Good morning. I am Christopher, Juanita’s grandson from her daughter, Debbie. My nearly 42- year life is right about the length of the job she retired from. She made it to her 89th birthday and then some. From her birth in 1933 to her retirement was just around 60 years. I still have 18 years to get to that point. A lot can happen within that time span.

Memory and Truth are funny things. My memory tells me that of all the family, I feel I may have spent the most time with her. The truth is that of all the people that have been in my life, my grandma is the one that has been the most present and participatory.

One of my earliest memories of time with my grandma, which is a bit fuzzy at this point in my life, is going to work with her during a summer I was staying with her. She was a manager at Southwestern Bell and visitors had to wear a special badge. What I remember is that I was playing with the alligator clip on the badge and managed to pinch and hurt my finger. I remember my ... Read moregrandma and many other grandmas running to my rescue. I remember my grandma taking me to see these giant catfish that were bigger than me at the time. I remember that I was being a dumb kid and fell and hurt my wrist and she found a way to get me patched up. I still have the scar. My earlier memories may be fuzzy and even failing me, but the truth isn’t: my grandma was always there for me, no matter what.

For many of you, perhaps family most of all, that knew grandma before our car accident in 2004, there may be memories of a woman with strong beliefs. You may have memories of her sharing her opinion, and perhaps even memories of some strong judgments and prejudices. For those of us that were especially close to her, we likely also have memories of her always learning and growing into a person that overcame her prejudices. What I remember is she became a woman that even with her opinions, and attitudes, and judgements, never let that get in the way of doing the right thing and rendering aide and support when it was needed.
The truth is I’ve only collected two-thirds the memories that my mother and uncle can recall. Her elder sister and only surviving sibling Helen may be able to recall my grandmother’s entire lifetime as memories. The truth is memories are but glimpses and moments and no singular memory or even the collection of memories from a single person will ever adequately define an individual.
A lot of you may be blessed by only the last few years of my grandma’s life. I dare say they may be some of the richest blessings you may receive. Truth be told, for as long as I have memories of her, they are made up of sacrifice and offering, one after another. Be it driving to Texas to take care of her grandchildren when my uncle and aunt had to go on a trip or an overnight drive into the mountains of Arkansas to help my mom care for me and my sisters. Or middle of the night runs to the emergency room when one of my sisters or myself had an emergency and mom needed support. No matter the reason, no matter what she was doing, my memories are of a woman who was always there for her family.

These last 18 years of my grandma’s life were some of her most challenging. Yet, while she always brought her ornery and cantankerous personality, she also brought every bit of survival fight and strength of character to fill my memories with a woman who scaled an ever-increasing mountain of health and physical and mental challenges. For the 8- and one-half years I directly cared for my grandma following the accident, we tackled daily physical and occupational therapy at my parents’ house and then at the clinic until she could finally return to her own home. We later battled through a relocation to find her and me a new home that was better suited for her ongoing needs and care, to only then face breast cancer before getting into thyroid surgeries. My mother then took over for a few years on daily care before my sister Rebecca took over principal care and support in 2020, just as the pandemic hit. Most of you have your own memories of these last two or three years that I ask for you to recall as I share what I believe of the last few years of my grandma’s life.

I believe the truth is that our individual and collective memories tell of a woman that continued to be there no matter what the situation was. They tell of her being a person of support, care, and growth both personally and as an example for everyone around her. And I believe that she will continue to be that person in spirit through the end of each of our lives and the lives of each life we touch.

I would like now to speak directly to a some of our family that have been part of Grandma’s daily life and were crucial in the ongoing fight my grandma put up these last 18 years.

Kylie,
You may never understand how important you were to Grandma Juanita. You were born just ahead of our car accident that changed her life forever. By the time she came to your grandma’s and grandpa’s house for her recovery, you were a source of ongoing reason for her to keep going. I hope that you will from time to time calm your mind and heart to just let her example of love and value for family guide you as you enter your adulthood.

RyLee and Lora,
She didn’t play favorites often--I should know because I did spend so much time with her--but she does have a special connection with each of you.

Ava,
Your video calls lighted your Grandma Juanita’s day and gave her a bright smile.

To Owen,
You don’t understand this today, but Grandma Juanita will always be with you. You were her source of strength and inspiration to keep fighting when her life was turned upside down going from living alone to living with you, your two big sisters and brother, your mom and dad, and the dogs. It was not an easy adjustment for her, but she was able to make that transition because of you. And as your Grandma Debbie and mommy will remind you in the years to come, your partner-in-crime will always be with you, even if you cannot remember her.

And, to Kaison and Gavin, the twins,
You brought her fresh spirit when her life was yet again shaken with a relocation and then her stroke earlier this year.

To my dad, David,
Despite your own health, you found the energy to help grandma with her laundry and as always, the two of you continued to keep each other on your toes in conversation.

To my brother-in-law Matthew, you helped to clean up messes and did a lot of the heavy lifting with RyLee to relocate her lifetime of things to the new house and storage.

