knew her to be was who I knew as myself. We were so similar. We encountered many traumas and obstacles in life that made us stronger for getting through it. We were the older sisters, the eldest daughters. Our parents depended on us. Our brothers depended on us. We were the practical ones in our family, always the voice of reason. It’s exactly why I never worried about Julie because I knew that like me, she would figure out what to do. And it’s why losing Julie now feels like losing a part of myself.

What helped me deal with the grief of losing my brother was to remember David in a moment when he was most happy. To always go back to that image in my mind. For Julie, my favorite memory was the day she graduated from nursing school. I remember the ceremony and the photos after. But it was recently, when I was looking through old photos of Julie that I remembered a lost memory from that day. My aunt, Julie and Michael had finished taking photos after the ceremony and we all went back to Michael and Julie’s apartment after. It was there that Julie changed out of her graduation gown and had on this beautiful, elegant red dress. She opened her graduation gifts from all of us and my aunt had gotten her a cake that said “congratulations” on it. She was a little embarrassed by all of the attention, but you could tell she loved being there with her family. I remember my aunt taking those photos of her in the dress. I remembered I was right there with her, how happy I felt for her and how happy I felt to be there. I remember looking at Julie as she smiled for a photo and thinking about her bright future ahead. She was so vibrant and full of life. We will never truly understand why this happened. But I know that the same light I saw in her that day is something I will always carry with me. That spark she left in this world will never go out in my heart. I love you forever, Julie.

My most sincere condolences to Julie's friends and family. Julie’s loss is so difficult to process, and I’m so grateful to have found this memorial space. Thank you for creating it!

I first met Julie when she applied  and interviewed for a psychiatric nurse practitioner position in the behavioral health department I was managing at a community health center in Chicago.  I was amazed that she flew out from SF to interview with us. We offered and she accepted the position, taking a big step moving to the Midwest as a new NP. I was really worried she wouldn’t accept the job since the market was competitive and she was extremely well qualified as a new grad. It was not just her clinical experience that made her stand out and impress me. She exuded a sense of deep knowing, curiosity  and being with herself and others, and her dedication to learning and helping others inspires me today. As her manager for over two years, we would meet regularly for hour long talks and discuss her goals, growth, and experiences providing care. She usually had a list to talk through, and she was so honest and direct about her and experience—a strong advocate for herself and others.  The job was really hard each day, and she became a core member of our team—always professional, humble, and kind. We also talked about her time living in Chicago and adjusting to the cold, driving in snow, and flat terrain—which I admit is hard to deal with when you grow up in California! 

I had been messaging with her this past spring as she interviewed for jobs out west with plans to return to CA. I now live in Oregon and envisioned that we would meet up and hike along the pacific coast some day soon. Julie, I think of you often when I hike and look out among the trees and ocean from the trail. I miss you and will carry your memory and heart with me in my clinical work. I truly deeply hope you are at peace. 

With lots of love, Kelli