To her sister Helen,
I know that having a close relationship with you, and your brothers Dillard and Dalford when they were still with us, was very important to her.

And, to all of grandma’s family and friends with whom she spoke or saw, there have been so many “cooks in the kitchen,” but she was always grateful for each of you. You each played a role greater than you may know in her ability to continue bringing us blessings and love for 89 years.

To my sister Rebecca,
who possesses a soul of infinite compassion and caregiving,
I want to thank you for the life you were able to let our grandma keep. I may have taken care of her first, but you stepped up and took care of her when she needed support and assistance that allowed her to retain her dignity and privacy in a way a grandson couldn’t provide.

And, finally, to her daughter, my mother,
You’ve been here as a coordinator and source of medical knowledge and wisdom that completed out and has been no less important than the direct care Rebecca and I provided. Life has thrown you one personal or family health challenge after another, and you have continuing challenges in front of you. Always remember that you too can always calm your mind and heart to allow your mom’s strength and guidance to pick you up when you’re in doubt or facing uncertainty.


Death is not the end! It is merely another step we must all take. For those of faith and spirituality that believe Juanita is in Heaven with God, death on Earth is but her means to move to that eternal life.

And, for all of us, her death is merely a transition to an ongoing presence on Earth for as long as we each continue to keep her memory within us and grow from her and for as long as you each keep her as part of your truth.

In a few hours, some of us will go on a bit of drive to Anadarko to inter her body with her parents and two of her brothers. For as far back as I can remember, this was an annual pilgrimage over Memorial Day weekend. Each year, I can recall the same story as we would pass by Sonic on the highway. Grandma would always remind us that she grew up in a house behind that Sonic. I don’t think that specific Sonic is still there. But for any of you that join us for the burial this afternoon, as you enter Anadarko and see what looks like an old Sonic on your right, let it be a reminder of how precious memories are.

For me, I will always remember my grandmother as the woman that took me to the store to get hamburger meat, go home and cook spaghetti and Ragu, spread towels on the floor in front of the TV, and watch movies while we ate on those towels. No matter what memory of her beliefs, opinions, and judgments, I will always know the truth is Grandma loved me, her family, and her friends. The truth is she wasn’t only present, she was actively participating when present. It is in great part through her example and pruning that I am the person I am today.

I thank you, Grandma, for every gift and lesson and moment you gave me, and there are nearly 42 years of them to draw on. I love you and carry you with me always! Read less

Good morning. I am Christopher, Juanita’s grandson from her daughter, Debbie. My nearly 42- year life is right about the length of the job she retired from. She made it to her 89th birthday and then some. From her birth in 1933 to her retirement was just around 60 years. I still have 18 years to get to that point. A lot can happen within that time span.

Memory and Truth are funny things. My memory tells me that of all the family, I feel I may have spent the most time with her. The truth is that... Read more of all the people that have been in my life, my grandma is the one that has been the most present and participatory.

One of my earliest memories of time with my grandma, which is a bit fuzzy at this point in my life, is going to work with her during a summer I was staying with her. She was a manager at Southwestern Bell and visitors had to wear a special badge. What I remember is that I was playing with the alligator clip on the badge and managed to pinch and hurt my finger. I remember my grandma and many other grandmas running to my rescue. I remember my grandma taking me to see these giant catfish that were bigger than me at the time. I remember that I was being a dumb kid and fell and hurt my wrist and she found a way to get me patched up. I still have the scar. My earlier memories may be fuzzy and even failing me, but the truth isn’t: my grandma was always there for me, no matter what.

For many of you, perhaps family most of all, that knew grandma before our car accident in 2004, there may be memories of a woman with strong beliefs. You may have memories of her sharing her opinion, and perhaps even memories of some strong judgments and prejudices. For those of us that were especially close to her, we likely also have memories of her always learning and growing into a person that overcame her prejudices. What I remember is she became a woman that even with her opinions, and attitudes, and judgements, never let that get in the way of doing the right thing and rendering aide and support when it was needed.
The truth is I’ve only collected two-thirds the memories that my mother and uncle can recall. Her elder sister and only surviving sibling Helen may be able to recall my grandmother’s entire lifetime as memories. The truth is memories are but glimpses and moments and no singular memory or even the collection of memories from a single person will ever adequately define an individual.
A lot of you may be blessed by only the last few years of my grandma’s life. I dare say they may be some of the richest blessings you may receive. Truth be told, for as long as I have memories of her, they are made up of sacrifice and offering, one after another. Be it driving to Texas to take care of her grandchildren when my uncle and aunt had to go on a trip or an overnight drive into the mountains of Arkansas to help my mom care for me and my sisters. Or middle of the night runs to the emergency room when one of my sisters or myself had an emergency and mom needed support. No matter the reason, no matter what she was doing, my memories are of a woman who was always there for her family.

These last 18 years of my grandma’s life were some of her most challenging. Yet, while she always brought her ornery and cantankerous personality, she also brought every bit of survival fight and strength of character to fill my memories with a woman who scaled an ever-increasing mountain of health and physical and mental challenges. For the 8- and one-half years I directly cared for my grandma following the accident, we tackled daily physical and occupational therapy at my parents’ house and then at the clinic until she could finally return to her own home. We later battled through a relocation to find her and me a new home that was better suited for her ongoing needs and care, to only then face breast cancer before getting into thyroid surgeries. My mother then took over for a few years on daily care before my sister Rebecca took over principal care and support in 2020, just as the pandemic hit. Most of you have your own memories of these last two or three years that I ask for you to recall as I share what I believe of the last few years of my grandma’s life.

I believe the truth is that our individual and collective memories tell of a woman that continued to be there no matter what the situation was. They tell of her being a person of support, care, and growth both personally and as an example for everyone around her. And I believe that she will continue to be that person in spirit through the end of each of our lives and the lives of each life we touch.

I would like now to speak directly to a some of our family that have been part of Grandma’s daily life and were crucial in the ongoing fight my grandma put up these last 18 years.

Kylie,
You may never understand how important you were to Grandma Juanita. You were born just ahead of our car accident that changed her life forever. By the time she came to your grandma’s and grandpa’s house for her recovery, you were a source of ongoing reason for her to keep going. I hope that you will from time to time calm your mind and heart to just let her example of love and value for family guide you as you enter your adulthood.

RyLee and Lora,
She didn’t play favorites often--I should know because I did spend so much time with her--but she does have a special connection with each of you.

Ava,
Your video calls lighted your Grandma Juanita’s day and gave her a bright smile.

To Owen,
You don’t understand this today, but Grandma Juanita will always be with you. You were her source of strength and inspiration to keep fighting when her life was turned upside down going from living alone to living with you, your two big sisters and brother, your mom and dad, and the dogs. It was not an easy adjustment for her, but she was able to make that transition because of you. And as your Grandma Debbie and mommy will remind you in the years to come, your partner-in-crime will always be with you, even if you cannot remember her.

And, to Kaison and Gavin, the twins,
You brought her fresh spirit when her life was yet again shaken with a relocation and then her stroke earlier this year.

To my dad, David,
Despite your own health, you found the energy to help grandma with her laundry and as always, the two of you continued to keep each other on your toes in conversation.

To my brother-in-law Matthew, you helped to clean up messes and did a lot of the heavy lifting with RyLee to relocate her lifetime of things to the new house and storage.

To her sister Helen,
I know that having a close relationship with you, and your brothers Dillard and Dalford when they were still with us, was very important to her.

And, to all of grandma’s family and friends with whom she spoke or saw, there have been so many “cooks in the kitchen,” but she was always grateful for each of you. You each played a role greater than you may know in her ability to continue bringing us blessings and love for 89 years.

To my sister Rebecca,
who possesses a soul of infinite compassion and caregiving,
I want to thank you for the life you were able to let our grandma keep. I may have taken care of her first, but you stepped up and took care of her when she needed support and assistance that allowed her to retain her dignity and privacy in a way a grandson couldn’t provide.

And, finally, to her daughter, my mother,
You’ve been here as a coordinator and source of medical knowledge and wisdom that completed out and has been no less important than the direct care Rebecca and I provided. Life has thrown you one personal or family health challenge after another, and you have continuing challenges in front of you. Always remember that you too can always calm your mind and heart to allow your mom’s strength and guidance to pick you up when you’re in doubt or facing uncertainty.


Death is not the end! It is merely another step we must all take. For those of faith and spirituality that believe Juanita is in Heaven with God, death on Earth is but her means to move to that eternal life.

And, for all of us, her death is merely a transition to an ongoing presence on Earth for as long as we each continue to keep her memory within us and grow from her and for as long as you each keep her as part of your truth.

In a few hours, some of us will go on a bit of drive to Anadarko to inter her body with her parents and two of her brothers. For as far back as I can remember, this was an annual pilgrimage over Memorial Day weekend. Each year, I can recall the same story as we would pass by Sonic on the highway. Grandma would always remind us that she grew up in a house behind that Sonic. I don’t think that specific Sonic is still there. But for any of you that join us for the burial this afternoon, as you enter Anadarko and see what looks like an old Sonic on your right, let it be a reminder of how precious memories are.

For me, I will always remember my grandmother as the woman that took me to the store to get hamburger meat, go home and cook spaghetti and Ragu, spread towels on the floor in front of the TV, and watch movies while we ate on those towels. No matter what memory of her beliefs, opinions, and judgments, I will always know the truth is Grandma loved me, her family, and her friends. The truth is she wasn’t only present, she was actively participating when present. It is in great part through her example and pruning that I am the person I am today.

I thank you, Grandma, for every gift and lesson and moment you gave me, and there are nearly 42 years of them to draw on. I love you and carry you with me always! Read less